Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Type: Oneshot, introspective, polyamory
Pairings: Hughes/Gracia, Hughes/Roy
Word Count: 1,193
Summary: Hughes is torn between his feelings for his wife and his feelings for his lover.
It was just another morning for Maes Hughes as his alarm went off, waking him for another workday. He instantly rolled over and shut it off, then turned back and snuggled up close to his wife, who had long ago learned to sleep through his early morning alarm.
Maes tenderly kissed her shoulder, feeling comforted by her warmth and presence. He longed to stay here with her, silently holding and loving her, but there was no avoiding work. With one last nuzzle to her neck, he slipped out of bed and dressed quietly so as not to wake her.
There was the obligatory glance into his daughter’s room, then the silent tiptoe to her bed to place a light kiss on her forehead, before moving into the kitchen for breakfast and to put his lunch together.
Maes loved his family, loved them more than he could truly express. There could never possibly be anyone as sweet and innocent as his little Elysia, and no one quite as loving, supportive, and understanding as his Gracia.
With lunch in hand, Maes walked out to the living room to retrieve his coat from where he’d tossed it on the couch the night before, then stopped as the pictures on one of the end tables caught his eye. There were several pictures of Elysia, a wedding photo with himself and Gracia, a family photo... so many pictures of the beautiful family he loved so much.
And then there was the photo of himself and his best friend, Roy Mustang. It had been taken when they were still quite fresh out of the academy and was a favorite of Maes’s. He couldn’t help but smile at the serious look on
There was a swallow, and then another, as Maes stared at the one photo among those of his family. Perhaps a casual visitor might think it was an odd addition to the end table collection, but it was anything but that.
Over a period of years, Maes had felt his friendship invaded by feelings of something else, of something more. He’d tried to hide it, tried to force those feelings away. After all, he was married, and even if he wasn’t, Maes had never had those types of feelings for someone of the same sex—unlike
Finally, the guilt over his feelings pushed him to talk with Gracia. She had listened and mulled over the subject. They’d talked for hours over several weeks, even months, leading to the final result of Gracia allowing him to pursue his feelings for Roy—and Roy alone—so long as she was kept informed and as long as she and Elysia remained the most important people to him.
The fact that she’d been willing to share his affections had made him dizzy with relief, and filled with an overwhelming feeling of affection for her, though it had left him unsure and nervous about what to do about his new found freedom. Would
Unfortunately, Maes found that his relationship with
He was like a man torn and never whole. Maes loved and wanted them both, needed them both. The strength of his feelings had blindsided him and taken him by surprise, and now he couldn’t get himself to pull away from something he wasn’t sure he wanted to escape. And yet, he knew it would end.
Eventually it would have to end.
There was no commitment from
For now though, Maes continued on. Perhaps it would be better for him to let go of this now, to return their friendship to what it was, but he couldn’t. What had started out as attraction and strong feelings of attachment had bloomed into an intense feeling of love and perhaps a slight feeling of obsession.
With a heavy sigh, Maes picked the coat up off the couch and pulled it on, trying not to think of this situation that might be best described as a mix of wonderful and cruel, unusual punishment. It didn’t work though, and as he buttoned up his coat, Maes wondered if
He glanced at the phone, tempted to call, then shook his head at himself, knowing that they’d already talked for a long time the night before. Maes didn’t want to come off too strong, didn’t want to seem like a needy, teenage girl with her first boyfriend. And, yet, if he was honest with himself—which he usually was—that was exactly how he felt. It was exciting to be with
He loved his wife, enjoyed being with her, felt happy and comfortable with his relationship with her. It was something stable and solid in his life, and he couldn’t imagine himself without it. But
And they tore him apart.
Sighing, Maes turned off the light and headed out the door—thinking of