Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rated for: Sexual Situations, Mild Violence, Language
Type: Gen, Suspense, Psychological, Dark, Divergence (story ignores series ending and movie), slight AU.
Pairings: Focus on Roy and Ed, but no actual “pairings” (see A/N in first chapter).
Warnings: Yaoi and Het sexual situations
Summary: When Ed shows up unexpectedly after a two year disappearance, Roy tries to help him and learns that there is a darker meaning to the words 'equivalent exchange'.
Chapter Listing Here
Riza Hawkeye stopped the car in front of the apartment building and looked around mildly before turning the car off. With the engine silent, she almost felt that the day was a peaceful one. It had snowed the night before and everything looked so white and clean. It was early, so people had yet to leave their home to track footprints in the snow and make a muck of the roads with their cars.
Yes, the day really was almost peaceful.
Pulling on the latch, Riza opened the door and let herself out of the car. She shivered slightly at the change in temperature and rubbed at her arms without thinking before closing the car door behind her. The sound echoed slightly around her in the empty neighborhood and she shivered again, though this time it was more from the eerie feeling that had tingled through her, than from anything else.
She looked up at the large apartment building and frowned. The colonel had been cleared of all charges concerning the prostitute’s death, and they had released him last night. She hadn’t been there; she hadn’t known... hadn’t found out until this morning. But then, she had a feeling that was the way her commanding officer had wanted it.
Riza buried her hands deep in her heavy military overcoat and started slowly toward the building. She tried to concentrate on the sound her shoes made when they crushed the new snow under her boots, but it didn’t help. Her mind was racing with the memories of the previous week and she couldn’t seem to put them all in order.
The man in charge, the one conducting the investigation, had been thrilled to have such a high profile military officer and state alchemist as his suspect. Riza clearly remembered the night she’d first met the man. It had been the night the woman had died...
Riza probably wouldn’t have found out about the incident until the next day if the colonel hadn’t called her. She’d been asleep when the phone rang, but all tiredness had vanished when she’d heard his voice.
She stopped in front of the door to the apartment building and shivered again.
His voice had been so...
He’d explained in quiet tones that he’d been arrested and that he probably wouldn’t be into work the next day, so if she could inform General Hakuro he would appreciate it greatly. When she’d tried to ask questions, he’d simply said that he needed to go and that was it.
Breathing in deeply, Riza felt the frigid morning air burn her lungs with cold before letting her breath out in a puff of mistiness that vanished almost immediately before reaching out and opening the door to the old apartment building.
Not one to let such a thing daunt her, Riza had gotten dressed and headed over to the police station. That was where she’d met the investigator—a large, balding man with a hard disposition. He’d taken a small amount of time to talk to her concerning the case; though most likely it was to let her know that the police, not the military, were going to handle it.
He’d been arrogant and so sure that the colonel was guilty that she’d disliked him immediately. Riza knew his kind. He was the type to convict someone even if the person was innocent. But there had been nothing she could do.
Riza rubbed her hands together as she walked down the hall toward the colonel’s door. The hallway walls of the apartment building were old and faded, and the center of the thin carpet along the floor was worn from years of foot traffic; but, despite that, it wasn’t in a great state of disrepair.
She sighed as the memories from the previous week wouldn’t leave her mind. She’d tried to visit the colonel, but they’d informed her that he didn’t want visitors. So, she’d waited and bided her time until yesterday when she’d gotten the call. It had been the investigator...
It had only been a week, but the once overconfident investigator had looked ragged when she’d gone to see him. Ragged and tired. He’d asked her warily if she’d been to see the colonel and if he’d said anything to her. She hadn’t responded, only stared at him. He would know if she’d seen or talked to him... To that, he’d sighed and said quietly that the colonel had spoken little since the night they brought him in... And what little he had spoken...
Riza had asked if he thought Roy Mustang was guilty and the look he’d given her... it had been indescribable and a small tingle of nervous fear had traveled up her spine. The man had been quiet for a long time before whispering in a disturbed tone, ‘Something happened that night. I don’t know what it was, and truthfully, I’m not sure I want to know. He may have done it, he may not have. I don’t know, but I’m releasing him.”
When she reached the colonel’s door, Riza stopped and frowned deeply. Leaning against the wall near the door was something large, thin, and flat. Cautiously, she stepped forward to examine it. The side facing her was a light gray, and screws were poking out at the corners. She bent over a little and grabbed onto the side, pulling it slightly away from the wall to look on the other side.
It was a mirror.
More precisely it looked like a bathroom mirror.
The sound of a door opening met her ears and she looked up to see the colonel walk out of the apartment, carrying a smaller mirror. He was dressed in old, tan sweats and a waist-length, heavy-looking brown coat. She could see the bottom of a thick, forest-green sweatshirt peaking out from below the bottom of the coat and at the wrists. She blinked at the mismatched colors, but didn’t have time to dwell on them.
Colonel Mustang stopped when he saw her, but didn’t say anything. His eyes, dark and bloodshot, held a reserved look in them, as if unsure what to do next. Seeing him look so hesitant was enough to give her a moment’s pause.
Finally, Riza straightened. “Sir...” she said slowly, uncertain what to say now that she was here. Should she ask him what he was doing with the mirrors? Should she ask him about what happened in the jail? Should she ask about the prostitute? None of it was her business, not really... Besides, even if he told her, did she really want to know?
“Lieutenant,” Roy murmured in a greeting that sounded forced. The skin under his eyes was dark, and his hair was greasy and uncombed. Except for a slight pinkness to his nose and ears, his face was pale and washed-out looking; making her afraid that perhaps he’d caught something from someone in the jail.
They stood there, each quietly studying the other in an uncomfortable silence until Riza finally said, “I heard that they’d released you...” She stopped, feeling awkward at the way he was looking at her.
By now, she was sure all of Central knew that he’d been released. The papers had gone wild over the ‘scandalous murder’ until the military had stepped in and forced them to keep the story out of the headlines. They were now only allowed to print the barest of details on the story, but the damage had already been done.
His eyes were locked onto hers and it was as if he was searching them for something... Unable to handle his gaze, Riza looked down at the mirror he held and asked, “What are you doing?” That seemed to be the safest question out of all the ones she had. Instead of answering, the colonel lifted the mirror in his hands and turned it so that the reflective side was facing her.
“Tell me, Lieutenant,” he said in a quiet whisper. “What do you see?”
She frowned and her reflection’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. What kind of a question was that? What was he getting at? Was this a coded question, or was it a way to divert her from getting a real answer to what had happened?
Riza pressed her lips together and let a deep breath out of her nose as she turned her attention to the mirror. She saw herself in the glass—a tall woman wearing a heavy, military-issue coat. Her skin, free from makeup, was a light creamy color; yet her cheeks, nose, and ears were pink from the cold. Her blonde hair was pulled up tightly, and her bangs were brushed neatly to one side and slightly over one of her brown eyes.
Her expression, and the way she held herself, gave off an air of stern authority. When she was at work that was the impression Riza liked to give of herself. She was actually a rather kind-hearted person, but she knew that wasn’t a trait that was valued in the military, and if she was going to continue to climb the ranks with Colonel Mustang, then she needed to be what the military wanted.
“I see myself,” she said in answer to his question.
“Anything else?” he asked as if she was missing something. Riza gave him a sidelong glance before slowly shaking her head. She wasn’t sure what the colonel was wanting from her, and this was starting to get a little eerie.
“Good...” the colonel said, then reached down and picked up the other mirror before walking past her. She turned and watched him head down the hall toward the door she’d just come in, then slip outside.
Suddenly, Riza realized how tense her body had been and she forced herself to relax. This was much more uncomfortable than she’d thought it would be... Standing alone in the hallway, Riza was wondering what to do next when a cold draft hit the back of her neck.
She turned, expecting to see another door to the outside on the other side of the hall, but there was none. Instead, Riza noted that the colonel’s door was open, but... She shivered. The air was much too cold to be coming from his apartment, unless he had a window open...
Rubbing her hand on the back of her neck to give it some warmth, Riza moved to the open doorway and looked inside. The apartment was dark—all the windows and blinds shut tightly. However, it was definitely his apartment that the cold air was coming from.
Riza frowned in thought. It suddenly dawned on her that although the colonel’s clothes had been mismatched color-wise, a theme had been present—the fact that everything he’d been wearing was made to protect from the cold. It could have been that he’d dressed that way in preparation for going outside, but perhaps he was wearing it because of the temperature in his apartment. But, why would he keep his apartment so cold? He wasn’t so cheap that he’d voluntarily go without heat in his apartment, was he? She didn’t think so. Not after all the fuss he’d made over the heat in his office not working.
“Would you like to come in?”
Riza jumped slightly and took in a sharp, surprised breath. Pressing her hand against her chest, she turned and stared at Colonel Mustang who was now standing beside her. He’d been so quiet that she hadn’t even heard him...
“I’m sorry... what?” she asked, trying to calm her racing heart.
“Would you like to come inside?” he offered quietly.
Riza glanced back into the unnaturally cold and dark apartment, and felt a chill go through her that had nothing to do with the temperature. It just didn’t look like the type of place she wanted to be alone with a man who had been accused of both rape and murder... It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her commanding officer, it was just...
She turned her gaze to Mustang and stared silently at him for a moment—studying him and trying to decide what to do. She did think that the colonel was innocent, but there was a part of her that was still unsure. How could she know for certain that some sort of foul play hadn’t been involved in each of the cases? The colonel insisted that he hadn’t raped that woman, and Riza did believe that to an extent because she’d known of their affair, but she had no idea what could have happened with the prostitute. Not only that, but the way he was acting... It was a bit strange, and she couldn’t help but feel a little nervous.
“I see...” the colonel murmured softly when she didn’t say anything.
“Sir, I just—” she started, trying to explain her hesitance in a way that didn’t make her seem as distrustful as she felt.
“Maybe you should go,” he suggested. His voice was still soft, but it held a slight flatness to it that made her feel a little guilty. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “It might be best if you didn’t come to my home again. I’m sure you were... concerned... about me, but it’s more appropriate for us to associate in a work environment.”
Her shoulders fell as she realized that she’d lost her chance to talk to him about what happened. “Yes, sir...” she said in a slightly dejected tone.
He nodded slightly, then said, “If you’ll excuse me...?”
She stepped away from the doorway as he entered the apartment and closed the door. The sound of it shutting echoed slightly in the empty hallway, sending another small shiver through her. She suddenly felt an irrational need to be gone from this place—a desire to run away and never see the colonel again.
Turning, Riza quickly walked down the hall and herself out of the building. Now that she was outside and there was no chance of the colonel seeing her, she wanted to run to her car, but the sidewalk was too slick for that. Carefully trudging through the snow, Riza made her way to the car, then stopped.
An icy breeze silently ruffled her blonde hair, making it tickle against her forehead as she glanced around the still empty neighborhood. Riza turned and stared up at the old apartment building, then let her eyes travel down the exterior. To the far left of the building, a dumpster was parked, almost out of the way, but still visible enough. It was almost filled, and she could easily see the two mirrors lying face up on the trash bags.
Riza frowned, then took a step toward the dumpster. The mirrors should have reflected the gray sky and perhaps even the tops of the buildings, but all she could see in them from this distance was a light, whitish-yellow. Parts of the reflective glass would go dark for a moment, and perhaps even move across the surface of the mirror, but then the dark spots were gone, leaving only yellow again. She took another step forward; and, when she blinked, the yellowish color was gone, and the dull gray of the sky was reflecting off the mirror.
Riza's frown deepened and shook her head before turning to get into the car. I’m just being paranoid after the colonel’s strange behavior, she thought as she opened the door, slipped inside, and started the car.
She gave a worried glance at the building again, remembering what the investigator had said, and how he’d looked. Riza supposed she could finally understand, at least a little bit. If the colonel had acted this strangely when they’d tried to interrogate him... Pressing her lips together, Riza gave one last sigh, pulled away from the curb, and drove away.
Ed sighed heavily and glanced around the dimly lit town square. It was just after sundown, yet there was still enough light in the sky to make out the silhouette of the squat buildings around him. The town was a rather well kempt place just a few miles west of Central city and he supposed it would be a good place to stay for the night.
He stuffed his hands deep inside the pockets of his pants and wiggled his fingers around, but the only thing there was air, lint, and his pocket watch. He didn’t have any money for a room. Not that he hadn’t slept out on the street often enough, but the cold weather was starting to really sink into him and his body was beginning to show signs of wearing down. A night or two with a warm bed could do him a lot of good...
The sound of raucous laughter sounded from one of the buildings close to him as someone walked through the door and out into the cold. Curious, Ed made his way toward the building and when he was close enough he could see that it was a tavern.
Ed fingered the watch carefully, wondering if he could put a room and a hot meal on the state’s tab. He certainly didn’t look like a state alchemist with how shabby his clothes had become, but he had the watch; that might count for something.
Taking a deep breath, Ed quickly ascended the wooden steps up to the veranda and let himself inside. Warm air hit his face instantly, making his skin prickle slightly, and he squinted a little at brightness of the room that contrasted so sharply with the darkening world outside. The smells of roast beef filled his nostrils, making his stomach growl and his mouth salivate heavily.
Blinking to get used to the light, Ed looked around and let his gaze settle on a group of men who were gathered around one table toward the back. Suddenly they all began shouting and hooting as one of the men who’d been sitting at the table got up and angrily stormed away. Ed could hear the sounds of coins clinking as the men began to quiet and then the sound of someone calling for another person to enter the game.
“Something we can do you for, stranger?” a female voice asked, and Ed glanced away from the men to see a pretty young woman with long, reddish hair smiling up at him. The apron she wore accentuated the figure her semi-loose work clothing only hinted at and he couldn’t keep his eyes from moving up and down her body before his gaze finally came to rest on her face. He hadn’t been with anyone for a couple of days and it was really beginning to weigh him down.
She silently raised a thin eyebrow as if she could see the desire he felt painted across his face. Perhaps she could. She was pretty enough that Ed figured she must be used to men desiring her, but it wasn’t really her he desired. He simply hated that lonely, empty feeling that gnawed at him all the time, and being with someone, anyone for even a night helped him get through another day.
“I need a room for the night and something to eat,” he murmured before pulling out his watch. “It will all go on the state’s tab.”
Her eyes flickered slightly at the sight of the watch, and this time she eyed him up and down with new appreciation. A small, mischievous smile pulled at her lips and she said quietly, “All of the rooms are taken, but I’m sure I can find you somewhere to sleep if you’re willing to wait until I get off work.”
The corner of Ed’s lips quirked up and he breathed, “If you could find me somewhere to sleep, then I’m sure I could find a way to repay you...” And he would too. He’d been with enough people that he knew how to please anyone—whether they were female or male.
She gave him a toothy smile, then led him to a table. As he sat, she said, “I’ll get you something to eat.” She paused, then asked, “Would you like something to drink as well?”
He thought on this for a moment, then nodded slowly before saying, “Something hard. I don’t care what.” To this, she nodded and hurried away to the kitchen.
Sighing, Ed looked down at the watch and turned it over in his hands thoughtfully. He remembered scratching Mustang’s name and address into the watch after sneaking into his room and taking it from the drawer. He couldn’t—or rather, he wouldn’t—stay with Mustang; that much he’d known. Mustang had done something that no one else had done. He’d refused him. He hadn’t taken advantage of him when he could have. For some reason, that had mattered...
Despite the frustrated disappointment he’d felt over being rejected, Ed had felt amazed and awed at it too. He’d felt... safe. Yet, he’d felt that pull to be with someone; and if Mustang wouldn’t physically get close to him, then he’d go find someone who would. Truthfully, Ed had wanted to stay, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before he forgot why he was there and wandered off in search of... well, whatever it was that he was searching for... He hadn’t been so clear minded that he knew exactly what he was searching for—even now he wasn’t—but he’d known that he was searching, and he’d known that he would forget even being at Mustang’s place.
So, he’d taken the watch and scratched Mustang’s information on the back. Mustang was safe. He knew it, and he wanted to give himself a reminder to return. He had a feeling that Mustang could help him if only he could think of what he needed help with...
A glass was set down in front of him, breaking him away from his thoughts. He glanced up and saw the waitress—Tammie, by the name on her name tag—standing over him. She smiled and said, “I’ll be back with your food.”
Ed nodded and took a sip from his drink as he watched her wander off to another table near his and begin wiping it off. He eyed her lustfully as he nursed his drink. Her long, reddish hair was held high in a ponytail and it hung over her shoulder, lying slightly on her half-exposed breasts. She looked up and when she caught him staring at her, she winked seductively before heading back behind the bar. His breath quickened and he felt his cock twitch.
“She’s not your type, Ed,” a voice said suddenly, and he turned to see a man sitting at the table across from him. The man’s black hair was combed back and one piece came forward over his glasses. He had a thin beard, but no mustache.
Ed blinked once, then again. The man looked vaguely familiar, but... Ed turned his head and eyed the man suspiciously. Was he real? He looked real, but Ed knew that didn’t always count for much. He was skeptical that the man was actually there because there had been no one there a moment before.
Suddenly it was as if something clicked in his head and all the doubts and suspicions vanished as if they hadn’t been there in the first place, which of course, to Ed’s mind they hadn’t...
“Hughes! What are you doing here?” It had been so long since he’d seen the man! He felt an itch at the back of his mind that told him to be careful, to not trust him, to keep a hold on what little reality he knew was true and not to slip back into the darkness, but it was no use. This was Hughes! There was no need to worry about him!
“Why do you think?” the man said, and Ed’s smile slipped slightly at the vague answer. Or maybe it wasn’t vague... maybe he was supposed to know why Hughes was here... Ed frantically searched his mind for the answer, but before he could say anything, Hughes pointed at Ed’s drink and said, “How’d you pay for that? Doesn’t look like you have any money.”
Ed glanced down at his ill-kept clothes, then gulped down the rest of the drink nervously. He could feel his mind slipping away, and the fact that he was still aware of it terrified him. Looking back at Hughes, Ed shrugged and looked around for the waitress. When he caught her eye, Ed lifted his glass slightly in silent askance for a refill.
She smiled at him and nodded before heading back behind the bar, grabbing a glass, and filling it. Picking up a plate of food, she started over with both the plate and the glass. Her hips swayed as she walked slowly toward him and all he could think of was how he wanted to drag her into a room, rip off all her clothes, and fuck her until she screamed.
It wasn’t just that he wanted to get off, though he did, and right now it wasn’t even that he needed someone close to him, which he desperately craved. Right now he wanted to escape the situation he was in; escape from Hughes, escape from the terrifying feeling that in an hour or even in a couple of minutes he could be oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong in the first place...
When she got close, the waitress—Tammie—grinned at him and said, “The state really takes good care of its alchemists, doesn’t it?”
“Of course,” he said lightly and touched the watch that was lying on the table. That’s right. That’s how he was paying for this...
Her grin widened; and, as she set the glass and plate on the table, Tammie leaned down and whispered, “I get off in about a half hour.” Before Ed could say anything, she stood up, winked at him, and hurried off.
He watched as her ass swayed slightly and sighed longingly. He felt a craving need inside of him that was so strong that if someone else had come up to him and offered to take him out back and fuck, he would have taken them up on it.
“Ah, so you’re mooching off the state,” Hughes said, breaking his train of thought. Ed glanced back over at the man and frowned. He’d forgotten he was there... Ed’s eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to remember what they’d been talking about. At least, he assumed they’d been talking...
“Why are you here?” Ed asked as he began eating his dinner. Had he already asked that question? Was Hughes supposed to be here?
Hughes grinned and glanced over at the waitress. “I still don’t think she’s your type,” he said, obviously ignoring Ed’s question.
Ed shrugged and took a drink from the glass. “She wants me to fuck her,” he said simply, yet inwardly he was desperately clinging to the only thing that made sense right now.
“Oh, and you’re just going to do it as a favor for her?” Hughes asked, amusement threading through his voice.
“Equivalent exchange,” Ed muttered and took a long pull from the glass.
“Indeed?” Hughes asked with a smirk.
Ed looked down at the watch, picked it up, and started playing with it. He couldn’t help feeling uneasy with this conversation. Something just wasn’t right... something about Hughes... something about everything... He turned over the watch and blinked when he saw what was scratched into the surface. What the hell was Roy Mustang’s name and address doing on the back of his watch?
“Ed,” a voice said, but he paid it no mind. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the back of the watch. This was important. He knew it was... “Ed,” the voice said again and he felt a small shiver go through him. How long had it been since he’d reported to Mustang? Ed couldn’t remember. Everything was so jumbled. Mustang would probably expect him to turn in something soon...
“Maybe I should go see him...” Ed murmured softly to himself.
“Ed,” the voice said, and now it was sounding none too friendly. Looking up, Ed saw a scowl on Hughes’s face, but it vanished almost immediately as the man said, “I think your lady friend is clocking out.”
Ed frowned and looked over to where Tammie was taking off her apron and talking to the man behind the bar. She had a purse hanging off of one shoulder and she did look like she was getting ready to go. He glanced at Hughes, then blinked before looking closer. He could have sworn there had been a glint of yellow in the man’s eyes, but it was gone now...
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Ed stuffed the watch in his pocket, then paused. There was something he’d been meaning to do, something important, but... “Did I just say something?” Ed asked Hughes, but the man simply shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.
Ed opened his mouth to say more, when a female voice caught his attention. “You ganna sit at that table all night, or would you like something warmer than what you’re drinking?” Ed turned his head and glanced at the waitress before grinning widely.
“I think I’ll opt for choice two,” he said, then looked at Hughes. “Be seein’ you.”
He returned his gaze back to Tammie who was giving him a confused look. “Who were you talking to?”
Ed froze and stared at her for a moment. A cold chill tingled through him as he slowly turned his head to look where Hughes had been sitting. There was no one there.
Ed dragged his tongue wetly along the girl’s stomach, making a long line of saliva along her skin. He could see it glistening in the soft glow of the candlelight, but it didn’t keep his attention for long as he reached her breasts.
Her nipples were hard and erect, and Ed slid his tongue over one of them before clamping his lips over it and sucking eagerly. She moaned, and he reached down and rubbed the fingers on his real hand over her wet cunt before sliding them up to finger her clit, making her gasp and squirm.
His groin throbbed with need and he decided that he’d had enough foreplay for the night. Releasing her nipple so that he could take in a deep breath, his eyes traveled past her head and over the carpet. His gaze stopped on a pair of black military boots, and he blinked in confusion before sitting and letting his gaze travel up the blue uniform to settle on the face of Maes Hughes. His expression was serious, and his eyes flickered a pale yellow color in the candlelight.
Ed’s body tingled and his mouth went dry.
Ed blinked and looked again.
“It’s only the candle light...” he whispered to himself. He wasn’t sure exactly why he should feel so afraid; after all, shouldn’t he feel stranger about Hughes showing up while he was in the middle of trying to get laid?
Hughes stepped forward, and Ed felt the need to shrink back. He moved his legs over the carpet and stumbled over something beneath him. Ed suddenly felt a sense of panic. Something was beneath him?
He looked down and let out a yell when he saw that he was sitting on top of a very naked Maes Hughes. Ed scrambled to get away, but the man grabbed him, and flipped him easily onto his back before climbing on top of him.
“Hello, Ed,” Hughes said in a quite voice that gave off no emotion.
Ed shook his head frantically. “No! You’re dead!” he shouted, then choked on his own words as he realized it was true. Maes Hughes was dead, yet he’d just had a conversation with him at the bar, and he was sitting on top of him now...
No... this wasn’t Hughes at all... and he knew it... Ed’s body began to tremble and he tried to squirm away, but the older man held him still.
“You belong to me, Edward...” Hughes said in a soft and slightly dangerous voice. Ed’s eyes fixed on Hughes’s. The candle light was flickering in the man’s eyes, yet there was no shine on his glasses...
It was wrong.
It was all horribly wrong...
“Who are you?” Ed begged in a shaking voice. He knew the answer, it was somewhere in his mind, but he couldn’t find it, just like everything else. He knew enough to be afraid, though. Right now, he knew that he should be afraid, even if he didn’t know why. At least he had that much.
Hughes reached up and gently caressed Ed’s cheek. “Who do I look like to you?” he asked in a low tone.
Ed clenched his teeth together and tried to pull his arms free, but he couldn’t. Finally, he looked up at the man and said, “You are not Maes Hughes,” Ed spat angrily. The man on top of him scowled in displeasure, then raised his hand and brought it down quickly to backhand Ed hard across the face.
Tears of pain formed in his eyes and he sucked in air between his teeth making a hissing noise, then looked back Hughes. The man was staring intently at him in a way that made Ed think of a hungry wolf or a rabid dog... maybe a bit of both.
“We had a deal, Edward Elric, and you are trying to get out of it,” Hughes said in a low voice.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ed breathed, then tried to squirm desperately out of Hughes’s grip.
The man leaned in close and placed small kisses against his chest, then took one of Ed’s nipples roughly between his teeth and moved his tongue back and forth over it. Ed’s eyes widened and he made an “Ah!” sound of both pleasure and pain. In that moment, his mind went blank and he suddenly couldn’t remember why he was so angry. This felt so good, and he needed to be with someone. He was always so lonely...
What about Alphonse?
Ed glanced around, and panted, “Al... Al...?” He felt so confused. Where was he? Where was Al? Panic gripped him and he felt sick to his stomach. What was going on? Where was his brother?
“Edward...” he heard and looked up into Maes Hughes’s eyes. “Just give in... Stop fighting it...” Ed gaped, not sure exactly what to say about that. Give into what? What was he fighting? He just couldn’t remember...
He moaned in pleasure when Maes began to stroke his erection with long slow strokes. He whimpered with need, and reached out to pull the man close to him. He wanted to feel someone’s body next to his; he didn’t want to be alone...
Why am I alone? Ed thought vaguely to himself, then his body involuntarily stiffened as he realized who it was who was touching him. But then, he knew that! Didn’t he...? Shaking his head from side to side, Ed moaned out, “Nooooooo!” before pushing the man over onto his back.
Quickly taking the mounted position, Ed breathed out angrily, “Stop trying to fuck with me! You know the deal wasn’t fair!” What deal? he thought in confusion. Why had he said that? Why was he sitting naked on top of Hughes? Why was Hughes here at all? What the fuck was going on?!
Yet none of those questions made it past the primal fury he was feeling. In a rage, Ed fisted his automail hand and slammed it into the side of Hughes’s face. “You are not Hughes!” he shouted angrily, then grabbed the man around the throat and squeezed tightly; choking the air out of him.
Hughes pushed against Ed’s body, trying to free himself, but it was no use. Ed’s grip tightened and tears began to flow down his cheeks as he shouted, “You’re not him! You’re not! You’re not!” He tightened his grip and squeezed his thighs together to avoid being thrown off the bucking body beneath him. Tears of anger and betrayal trickled unbidden down his face. Hughes would not do this! This was wrong! It was all wrong!
Suddenly, he realized there was no more struggling from the man beneath him, then he lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He sobbed in angry frustration. Why was this happening to him? What was going on? Where was Al? Why wasn’t he here?
Opening his eyes, Ed gasped sharply as he looked, not into the face of Maes Hughes, but into the shocked, battered, and very dead face of the waitress. In disbelief he shook his head and scrambled off her body. His stomach clenched and Ed thought he was going to throw up.
“No...” he cried, his body shaking violently. What had he done? How could he possibly have mistaken her for Hughes? How could any of this have happened? Feeling a numb, tingling sensation flood through his body, Ed pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head into them.
He felt so afraid and confused. What was wrong with him? Why were these things happening to him? Why couldn’t he remember! There was something important that he had to remember, but he just couldn’t!
Suddenly, there was a small touch on his shoulder. His body flinched in shock and he flailed backward only to look up into the waitress’s worried eyes. He blinked in confusion. He was sitting on the floor by the table he’d been at, and she was standing beside him looking down at him with anxious concern.
“Are you alright?” she asked quietly, her voice heavy with fear.
“I...” He glanced around the bar and saw that some of the people were staring at him. He could feel the weight of their judgmental thoughts, and he quickly scrambled to his feet before saying, “I’m fine...” He backed away from her with his hands out to wave her away. “I’m fine, really... just... perfectly fine...” When he was far enough away from her, Ed turned around and raced out into the cold, snowy night.