ZaKai Stonewall (zakai_) wrote,
ZaKai Stonewall
zakai_

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Object of Gossip - Chapter 8

Title: Object of Gossip
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG13
Type: Yaoi, Humor
Warnings: Language
Pairings: Eventual Roy/Ed
Summary: Roy and Ed are sleeping together, and everyone knows it! Everyone… except for Roy and Ed.

Chapter Listing Here

 

 

Object of Gossip

 

8

 

Guilty Conscience

 


“The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.”  -Mahatma Gandhi-


Roy looked up from his book when Hawkeye set a couple of folders down on his desk.  She was giving him an amused grin, but refrained from speaking.  Roy scowled.  She didn’t need to say anything.  That look on her face made it very clear what she was thinking.

 

“I’m just trying to finish the book since I’m near the end,” he said defensively.

 

“Mmhmm,” she said, pressing her lips together as if to hide an obvious smile.

 

“Oh, shut up...” he muttered sullenly.

 

“I didn’t say anything,” she said with laughter in her tone.  When he simply looked at her, she said, “How many have you read?”

 

“This is my third,” he admitted, then told her which three he’d read.

 

“Those are good ones, but not very spicy.  Try ‘Chains of Fate’ next,” she suggested, then started toward the door, but stopped and looked back before saying, “Just don’t read it in public.”  With a grin, she turned and left the office.  Roy scowled at the door.  She was obviously having a good time with this situation, and he felt a little like he was the butt of some sort of private joke.

 

Glad that she was gone so that he could get back to his book, Roy had barely looked back down at the page, when Havoc, Breda, and Falman coming into his office.

 

“Yeees?” he asked in an effort to hide his irritation at being interrupted as Falman closed the door.

 

“We’re tired of the rumors,” Havoc said bluntly.  “Since we work under you, we figure that we should be told if you’re really dating Ed or not.”  The other two men nodded their heads in agreement.

 

Roy raised an eyebrow.  “I thought I’d already said this really wasn’t your business.  Since when does you working under me mean that you get to know about my love life?”

 

“Because, it affects us,” Breda said.

 

Roy sat back in his chair and gave them a small smile.  “So I should tell you up front so you can be the one who everyone goes to for the latest gossip on this?”

 

“Exactly,” Havoc said.

 

“What do you think?  Do you think I’m secretly dating my barely-of-age subordinate who happens to be fourteen years my junior?” Roy asked, feeling amused.  This was actually a lot more fun than he would have imagined it could be.

 

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Havoc said.  “I’ve never known you to date a guy before either, but there’s always a first time for everything.”

 

Roy looked from Havoc to Breda to Falman, trying to make it seem as if he was considering this, then said, “But Ed already told you we weren’t dating, right?  Why don’t you just take his word on it?”

 

“Because you keep avoiding giving a straight answer,” Falman said.  And that was exactly what Roy had wanted him to say.

 

Shrugging helplessly, Roy said, “Alright...  We’re not dating.”

 

“Seriously?” Breda said, sounding a little surprised.

 

“Would I lie to you?” Roy asked evasively.

 

“Yes,” all three of them said together.

 

A small grin pulled at Roy’s lips and he said, “Well, you asked for a straight answer, and I’ve given it to you.  If you’re not satisfied, then I can’t really help you.  Now, if you don’t mind, I have some work to get done, as I’m sure the three of you do as well.” 

 

He gave them a pointed look as if to say that he was well aware of their slacking off and extremely displeased with it, and felt satisfied as they all slunk off quicker than a cat dunked in water.

 

With that out of the way, Roy leaned back in his chair and started reading again.  Hawkeye had already been in this morning and his subordinates should be off working.  He didn’t have any meetings until that afternoon, which meant that no one should bother him for the next three hours at least.

 

He had only read about a page when there was a timid knock on the door.  “For the love of...” he muttered irritably, then threw the book into a drawer and picked up a folder to at least look busy.  “Come in,” he said loudly, letting the full force of his displeasure ring through his voice.

 

The door opened slowly and Alphonse stuck his head in.  “If this is a bad time...” he began nervously.

 

Yes, it’s a bad time.  I have twenty more pages to go and I just want to see how this stupid story ends! he thought in frustration, but he smoothed away all traces of annoyance and beckoned for the boy to come in.

 

“Not at all,” Roy said as pleasantly as he could. 

 

Alphonse shut the door, walked to the desk, and said, “I talked to brother.”

 

“Mmhmm, and?” Roy asked, sure he knew where this was going and already trying to plan out how he wanted this conversation to go.

 

“He says that there isn’t anything going on between the two of you...”  Al trailed off and stared silently at Roy as if he wanted that statement confirmed.

 

Roy looked down at the folder for a count of thirty seconds, making it seem as if he were deep in thought, then said slowly, “Well, then if that’s what he says, I guess you should believe him.”  He didn’t look up, but fiddled with his pen as if he were uncomfortable or troubled.

 

After a moment, Al said, “I just don’t know what to believe.  I know you said that I should talk to him about it, and I did, but I’d really feel better if you just told me what was going on.”

 

Roy set the pen down with a sigh, looked up at the boy, and said, “Ed says we’re not dating right?”

 

“Right.”

 

Roy glanced away, letting the silence drag for a little longer than normal, then said, “Then... we’re not dating...”  He analyzed how he’d said that and was pleased that his tone had held just the right amount of disappointed melancholy he’d wanted it to have.

 

“Colonel, I can’t help but think that both you and brother are hiding something from me,” Al said in a slow, suspicious voice.

 

Roy looked back to Alphonse, debated on whether to say more or not, then decided to let the conversation end here.  After all, he was hiding something from Al, just not what Al thought he was.

 

“Everyone is allowed their secrets,” Roy said, then added, “I’m sorry, but I have a lot of work to get done.”

 

“Of course.  I’m sorry for taking your time,” Al said.  He turned to leave, and Roy let him get to the door before he called after him.

 

“Alphonse?”

 

“Yes?” he said, turning to look at Roy.

 

“You know,” Roy began, then paused.  The ‘good’ boyfriend would probably try to do or say something to his boyfriend’s life a little bit easier.  “Perhaps you should just give Ed some time to sort some things out.  I’m sure he’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

 

There was a creaking noise as Alphonse looked away, then, “I know.  I’m trying.  I already told him that I care about him no matter what, but he just gets angry.”  Al paused, then said sadly, “I think something else is bothering him a lot because he seems a little withdrawn, but I don’t know what that is either...  I just wish he’d talk to me.”

 

After Al finished, Roy was surprised to find that he felt a little guilty now.  Ed had seemed a little glum this morning after they’d passed those cute girls on their way to work as well, and that really wasn’t like him.  The possibility that this situation might annoy Ed had never bothered Roy in the slightest because Ed often got annoyed and upset, and it was amusing to see him rage.  But the idea that this might actually be making Ed sad or depressed in some way made Roy feel bad about having started it and guilty as well.

 

“Colonel?” Al said, breaking him from his thoughts.

 

Roy shook his head.  “It’s nothing,” he said.  “I’m sure Ed will be fine; don’t worry.”

 

“Maybe,” Al said noncommittally.  “Thanks for talking with me.”

 

“Not a problem at all.  Come back any time,” Roy invited.  Al nodded, then left without another word.

 

Roy sat back in his chair and stared at the closed door of his office.  Perhaps he should just stop this before it got out of hand.  It had been fun and extremely amusing; and he loved having the women look at him, talk about him, and even approach him, but he hadn’t meant for it to actually hurt anyone. 

 

Even if he stopped trying to get people to believe he and Ed were dating, they’d still have to deal with the attention for a while.  But if they just left it alone, then the hype would eventually fade as long as neither he nor Ed didn’t make too big of a deal out of it.

 

He reached into his drawer and pulled out the book.  If he wasn’t going to play the game anymore, then there was no need to finish this book or read any of the others Hawkeye had brought.  Roy stared at it for a while, debating, then opened it and started reading again.  Really, he couldn’t help himself.  It was calling to him...  And besides, he was near the end anyway.  It wouldn’t hurt to read the rest of it, and as much as Roy hated to admit it, he really did want to know how the story was going to end. 

 

Roy thought he still might even read the one Hawkeye had suggested and a few others just for kicks.  It wasn’t that he was interested in reading about men, really he wasn’t... but he was curious about Hawkeye’s definition of ‘spicy’.  Roy was sure it would just be more about men being unrealistic, but he might luck out and the book might at least have a good plot like the one he was reading now.

 

0-0-0-0

 

Roy had originally thought to talk to Ed about their situation and his change of heart that day, but by the time he’d finished his book, had lunch, and gone to all his meetings, he’d found that it was well past time to go home, and he’d have to actually hunt Ed down if he wanted to talk to him.  Knowing that Ed wasn’t always the easiest person to find, Roy decided he’d just leave it until tomorrow.  It would give him more time to figure out how to back out of this gracefully. 

 

Normally, Roy would get dinner in the cafeteria, but he felt an unexplainable pull to pick up something to go and bring his dinner home so he could start on another book.  The last one he’d finished had actually been pretty good—better than he’d thought it would be—and it had been a while since he’d done much in the way of light reading, or reading at all just for the fun of it. 

 

So he’d picked up some food on his way home, flirting shamelessly with the girls who worked at the food place.  They had asked him all kinds of questions about him and Ed, but he’d stoically told them that he and Ed weren’t really an item, but that he’d be more than happy to go out with any of them instead.  They’d laughed and flirted back, though one girl had seemed extremely offended that Roy would ever even dream of going out with anyone besides Ed, and had even gotten irritated at the other girls for encouraging him to be ‘unfaithful’ to his ‘soul mate’.  They had all immediately nodded and told him in a teasingly somber tone that he shouldn’t be flirting with anyone besides Ed.

 

Roy had been a little surprised at the vehemence in the girl’s tone, and in the fact that the other girls had agreed with her so quickly.  Even if he and Ed really were dating, did it really matter if he flirted with other girls or not?  It wasn’t as if it was really their business anyway.  And where had she gotten the idea that they were ‘soul mates’? 

 

He’d thought of trying to tell them again that he and Ed really weren’t dating, but he knew it would do no good and would make them believe it even more if he insisted, so he just smiled and said that he’d keep that in mind, before taking his food and leaving.  It had been a strange experience, but he didn’t think on it long.  There probably weren’t many girls like that anyway, so it wasn’t like he’d ever have to deal with it again.

 

Once he got home, it hadn’t taken him long to find the book in question and settle down on his couch with the book in one hand and his dinner at his fingertips.  Roy had already decided that if it wasn’t interesting by the third chapter then he’d stop reading.  He wasn’t about to force himself to read a book like the first one he’d read, but he needn’t have worried because he was completely hooked by the end of chapter one, and had forgotten about his dinner—which was only half eaten—by chapter four.

 

Chapter six ended up being the first of the ‘spicy’ chapters, and at the end of the chapter he set the book aside and stared wide-eyed up at the ceiling with his hand—now wet from his most recent activities—still in his pants as he tried to get his thoughts together.

 

He’d just gotten himself off to two men getting it on...  Roy felt stunned, a little confused, and an unexplained craving to read more of what he’d just read.  Wild thoughts bounced around in his mind, trying to rationalize what had just happened.  He wasn’t gay, wasn’t even bi.  Why would he be aroused by something like that?  He shouldn’t be aroused by it, but he had been—and had been enough to do get himself off to it as well.

 

Roy grabbed some unused paper napkins left over from dinner and cleaned himself off before changing his clothes and getting ready for bed.  Returning to the couch, Roy sat down and stared down at the book not sure what he wanted to do more—throw it in a fire, or keep reading until the sun came up.

 

He eventually decided on neither.  Instead, he cleaned up what was left of his dinner, brought the book to his bedroom, and put it on his nightstand.  It was late, and he’d spent almost the whole of the previous night reading.  Tonight he’d just go to sleep and worry about all of this tomorrow.

 

It was a good idea in theory, but that wasn’t exactly how it turned out.  Instead he spent several hours lying in the dark, trying to convince himself that it was probably just a newly discovered kink, and there was no way he could have any real interest in men.  But as Roy finally drifted into sleep some time later, his mind melded his worries about his sexuality in with his situation with Ed, and he dreamed about him, Ed, and the last chapter of the book he’d just read.

Tags: object of gossip, oog, stories
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