ZaKai Stonewall (zakai_) wrote,
ZaKai Stonewall

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Misspoken - Chapter 15

Title: Misspoken

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Rating: PG13

Type: Humor, General, Yaoi

Warnings: Language

Summary: During an argument, Ed says something that makes Roy wonder what his subordinate really thinks of him.

Chapter Listing Here










Roy came to awareness slowly as the sound of the rain against the windows penetrated his dreams.  Then the feeling of the hard floor, the blanket around his body, and his arm draped over a person who was nestled close to his body.  He moved his hand to brush lightly against the compact body, then the hard metal of automail.


Cracking his eyes open slightly, he looked at the low, and almost dead, fire, then burrowed a little more under the covers.  The room was uncomfortably chilly now that the fire was almost out, but under the blankets it was deliciously warm and comfortable.


He glanced around and took in the empty bowl and beer bottles—just the two of them as he always made it a rule to never drink more than two beers ahead of anyone else—the dirty plates, the deck of cards, the alchemy books, pencils and papers filled with arrays...  Roy yawned; and, after a shiver passed through his body, pulled the blankets up almost over their heads, then pressed himself against Ed as if there was a way to get even closer.


His eyes came to rest on Ed’s head, his long blond hair almost touching Roy’s face.  How many times had he gone to bed with a woman he barely knew, only to wake up in this exact position?  More times than Roy could count, that was for sure; but, this time was different.  This time, Roy hadn’t gotten laid; yet, despite that, he’d had a great time.


Ed had seemed both horrified and excited when Roy had suggested they share the same ‘bed’ so that they’d be warmer.  Roy had briefly considered throwing out random sexual innuendos to see if Ed would cum in his pants from being so excited.  The thought had amused him for a few minutes, but he’d ultimately thrown it away.  Now wasn’t the time to be a jerk, and nothing would be gained by humiliating Ed to that extent.


There had been more strained talk, until Roy had finally suggested playing cards—something he’d remembered Ed saying he liked to do.  Roy knew quite a few games—though a lot of them were drinking games he’d learned in the early days of his military career—and he taught some to Ed—minus the alcohol—who began to become more outgoing and less self-conscious.  Ed had taught Roy a slew of games.  He hadn’t realized there were so many card games; and, even then, Ed said that there were some that he couldn’t remember all the rules to, but that Al knew them.


They’d talked of light subjects while they played; Ed’s new fascination with animation, Roy’s messy house, Ed’s interest in soccer and how he really did feel bad about what happened the other day, Roy’s favorite camping spots in Eastern Amestris and how he never had time to go anymore, and so on.


The conversation had eventually headed into the realm of alchemy.  Roy had been wary of the subject at first, but quickly found himself debating unproven theories and touting some of his own.  That had ultimately led to the two of them giving up cards and scribbling arrays and mathematical formulas on paper and arguing over details and speculating about possibilities.


It had been during that time that Ed had really shone.  His eyes and face lit up with excitement and obsession.  Up until that moment, Roy had never really understood just how much Ed loved the science.  He’d always thought it was something that the kid forced himself to study and improve at because he wanted to find a way to help his brother.  Of course, Roy knew that he’d been incredible with alchemy before he’d first laid eyes on Ed and Al—they both would have needed to be geniuses to pull off human transmutation and survive—but to see how much love Ed had for it...


Roy almost felt humbled and ashamed of himself for trying to change Ed the way he had.  Other interests were good, and perhaps Ed would do more if he wasn’t so weighed down with responsibilities, but the fact was that he truly enjoyed alchemy more than almost anything else...


While alchemy was something that Roy did enjoy, he looked at it like any other academic subject.  He studied it and researched it in his own time, but it wasn’t exactly something he did to relax or have fun.  Yet, Ed had made it fun last night; in fact, he was almost reminded of the sleepovers he used to have as a boy, though he didn’t know if he could ever admit that to Ed.


Ed wanted to be seen as a potential romance candidate, not as a friend; at least, that’s what Roy suspected.  Roy frowned at the blond hair in front of him.  And what did he feel for Ed?  Before this fluke of a date, Roy’s answer might have been somewhere around mild indifference mixed with a slight fondness.  Ed was certainly an attractive young man, yet there had been too many memories of Ed being a complete brat to counter the maturity Ed was really starting to show.


But now...? 


Now, he wasn’t sure.  He’d had a great time with Ed last night; and, truthfully, it was something he wouldn’t mind doing again.  It had been a long time since he’d had such a carefree night, but did he feel more than just fondness for Ed? 


Roy resisted the urge to feel Ed up to explore that line of thought.  If he did anything with Ed, it would need to be carefully thought out and planned—he didn’t want to do something that he’d regret later.  Besides, now that he was really faced with it, Roy wasn’t sure what he thought about being with someone of his own gender. 


He’d mostly blown it off in the pursuit of Ed, or chalked it up to plain curiosity, but if he was going to take that step...  Roy pressed his lips together and let out a slow breath.  He’d never had anything against Hawkeye or anyone else for who they liked—had really never thought about it at all—but now that it was something that involved him, it was different... 


Did he really want to explore that?  Did he want to explore it with Ed?  What if it turned out to be a passing curiosity...?  Well, then Hawkeye would probably blow his brains out for hurting Ed...  Probably not, but she would be sure to give him a lecture he’d never forget.


Roy moved his head closer to Ed, and his nose was so close to the kid’s neck that it almost touched the skin.  When he breathed in, he could smell Ed’s scent and he could instantly see Ed’s face in his mind.  There was no way he could tell Ed that he wasn’t interested without hurting him, and there was no way that he could try to understand what he wanted without confusing Ed—and most likely hurting him in the process—because Roy himself was confused.


He wondered if he was over-thinking everything.  In his younger days, Roy would have just gone ahead with it and dealt with the consequences later.  Growing old was making him far too responsible for his own liking...


Ed shifted under his arm, then grumbled a little before slipping out from under the covers and hurrying away.  A door closed further in the house and there was about five minutes of silence before he heard the muted sound of the toilet flushing, the tap being turned on, then of the door opening.


Finally, Ed came back into his line of vision, ready to get back under the covers, but stopped when he saw that Roy was awake.  A look of hesitancy filled Ed’s eyes and he fingered the bottom, and largest, blanket as he thought.


“Get back under the covers, Ed,” Roy said to forestall any strangeness between them.  “You let all the cold air in when you left, so you’re responsible for warming me back up.”


At that, Ed grinned and hurried back under the blankets; this time facing Roy.  “Did I wake you up?”


“No...” Roy said, glad for the deterrent from his thoughts.


“Good,” Ed said, sounding slightly uncomfortable.  “Just... had to take a piss...”


“I don’t need details,” Roy said, wondering if Ed had ejaculated here and ran to go clean himself up, or if he’d woken up with a hard on so bad that he’d felt the urge to go take care of it before Roy noticed.  Either way, he knew taking a leak wasn’t a five minute job.


Ah, the joys of being a teenager...


They laid there in silence for a time before Ed said, “I wonder if the phone is working now...”


“You can go check,” Roy said, but Ed shook his head saying that he would do it in a few minutes.


“It’s too cold,” Ed said, burrowing under the blankets a little more.  It was pretty chilly, but Roy wondered if part of it was that Ed wanted to stay near him.  Was he aware that this could be the only time they would lay like this together?  Was he afraid to let go of the moment?  Would it be better to just let Ed have his moment, or try to stop it now in an effort to avoid Ed getting too attached?


With a sigh, Roy put his arm around Ed and pulled him closer.  “It is cold, but we’ll have to get up eventually.”  He’d let Ed have this time to remember...


Hesitantly, Ed snaked his arm around Roy’s torso and rested his head near Roy’s chest.  He seemed content to just be there, so Roy simply held him and wondered what Ed could be thinking about; wondered if Ed’s thoughts held any of the same confused doubts that his did. 


They lay there for quite some time; the silence broken only by the pattering of the rain on the window.  Roy’s worries, doubts, and concerns assailed him, and he wondered why it had to be so complicated.  Why couldn’t it be simple?  Of course, he knew the answer to that. 


Where Ed was concerned, nothing was ever simple...

Tags: misspoken, stories
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