Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Mild Humor, Gen, April Fool's fic, Drabble
Word Count: 662
Summary: Roy calls Ed into his office to talk to him about his recent practical jokes.
A/N: Just a little April Fool's drabble.
There was no knock before Ed walked into Roy’s office, the thirteen-year-old walking with a confident swagger that could only be chalked up to overconfidence in one’s talent and one’s ability to do whatever they wanted with that talent. It could also be summed up to the blind innocence of youth.
Perhaps it was a combination of all those things that had led Roy to pen the brat into his already hectic schedule. Well... that and the fact that he couldn’t ignore the multitude of complaints concerning the boy’s ability to take a joke just a little too far. Of course, since Roy was Ed’s immediate superior officer, the task of smacking down the law fell on Roy’s lap.
Roy glanced over from where he was standing in front of his desk, phone in hand, and signaled for Ed to wait until he was done, then continued on with his business. Ed gave him an impatient look, but shrugged and started wandering around the office, idly looking at everything.
The phone call took several more minutes as Roy had to look up a few items, but finally he turned and hung up the phone, frowning slightly as Ed walked around from the back of his desk.
Shrugging, Roy motioned for Ed to stand in front of the desk while he moved back to his chair and sat down.
“Do you know why I’ve asked to see you?” Roy began.
“You missed me?” Ed asked with a cheeky grin.
“Hardly,” Roy said blandly. “I’m sure if you racked your brain, you’d come up with the answer.”
Ed screwed up his face in thought, then shrugged. “I don’t know. You have a mission for me?”
“How about we start with Master Sergeant Anderson?”
There was a brief flash of something that resembled ‘oh shit’, but it was gone instantly, replaced again with that damned overconfident smile.
“Okay, sure, what about him?”
“I seem to recall a complaint about an array above his desk that leaked water on him at specific times of the day.”
“Oh... that’s... to bad...” Ed said, obviously trying hard to keep the smile off his face and the laugh out of his voice.
“Or maybe how Lieutenant Lyman’s car now looks a mid-evil carriage?”
“It’s bad ass though,” Ed pointed out.
Roy stared at Ed blandly, not amused. “This isn’t a joke, Edward. You’re in the military now. You have to behave yourself. You have a lot of ability and you are responsible to not misuse that.”
Ed’s face took on a chastised look; one that looked suitably sorry for what he’d done. “I know. You’re right. I’ll, uh...” He took a couple of steps backward. “Be sure to remember that. Can I go now?”
Roy folded his arms and frowned at Ed. “I don’t really think you’re understanding how serious I am.”
“Oh... no, I’m understanding it, and that’s why, well, I got it. Can I leave?” Ed was almost to the door now looking anxious to be gone.
With a shake of his head, Roy decided to let Ed go. After all, he’d said what he needed to say. If Ed continued doing what he’d been doing, then he’d have to move on to dealing out punishments.
“Alright,” Roy said, then started to stand up. “You can g—”
Or... at least he tried to stand up.
Roy tried to stand up again and found that he was stuck to his chair. Feeling more than extremely displeased, Roy looked at Ed through lidded eyes and gave Ed what he hoped was a death glare.
“I’m... in trouble, aren’t I?” Ed said, sheepish, but a smile already starting to creep on his face.
Pressing his lips together, Roy took a deep breath then said in an even, flat tone, “I’m going to kill you.”
Suddenly the grin was back and Ed said, “Yeah, but you gotta catch me first,” then slipped out the door and slammed it behind him.