Type: Humor, General
Word Count: 970
Summary: When Ed admits his feelings, Roy returns them, just... not in the way Ed expected.
A/N: okay pleeeeease do not take this too seriously. I got the idea while talking to hikaru_9</lj>about cliches in fan fiction. I know not everyone is going to be as amused by this little ficclet as I am, but that's okay XD
Acknowledgement and Rejection
Riza stepped into Colonel Mustang’s office and quietly crossed the room to where she set a couple of folders on his desk.
“From the general,” she said respectfully.
He looked up at her, then motioned to a few thick books on the corner of his desk. “Would you mind putting those in the closet for me before you leave for the night?” It wasn’t a demand and he didn’t sound as though he expected her to do it, so she nodded and picked them up. As she did so, Riza noticed a few pastel colored envelopes and cards in his trash and sighed before heading to the large walk-in closet.
Roy Mustang was popular with the ladies. He knew how to flirt and he enjoyed their company, but his work came first, no matter what. It wasn’t uncommon for him to receive at least one letter of admiration a week, to which he would send a very polite and sweet note in return that didn’t really sound quite like the rejection that it was. They loved him all the more for his ‘sensitivity’.
Riza knew that he just didn’t want to chance offending someone he might need in the future.
With a heavy sigh that turned into a yawn, she moved farther back into the closet and slid the books into their rightful places. As she turned around, Riza heard the door to the colonel’s office open, then close.
“Fullmetal,” the colonel’s voice said. “A little late for you to visit, isn’t it?” Riza nodded to that. Ed never came this late in the day. “Where’s your brother?” the colonel asked after a moment.
“He’s... at the library...” Ed said, sounding nervous. Riza frowned at that. It was even rarer that Ed came to see the colonel alone.
“Uh huh,” the colonel said, then she heard the creak of his chair as he sat back in it. She could see him in her mind with arms folded and studying Ed curiously. “So, what do you want?”
“I... uh... well...” The nervous quality in the boy’s tone becoming even more noticeable. “I just... kinda... thought... if you weren’t doing anything for dinner... maybe you and me could...”
Riza quietly stepped to the closet door and peeked out. Ed was standing there, looking down at his shoes, and his face was flaming red. He shifted uneasily, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.
She looked at the colonel and saw the mischievous smile spread on his face. Riza knew what was coming and she wished there was a way to stop it before it happened, but revealing her presence now would only cause further embarrassment to Ed, so she stayed hidden.
The smile was forced off of the colonel’s face, then he leaned forward, giving Ed the most serious look he was capable of, and said, “Dinner? Just you and me?”
“Um, yeah...” Ed stuttered.
“But I thought you didn’t like me,” the colonel said.
Ed shrugged a little shrug, then mumbled, “I lied... I really do like you. I mean... I really like you a lot...”
The colonel stood up and walked around his desk, then knelt before the boy and said, “You really like me? Like, really like me?” He looked most sincere, but Riza knew an act when she saw one. When Ed nodded, the colonel reached over and took Ed into his arms. “I really like you too!” he said passionately. To this, the boy’s eyes widened and his face flooded with an even deeper red than before.
“Let’s forget dinner,” the colonel said, putting a hand under Ed’s jacket and pulling on his shirt. “Why don’t we just go straight to my place so that we can show our love for each other? We’ve already wasted so much time holding our feelings inside.”
Riza put a hand over her eyes and rubbed them, embarrassed to be a witness to this.
“I... uh... um... eh...” Ed was stuttering now; and, when Riza looked back, she could see that he was struggling to get away. “Maybe I was too hasty. I mean... maybe we should take it slow. Maybe... get dinner some other time!” He sounded panicked as the colonel was moving him over to the couch.
“Or we could just do it here, Edward. Is it okay if I call you Edward?”
“No!” Ed yelped. He pushed hard and finally broke away.
“But I thought you liked me,” the colonel said, now sounding heartbroken and rejected.
“I did—do! I just... maybe I’m not ready for this,” Ed gasped, inching backward toward the door. “I...”
“But... Ed...” the colonel said, sounding a little pathetic now.
“I... just forget I said anything!” Ed shouted as he turned and dashed out of the office.
There was silence for a time as the door closed slowly behind him, and then the colonel, who was still on his knees, bent over and rested his forehead on the floor. There was another second of silence before she saw his body start to shake, then he sat back on his rear and laughed loudly.
Feeling disgusted, Riza walked out of the closet and looked down at him as he put a hand to his stomach and continued to laugh. “Did you see that?” he wheezed. “He... I...” the colonel said, but he couldn’t continue because his laughing was overtaking his ability to talk.
“You’re horrible,” she said flatly. “You know that right?” Riza heard something between his laughter that sounded like ‘you have no sense of humor’, but she couldn’t be sure. Rolling her eyes, Riza wondered how someone who was usually so serious and respectable in most things could turn into such an immature asshole in other things. With a shake of her head, she turned and left the office..