ZaKai Stonewall (zakai_) wrote,
ZaKai Stonewall

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Oneshot: The Numerical Value of PI

Title: The Numerical Value of PI
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: Light NC17
Pairing: Ed/Roy...? Yeah, I’ll go with Ed/Roy on this one, but I’d say it’s almost equal to Roy/Ed. Sort of in the middle...
Type: PWPish, light smut, Oneshot, light humor
Warnings: Hot off the press so if there are mistakes… eh… sorry?
Word Count: 1,643
Summary: Ed and Roy celebrate Pi Day.

A/N: As promised!  New Pi fic!  Happy Pi Day, and enjoy the geeky smut!



The Numerical Value of Pi



Roy chuckled as he looked down at his bare chest and watched Ed use his finger to slather some cherry pie filling onto his chest.  Ed looked like a kid finger painting, as he grinned mischievously and licked his finger before dunking it again into the pie. 


When Ed touched him again, Roy let out a laugh and said, “Wouldn’t you rather eat the pie than use me as a ‘human chalk board’?


“I’m eating it,” Ed said distractedly and continued drawing equations on Roy with the sticky goo.  When Roy laughed again, Ed grunted and growled, “Hold still!  You made me mess up.”


“I can’t help it,” Roy said with a grin.  “You know I’m ticklish.”  Leaning forward, Ed licked the cherry filling off Roy’s skin in the area he’d messed up, then tried again only to stop and scowl when Roy started laughing again.


“You’re fucking up my formula,” Ed said.


Grinning, Roy leaned over and dipped his finger into the lemon meringue pie and spread it unceremoniously across Ed’s cheek.  “You’re taking this way too seriously,” he said when Ed frowned at him, then sat up and licked the yellow cream from Ed’s face.  “Now that is tasty.”


Suddenly, Roy found himself pushed back onto his back.  “Don’t sit up, it’s going to run and ruin it!” Ed snapped.


“If you think I’m going to lie here all day while you write equations all over my naked body, you’re wrong,” Roy said.


“It’s how I show I care,” Ed said with light humor, moving toward the cherry pie again.


“Oh no you don’t,” Roy said teasingly, pulling the pie away.  “Unless you plan on doing something else with that pie filling on my body, then I absolutely refuse to cooperate.”


Ed rolled his eyes and stuck his finger in his mouth to suck off the cherry pie filling.  He looked at Roy and made a small moaning sound, to which Roy grinned widely.  “That’s what I’m talking about,” he said. 


Pulling his finger from his mouth, Ed said, “You just want to have sex.”


“Of course!  Don’t you?” Roy asked jovially.


“Sure, but...  You bought all these pies.  I mean... and it’s Pi Day.  We should do something besides have sex,” Ed pointed out. 


“So we’ll have sex while eating them,” Roy said, picking up a piece of apple pie and holding it out for Ed to take a bite.  Ed did, slowly and sensually, just the way Roy liked it and his grin widened.


“Yeah, but...” Ed said around the food in his mouth, then stopped as he chewed a little more then swallowed.  “But we should do stuff actually related to PI.”


“Eating pie doesn’t count?” Roy asked with a raised eyebrow and wiggled the pie piece at Ed, hoping he’d take another bite.  Ed glanced at the apple pie slice, then looked around at the pies lying on the floor near them.  Finally he leaned over and dug his fingers into a key lime pie, then turned toward Roy. 


“How about this,” he said, a little mischievous now.  “I’ll spread this over your cock, and I’ll lick and suck it off you as long as you continue to list the numerical value of pi.”  Roy paused, his smile frozen on his face as he thought.  He wasn’t exactly sure how many digits he’d be able to list.  Probably not enough to keep Ed’s mouth on him until he came...


“Well?” Ed asked with an expectant grin, then slowly ran his tongue up his wrist where the green, lime pie filling was starting to drip.  He gave another long moan, and Roy scowled.  Ed knew Roy loved to hear Ed moaning and panting!


“How long do I get between each number?” he asked.


Ed frowned.  “You’re just trying to see how long you can stall.”


“Yes.  Pretty much,” Roy said with a smile.


Shaking his head, Ed looked down and started slathering the thick pie filling over Roy’s arousal.  “You have no shame, do you?”


“How much time?” Roy pressed, ignoring the jibe.


“Hmmm...” Ed stopped and cocked his head to one side, thinking.  “How about... five seconds—no, wait... three point one-four seconds.”  He grinned widely.


“Point one-four seconds?” Roy asked skeptically.


“I can do it,” Ed said, licking his fingers with none of the erotic overtones Roy would have preferred.


“I liked five seconds better,” Roy pouted.


Ed shrugged.  “Too bad you’re not making the rules, huh?”


Knowing he wasn’t going to change Ed’s mind on this, Roy laid back and said, “Three.”  Immediately, Ed leaned in and started slowly licking the pie filling off him.  “One... four... one... five... nine... two... six... fiiiive...” Roy choked a little as Ed wrapped his lips around the head of Roy’s penis and lightly moved them up and down.


Then Ed stopped and Roy realized he’d stopped reciting.  It took him a moment to remember where he was then, “Uh... threeeee... fiiiiive...”  Ed was now taking Roy completely into his mouth and moving his tongue in this way that felt sooooo amazing...  “Eight... nine... seven...” he whimpered as Ed began making small moaning sounds while bobbing his head.


Roy stopped, enjoying what was happening and felt frustrated to have it stop so suddenly.  Where had he left off?  “Eh... seven?” he said, not sure.  Ed lifted his head and licked his lips.


“You said that one,” Ed said.


“Eight... no wait, nine!” Roy said, grasping for numbers.  He knew he’d left off somewhere around there.  Ed grinned and leaned down and started licking the pie filling off the lower part of Roy’s shaft.


“Three... two... eight... four...”  Roy glanced down and watched as Ed dragged his tongue up his shaft before taking him into his mouth again.  Swallowing, Roy said, “Uh... six... eh...”  He stopped and thought for a moment, then continued, “Two... six... four...”


Ed was doing that thing with his tongue again and Roy reached down and lightly took a hold of Ed’s head.  “Three...” he breathed.  “Three...”  Roy bucked his hips, licked his lips—which were starting to go dry from his heavy breaths—and said, “Uh... nnnnine?”


That was apparently the wrong answer because Ed stopped and started to lift his head.  “No wait!” Roy exclaimed, not wanting Ed to take his mouth off of him.  “Four!”  Ed snorted and started to lift his head again.


Roy wracked his brain for a moment.  He always forgot the number that came after the double threes!  Then he suddenly remembered the trick he’d come up with to remember.  Turn one of the threes around and put them together and they looked like a...


EIGHT!” he shouted, pushing Ed’s head back down.  Roy heard Ed chuckle, but he ignored it and continued.  “Three... two... seven... nine... five... uh... zero... uh... eh... shit... uh… TWO!”


Roy was sweating now, both with the effort of trying to remember as many digits as he could, but also from what Ed was doing to him.  He didn’t want to think about the numerical value of pi.  He wanted to concentrate on cuming in Ed’s mouth!


“Eight... eight...” he whimpered, remembering this double number easily because it was the number he always forgot after the double threes.  Ed wrapped his real hand around Roy’s shaft and was pumping now as he moved his lips over the head of Roy’s cock and he found that the numbers just weren’t coming!


Ed stopped, and Roy guessed, “Tttthreeee...?”  Ed started to lift his head and Roy clenched his teeth together as he thought.  “Six... no... nine...”  He felt Ed’s lips leave him and he said, “Four?”


“Lucky guess!” Ed said, and Roy moaned when he felt the warmth of Ed’s lips back on him.


Roy thought for a moment and found that he just couldn’t remember anymore numbers.  “One?” he guessed.  When Ed kept going, Roy ventured another guess, “Three?”  That one was wrong and Ed stopped immediately.


“Dammit, Ed, I can’t remember...” Roy finally admitted.  “I’m so close.  Can’t you just...” 


Ed lifted his head and said, “The deal was that you’d only get it as long as you kept reciting.”  Roy gave a small involuntary whimper.  It just wasn’t fair!  Why did Ed have to be so literal?!  “Buuuut,” Ed said, with a grin.  “I could finish you off, but you owe me...”


“Okay, yes,” Roy instantly agreed.


“Anything?” Ed asked gleefully.  “I can do whatever I want to you after this?”


“Anything!  Just...”  Roy motioned with his hand and Ed complied.  It didn’t take long.  Roy was already so close, and now that he didn’t have to think about something other than being pleasured, he gripped tightly to Ed’s head and bucked his hips while Ed moved his hand and lips. 


Ed swallowed his cum with as much eagerness as he’d shown the pie filling, then lifted his head and wiped his mouth.  “Happy now?”


“Oh yeah...” Roy murmured, eyes closed and a smile on his face.




Roy was able to enjoy the after bliss for only a few moments before he felt Ed’s finger touching his stomach.  Opening his eyes, Roy saw that Ed was once again painting formulas on his body with pie filling.  Not sexy.  Not sexy at all.  But he had promised Ed could do anything; and, besides, they still had the rest of the day left.  Roy was sure they would make the most of it no matter what.


Tags: one shot, oneshot, stories
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