ZaKai Stonewall (zakai_) wrote,
ZaKai Stonewall

The More I Learn to Care for You - Chapter 5

Title: The More I learn to Care for You - Roy's POV
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Main Characters: Roy Mustang, Ed Elric
Rating: R
Warnings: Language, sex
Summary: Roy takes Ed out on New Year's Eve, but it doesn't go as he'd planned... [RoyEd]

A/N: This story is being co-written with kikiko_haru I am writing Roy’s POV and she’s writing Ed’s. All of Ed’s dialogue in what I post belongs to her, but everything else is mine.

kikiko_haru is writing a companion story to this (with the same name only with ‘Ed’s POV’ in the title) where all of Roy’s dialogue belongs to me, and the rest is hers.

The More I Learn to Care for You – Roy’s POV

Chapter Five


Sighing in exhaustion, Roy pressed his back against the door and shut it. He glanced around his apartment wearily before pushing away from the door and walked across the front room. As he trudged up the stairs, he thought idly that tonight, of all nights, he was not happy to have a two-floor apartment. Sometimes it was nice, but tonight it made him want to just sleep on the couch.

He walked into his bedroom as he shrugged off his long black trench coat. Throwing the coat on the floor near the wall, Roy dumped his keys and wallet onto the dresser and flopped down on his bed.

What a bad day... he thought as he stared wearily at the ceiling. His day had been filled with tons of paperwork, and boring meetings. After Ed’s little outburst in his office, Roy hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything. His mind had constantly gone back to how Ed had acted, not only in his office, but also how he’d been acting the past few weeks.

Roy reached up and rubbed at his eyes before sitting up and pulling his boots off. A part of him felt hurt at Ed’s anger, but he quickly turned that into anger. It was easier that way. He unbuttoned his uniform jacket and shirt, and hung them up before pulling off his pants and hanging those up as well.

Perhaps Ed really wasn’t interested in him anymore, and Roy supposed he couldn’t blame the teen. After all, Ed was still young and Roy was... well... not young... Pulling out a pair of pajama pants, Roy slipped them on and walked to the bathroom. He peered into the mirror and frowned deeply.

Not young... that was a laugh. He’d be thirty-two this year. It wasn’t exactly old but... Feeling a little disgusted with himself, Roy threw on a pajama top and made his way downstairs to find something for dinner. He was tired, but he was also hungry since he hadn’t eaten anything in the past six hours, and what he had eaten before that wasn’t very much.

Instead of going directly to the fridge, Roy opened a cupboard, grabbed a small glass, then pulled out a square bottle with a black label. The bottle was rather new and only a little of the liquid inside was gone. Sighing, Roy poured a small amount into the glass and took a sip before putting the bottle away.

He generally had a small drink after work, though sometimes he had a double if it had been a real shitty day. Roy frowned down at the liquid and took another sip before opening the refrigerator. There wasn’t really anything in there that looked very appetizing, despite his being hungry. He pulled out block of cheese, sliced off a couple of pieces and put it back. He munched on the cheese and sipped at his drink as thoughts raced through his mind.

Normally, Roy didn’t get into relationships. They were just too much of a bother, but Ed had been different. He looked down at his empty glass, then pulled the bottle out and poured himself a bit more; today definitely qualified as a shitty day.

Roy leaned against the counter and popped another piece of cheese into his mouth. Oh yes, Ed had been different. Roy had always enjoyed a challenge and the teen had definitely been that. He hadn’t wanted Ed because he liked him. On the contrary, Roy had originally pursued him out of a morbid sense of irritation at his young subordinate.

Sighing as he finished his second serving of cheese, Roy grabbed the bottle and headed upstairs. In the beginning, Roy had finally decided that he’d had enough of Ed’s attitude and wanted to be the one to bring the kid down. Ed certainly was good looking and well built so he’d decided to go for it. Of course, Ed was different than all his other dates. Ed hated him while the others had actually wanted to date him.

Roy sat on his bed, poured himself a little more and set the bottle on the nightstand. He realized that he’d never be able to fuck the kid if he didn’t befriend him. Well, unless he wanted to just try taking him, but for one thing, Roy wasn’t really into that sort of thing. He did have some standards. For another, Ed could probably fight him off. Of course, there was the law to think about. You just didn’t go around forcing people to have sex with you.

He smirked at his now empty glass and automatically filled it again. He’d just have one more...

So he’d worked hard to befriend the kid. He’d been met with suspicion at first, then with a slow and grudging acceptance. Befriending Ed was only the first step. He also had to ease the teen into the idea that the two of them having sex would be an okay and enjoyable thing to do. Not an easy thing to do with a teenager whose only experience with sex was with his hand. Ed didn’t even want to talk about ‘stuff like that’. It had been too embarrassing for the teen.

And then there was the summer evening when he’d invited Ed over for a small barbecue; they’d had hamburgers and roasted corn on the cob... The evening had been a perfect one. It had been warm out, yet the evening had been a cool one for summer. There had been chirping crickets and Ed had wanted to spar out on the grass behind the apartment complex.

It had been quite an embarrassing experience for Roy given that he wasn’t one for hand to hand combat, but Ed had seemed to enjoy giving his commanding officer lessons. It had been the first time since Roy had started trying to get Ed in bed, that he hadn’t thought about how he could use the situation to his advantage. He’d enjoyed the lessons just as much as Ed. They’d had a great time...

“A really great time...” Roy whispered down at the almost half empty bottle, then unsteadily poured himself a bit more.

They’d gone inside sweaty and laughing and, ironically, things had simply happened from there. They’d done a bit more sparing in the front room which led to them both being on the floor. They’d laughed and started wrestling, and at that moment Roy had stepped over the line. He’d looked down at the teen who he’d pinned to the floor and thought that Ed had to be one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen with blond strands of hair coming messily out of the teen’s braid, and the innocent expression in his eyes. It had prompted him to throw all caution to the wind. He’d leaned down and gently kissed Ed on the lips.

He took a sip and smiled. They’d had amazing sex that night. Despite Ed’s lack of experience, it had been truly incredible. He’d never let his feelings enter into his bedroom life and until then, he’d never known what he was missing.

Roy downed what was left in his glass and laid down on the bed. He set the empty glass on the nightstand and let the numb tingly feeling in his body and brain take a hold of him. Of course, all had not been perfect after that. In fact, it had been a little rough. The morning after, Roy had felt a little freaked out. He’d only been pursuing Ed for sex; only to bring the kid down off his self-made pedestal. But as he’d laid there and watched the younger alchemist sleep, Roy had realized that he never wanted to let Ed get away from him. He’d put so much time and energy into getting to know the kid and now...

“And now...” Roy whispered up at the ceiling.

And now, still, he didn’t want to let Ed go. He didn’t want Ed to let him go... and yet he was completely confused as to what to do about their relationship. Recently it had been so...

“Shitty...” he muttered thickly.

Perhaps that’s what he got for dating a child... Roy frowned at the thought. Ed was no child. He was just about eighteen... He sighed as he thought of what had happened earlier that day. Ed had been so angry and cold to him...

He glanced at the phone and without thinking picked it up and clumsily dialed the dorm where Ed was staying. When someone picked up, Roy asked for Ed and waited a few minutes for the teen to come from his room to the communal phone.

He heard a sigh, then “Yeah?”

Roy frowned. Ed sounded tired... He vaguely wondered what time it was, but didn’t dwell on it. “Ed?” he asked; best to be sure.

“Ah... yeah? Roy? Are you... drunk?” Ed asked sounding surprised. Roy’s eyes flitted to the half empty bottle. Maybe he was... but he’d never gotten drunk around Ed before. Best to just not let him know.

“No...” he lied. “I’ve just had a little bit, but I’m not drunk.”

“Okay...” Ed said hesitantly. “If you say so...” Roy nodded to himself. Best if Ed didn’t know.

“I just wanted to talk to you...” Roy said, then let his voice trail off. That sounded so... needy. He didn’t want to sound needy, he just... just what?

“Okay... so... um... here I am...” Ed said, confusion laced through his voice.

Roy smiled sadly. It was true. Ed was there and Roy was here. Not how he wanted it. He’d much rather have Ed here with him. He’d much rather be holding him and touching him and hearing him say... “I just wanted to hear your voice...” Roy whispered quietly.

“What’s that?” Ed asked. “I didn’t make that out.”

Roy frowned. Had he said that out loud? “It’s... it’s nothing... You know... you have such a nice voice.” He did. Really he did.

“Thanks,” Ed said. “Yours ain’t so bad either when you’re not yelling at me.”

At that, Roy chuckled. When he was yelling at Ed? Usually it was the other way around. “Even when you’re yelling, I think you have a nice voice... but it’s better when you’re not yelling.” Well, that much is obvious... he thought to himself. He was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable with this conversation because he thought perhaps he wasn’t making any sense, but he didn’t want to get off the phone; instead he shifted and took the lid off the bottle. “I guess that’s why I wanted to hear your voice tonight...” He lifted the bottle to pour himself more but he was having a hard time seeing straight and it clinked loudly against the glass. One more glass might help...

“Uh... Roy?” Ed said sounding slightly nervous.

Roy pulled the phone away for a minute and downed the alcohol before murmuring, “Hm...” He was feeling really tired and he wondered how long he’d be able to stay on the phone.

“Don’t you lik–never mind... I mean... well... are you seeing – fuck!” Ed stammered, then finally settled on a deflated, “What are you doing?”

Roy closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning. He was starting to feel a little sick to his stomach. “Listening to your voice...” he answered. “I miss you.” He paused for a moment, then said, “You’ve been so distant lately... and I’m not sure...” What am I saying? Roy wondered vaguely. It was as if whatever was coming out of his mouth was just bits and pieces of thoughts that didn’t make any sense.

“I’m distant! What about you, bastard! You’ve been giving me the fucking cold shoulder since New Years! What the fuck!” Ed yelled and Roy winced as a flash of pain raced through his head at Ed’s yelling. He could hear Ed breathing hard into the phone and he supposed he should be arguing the point, but he just couldn’t.

Instead he simply said the truth, something he would have kept back if he had been sober. “You were supposed to ask me out... remember? I’ve been waiting... I thought the no sex thing would remind you... but I guess not.” He felt a sharp pain in his chest at that. It really hurt thinking that he really wasn’t that important to his young lover. Tears threatened and sleep seemed about ready to overtake him.

Instead of continuing, Roy said, “It doesn’t matter, Ed.” Really, it didn’t... nothing mattered... “Just... never mind.” He could feel the darkness press into him and he murmured, “I think I’m going to go to bed now. I’m not feeling very good.” That was an understatement. With the emotional pain he was feeling, the nausea in his stomach and the pain in his head, Roy just wanted to let himself pass out.

He reached over and set the receiver down and started to lose consciousness. From somewhere in the darkness a phone rang, but after a moment, Roy was too far gone to pay it any attention.


Wakefulness came in the form of a deafening buzzing noise that caused Roy’s head to ache painfully. His eyes widened and he fumbled around trying to silence his alarm clock. When nothing seemed to work, he finally settled on ripping the power cord from the device and throwing it across the room where it slammed against the wall. Roy closed his eyes, before lying back down.


He was so sick that he thought he was going to die. His head was killing him. It seemed as if the silence in the room was too loud. Despite the fact that the blinds were closed, the light from the window seemed like direct sunlight and it seeped through his closed eyelids. Grabbing his pillow, Roy pressed it over his head. It helped a little, but the sound of the fabric from the pillow case rubbing against his face was much too loud for him to tolerate.

Suddenly both the light and the headache were overpowered by the urgent nausea in his stomach. He quickly got out of bed and staggered to the bathroom where he fell to his knees, grabbed the sides of the toilet, and emptied his stomach.

Again and again he retched until there was nothing left. This left his body with a weak, tingly feeling and his head felt like it was going to explode any minute. He stared dully into the contaminated water for several moments before pushing himself up and pressing the handle down.

Lurching over to the sink, Roy turned on the water, winced slightly at the sound, then rinsed out his mouth. He held onto the counter, swaying slightly as a feeling of lightheadedness swept over him. When it passed, he stumbled over to the small linen closet, grabbed a blanket, and staggered back into his room.

Walking unsteadily to the window, Roy braved the bright light of the day that was shining through the closed blinds and draped a blanket over the bar above the window to block out more light. It wasn’t perfect, but it made the room quite dim and it helped immensely.

Lying back on his bed, Roy glanced at the half empty bottle of whisky before draping an arm over his eyes. What the hell had he been thinking last night? He rarely got drunk; he much preferred to have control over himself. The last time he’d drunk so much was when Hughes had been killed...

Roy rubbed at his eyes. He felt terrible, but he had work... He supposed he could just not go in today... He glanced at the phone and quickly made the decision before dialing. When no one picked up in General Hakuro’s office, Roy dialed a different number.

There were a couple of rings then, “Division 352. Lieutenant Havoc speaking.”

Roy winced and pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment, before croaking, “Lieutenant, I’m not coming in today. Do me a favor and put a note on the general’s desk, would you?”

“Sure, boss. You sound like crap. You get that bug that’s been going around?”

Roy wanted to tell Havoc to speak quietly, but he’d rather not let the whole world he’d been stupid last night and drank too much. “Maybe,” he said noncommittally.

“Well, rest up.”

After assuring the man that he would, Roy set the receiver down and snuggled into his covers and fell back asleep.


Roy’s eyes cracked open when he heard an insistent knocking on his front door. The sound seemed to reverberate through his head and he groaned at the pain. Forcing himself out of his bed, Roy stumbled down the stairs and unlocked the door.

“Good morning, sir.”

Roy squinted and waved Lieutenant Hawkeye inside before quickly shutting the door. He blinked at her and said, “Lieutenant?”

“I heard you were sick and I thought I’d come down here to see if there was anything you needed,” she said with a hint of concern in her voice.

Right, Roy thought sarcastically. Of course you only came out of the goodness of your heart. You’d never come to see if I was faking it or not...

He leaned against the wall and shook his head. This only made him feel dizzy and even more nauseated. “Thanks for the thought, but I just need rest.”

She nodded and put her hand on the doorknob. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?” she asked, this time in genuine concern, Roy simply waved a hand. If he shook his head again, he’d probably sick up all over her boots.

“Well, I hope you feel better soon.”

He nodded slightly and watched her leave before staggering up the stairs. Crawling slowly under the covers, Roy closed his eyes and was asleep again after a few minutes.


Roy’s eyes snapped open when he heard the sound of knocking at his front door. Letting out his breath in exasperation, he rolled out of bed and lurched down the stairs yet again. Two unannounced visitors in one day... It was as if fate were punishing him for being an idiot. There was silence for a moment, then a loud banging that made Roy wince.

“Roy, open up, dammit! I know you’re in there!”

Roy stopped and frowned at the door. Ed was exactly what his head needed at the moment... he mused sarcastically. He toyed with the idea of not opening the door. After all, Ed had been rather pissy lately, and he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with the teen’s loud and angry shouting.

But he did want to see Ed, and that made him feel like a stupid teenager. He could see the blond anytime, yet he wanted to see him enough to be willing to deal with him even when he was sick.

Grabbing the doorknob, Roy opened the door and looked blearily at Ed before squeezing his eyes shut. Putting a finger to his lips, Roy moved aside so that Ed could come in.

He heard a snort from the younger alchemist before, “Why are you telling me to be quiet? It’s not like you have anyone over.” Roy blinked at him as Ed closed the door and saw that he was carrying a small cup and a muffin. “Here, I don’t know if you feel like it, but I got coffee and a muffin.” Following Ed into the kitchen, Roy made a hushing sound. Each syllable made him want to scream in agony.

Roy glanced at the muffin and even though he couldn’t smell it, just the thought made him want to sick up again. “Very thoughtful...” he whispered and leaned against the wall. He was slightly regretting letting Ed in. The teen’s loud voice and stomping boots made his head ache and his body was screaming at him to go back to bed.

“What’s wrong with you? Did you catch the flu?” Ed asked, not making any effort to lower his voice. The teen frowned and set the cup and muffin on the counter. Turning around, Ed hoisted himself up and sat on the counter next to the food, hands and elbows on his thighs. Normally, Roy would feel irritated at this, counters were for food not for sitting... but right now he felt too sick to care.

Glancing at the coffee, then again at Ed, Roy stepped forward, picked up the cup and took a sip. It tasted like shit, but he worked hard to keep his face neutral. It was likely that the coffee tasted so bad because of his own sense of taste at the moment, but he was determined not to tell Ed he didn’t like the coffee. He didn’t want to hurt Ed’s feelings...

“Thanks,” he whispered, then gave Ed a small smile in an effort to convey the fact that he really did appreciate the thought. At that, Ed gave a small smile back. Roy swallowed hard and, hoping he wouldn’t throw up again, he said quietly, “I’m going back to bed.” Roy turned around and began staggering away.

“Well, wait!” Ed yelled and Roy squeezed his eyes shut at the pain. “Are you kicking me out!”

Turning around, Roy said, “I’m not kicking you out; I just need to lie down... You don’t have to stay in the kitchen... just... just whisper...” With that said, Roy turned around and started up the stairs.

When he finally got back to his room, Roy sat heavily on the bed and pushed the bottle and glass aside to make room for the cup before lying down. It felt so good to lie down... He closed his eyes and welcomed the cool feeling of the sheets and of the dim room itself. There was silence for a moment before the teen, who had followed him up, said in a low voice, “Why were you drinking last night? Something happen?”

Roy could hear the soft footfalls come toward him and he opened his eyes. Why had he been drinking so much? He remembered coming home, and how exhausted he’d been. He remembered thinking about Ed, and slicing himself some cheese and pouring himself a drink, then two, then...

He glanced at Ed. The last thing he could remember thinking of was Ed, but his memory was a bit fuzzy after the third drink. He vaguely remembered coming upstairs, but... “Ed...” he whispered. “I don’t know. I don’t really remember. I remember the first couple of drinks; I usually have at least one at the end of the day, two if it’s been a bad day. After that, I don’t remember.”

“Hmm...” Ed hummed not looking at him. “Um... Roy?” Ed finally said hesitantly. “Do you...” The teen sighed before running his hand through his bangs. “Can I lay down with you?”

What kind of a question is that? Roy wondered. Of course Ed could lay with him. What Roy wanted most was to be able to touch him and feel him... “I would like that,” he whispered.

With a half smile, Ed sat on the bed, took his shoes and jacket off, then scooted over to snuggled into Roy’s arms and shoulder. “I really missed this...” Ed murmured into Roy’s throat. “Why are you being so mean to me lately?”

A small bit of irritation flitted through him at that. He hadn’t done anything to Ed. What could he possibly be talking about? “Me?” he muttered. “Who is it who has been yelling and stomping around?” He tightened his grip on Ed, but it wasn’t much given how weak he felt.

“Yeah, but why are you all, like... I don’t know... weird all of a sudden; pushing me away and shit. I don’t get it. What’d I do?” Roy felt guilt bite at his heart when he heard Ed’s voice crack a little.

Rubbing Ed’s back, Roy said quietly, “I...” He shook his head, trying to come up with something that sounded reasonable. “I wasn’t...” He kissed Ed’s forehead, then lightly rested his chin there. “I was waiting for you to pursue me, to ask me out, like we’d talked about.” He gave a small laugh at how ridiculous it sounded out loud. “But it just never happened. I thought maybe you decided it was too much trouble, or maybe if you weren’t getting any sex then it wasn’t worth your time. I didn’t mean for you to feel pushed away...” Roy trailed off. He’d never really thought about how Ed might be perceiving things.

“Shithead...” Ed mumbled. “I didn’t think that you’d stop wanting to be around me, I just thought that it’d all be the same ‘cept for the sex... You really fucked with my mind, you know that?” Ed said as he slipped a hand under Roy’s pajama top and started rubbing his back before burrowing into Roy’s neck.

“I never stopped wanting to be around you,” Roy said, feeling a little appalled at the ridiculous notion. “The longer I didn’t have you, the more I wanted you...” He sighed and a small moan slipped out at the touches on his sensitive skin. If he wasn’t so hung over, he’d grab the teen and start fucking his brains out. Ed’s words repeated in his mind and he said, “At lest I got to fuck with something that was you...”

“Phft! Can you, like, not be a pervert for two minutes, please?” Ed said with a chuckle. “So... I did try to plan a date... the other day, that’s what I was working on when you surprised me.” Ed’s hand lowered and Roy felt his body respond. Dammit... He couldn’t deal with this right now...

Roy was silent for a moment, remembering what had happened the day before, then he said, “That was a lot of paper to plan a date.” He followed this with another involuntary moan. Couldn’t Ed see that he was sick? Why the hell was he doing this to him? It wasn’t as if he didn’t want it, because he did, but that was the point! He’d said no sex until the date, and he hated going back on what he said, even when he knew it would be for the best. Damn his pride... Maybe that’s why Ed was doing this... Roy felt like Ed was trying to take control and it was slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time he was so sick that he was at a point that he didn’t really care.

“You’re a complicated guy,” Ed said and snuggled closer. Nudging Roy’s chin with his nose, Ed slipped his tongue out to lick Roy’s neck right beneath his ear.

“You know...” Roy said, feeling what little self control he possessed wither under Ed’s touching and kissing. “This isn’t fair... You’re trying to take advantage of me while I’m sick. I haven’t even gotten my date yet...” Roy couldn’t help feeling like a whiny child, and instead of moving away like he normally might, he kneaded his fingers against Ed’s back, wanting him. Wanting him very bad.

Ed moved under the touch and said, “I’m a teenager. A very horny teenager. Give me a break! I don’t want to stop. If you want to make me, go ahead.” With that said, Ed took Roy’s earlobe in his mouth and ran his tongue across it.

Roy moaned. This was just too much... “I don’t think I could stop you if I wanted to, but, Ed... I really don’t feel well... I don’t know how much I’d be able to contribute.”

“Damn, and I’m ‘bout ready to burst. Just jerk me off, please. I can’t take this,” Ed said, pressing his lower body close to Roy so that he could feel Ed’s erection. “I’ll do you after if you want me to. It’s not like that’s really sex, right?”

Roy shook his head and instantly regretted it when a sharp pain knifed into his skull. “It just depends on how you look at it...” He paused, then trying not to put too much thought into it, reached down to fumble with Ed’s belt. He wanted this in the worst way and didn’t have the will power to stop. When the belt stubbornly refused to unbuckle, Roy made a sound of exasperation and pulled his hand away. “Take your belt and pants off,” Roy commanded quietly.

Grinning like an idiot, Ed sat up and quickly undid the belt. The teen made a soft groaning sound and said, “Sex is intercourse; there’s no intercourse here...” Ed trailed off and pulled his pants off before tossing them across the room. He pulled off his shirt, then started at Roy’s clothes.

Roy smirked inside. “Intercourse is intercourse, Ed,” he explained watching Ed work. “Sex can be different things. Sex can be intercourse, it can be anal, oral, solo... It can be a noun or a verb. It can just refer to giving into those urges and making yourself cum. If you only limit your definition of sex to intercourse, you lose a lot...” He trailed off as a shiver ran through him due to Ed relieving him of his clothes. “So, you see, it really depends...” Roy reached out and lightly touched Ed’s skin. “A hand job is just sex in the loosest form of the word...”

“Shut up,” Ed said, pressing his lips hard against Roy’s, and moving his hands down to pull down the pajama pants.

Breathing heavily, Roy murmured around Ed’s lips, “This seems like a lot for non-sex.” He put one of his hands on Ed’s back and another one on the teen’s chest.

“Well you,” Ed started and gasped when Roy’s fingers caught slightly on his nipples. “Made me wait so fucking long... fuck yeah!” Ed straddled Roy’s pelvis and bent down to nip at his neck.

“It’s not like you didn’t have your hand, Ed...” Roy moaned. “Dammit... that feels so good...” He reached back and pulled the hair tie from Ed’s hair. He wanted to see the golden strands framing Ed’s face, and he wanted to feel them brush against his skin when Ed’s head was close. Trying to undo the braid with one hand, Roy reached down to feel Ed’s ass with the other.

After all his effort, Ed sat up and shook his hair out, making Roy smile. “I like it better when it’s you. It’s always better when it’s you. I fucking love it when you touch me,” Ed said licking his lips and slowly rolling his hips so that his erection rubbed against Roy’s stomach.

Roy let his hands move down Ed’s side, feeling the smooth skin under his fingers. “It’s always better with you too...” Roy said, though it was sort of a half truth. While most of the time it really was very good with Ed, and he always loved feeling Ed’s body, sometimes he thought it would be better if he did it himself, like when the teen tried to give him hand jobs. It wasn’t that Ed was exactly bad in that area, just not... well, it just wasn’t as good. Now, when it came to shoving his cock up Ed’s ass... that was definitely better.

His hand traveled down further to Ed’s erection and slowly began stroking it. “Holy shit!” Ed exclaimed. “Yeah, like that...” he moaned and closed his eyes. “Don’t stop,” he said breathily.

Roy continued to stroke the teen with one hand, then moved his other hand to rub the inside of Ed’s thigh. “I want to hear your voice, Ed...” he whispered, then licked his lips and swallowed hard. “I want to hear how you like it.”

Throwing his head back, Ed moaned, “Harder, Roy... I’m so close...” Groaning, Ed thrust hard into Roy’s hand. Roy watched intently as Ed moved. The image was so hot, so fucking arousing that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand it. His hips longed to move the same as Ed’s and he wished that his cock was buried inside of the teen so that he could thrust with Ed. At the thought of plunging himself into Ed, Roy reached around and squeezed Ed’s ass.

“Roy!” Ed cried, and he tried to ignore the pain in his head from Ed’s yelling as the teen climaxed, squirting his chest with warm, milky cum, and dripping some on his wrist and hand. He felt some of it trickle slowly down to the concave of his stomach and a few drops dribbled down his side before Ed exhaled heavily moving his head down, though careful to avoid getting cum on his stomach.

Roy pressed his lips together and wiped the cum from his hand onto the sheet before wrapping his arm around Ed. “You looked very sexy,” he said quietly. It was the truth. Ed gave him some of the hottest shows ever, perhaps because they were so real and sincere; so in the moment. Most of the females Roy had dated, and surprisingly enough a few of the males too, were incredibly self-conscious about how they looked in bed. It wasn’t nearly as good to watch them...

Ed sighed. “I needed that...” There was a long pause, then, “Do you...?” Ed trailed off, rolled himself off of Roy and wrapped a hand around Roy’s erection.

Roy didn’t need Ed to say anything else. He knew what the teen meant. “Mmmmm... I would...” he said and watched Ed expectantly.

Ed licked his lips and began nibbling at Roy’s chest, licking up the stickiness from his skin. The teen paused at Roy’s stomach and glanced up. “Tell me what you want, Roy,” Ed asked, voice heavy with desire.

Roy grinned and lightly took a hold of Ed’s head with his fingers. What he wanted was one thing he loved Ed to do, but it was also something the teen rarely did. Ed had been vocally adamant about how gross it was in the beginning, but over time, he’d become less loud about it; something that Roy attributed to the teen maturing.

“I want you to go down on me...” Roy breathed. “I want you to suck me off, Ed... I want to see my cock in your mouth...” Just saying those words made Roy’s heart speed up. He could imagine it in his mind, but to say the words out loud was much more powerful. He felt himself become even harder at the prospect of Ed doing this for him.

Smirking, Ed moved his mouth to Roy’s cock and moved his tongue around the tip for a moment, then wetly dragged his tongue around the head before moving it down. Even in the dim interior of the room, Roy could make out the saliva Ed had left on his erection, and the teen’s loose hair tickled his skin adding to the excitement of it. He sucked in his breath as Ed took the head of Roy’s cock in his mouth, and when Ed sucked hard, Roy’s eyes widened slightly at the pleasure of it.

After that initial suck, Ed moved his mouth over as much of Roy’s erection as he could. Roy opened his mouth and panted at the warm, wetness. He had the strongest desire to push down hard on Ed’s head, to force more of himself into the teen’s mouth, but instead he simply began softly kneading Ed’s head. “Oh, yes... Just like that...” he moaned. “That feels so damn good...”

Moaning with each breath, Roy knew he should probably just let Ed work, but he couldn’t fight the desire to thrust. Tightening his fingers slightly on Ed’s head, Roy began rocking his hips and thrusting himself into Ed’s mouth. He could feel the teen relax his throat, letting Roy force himself deeper. With this, Ed was amazing, truly fucking amazing. He’d only been with one other person that he’d been able to skull fuck so deeply like this. In Roy’s opinion, this was the best damn thing Ed had ever learned how to do.

Moaning loudly, Roy tightened his grip on Ed’s head. “I’m going to cum...” he said, trying to give Ed a little bit of warning before it happened. Thrusting a few more times, Roy climaxed, squirting himself down Ed’s throat. The teen swallowed what he gave, and Roy made an “ah” sound each time Ed’s throat muscles contracted around him, amplifying the normally small aftershocks.

Finally, Roy moaned loudly and let himself lay in exhaustion on the bed. He stared at the ceiling, thinking that despite how horrible he felt, this had definitely helped him. He felt so relaxed that he thought he could drop off to sleep. After a moment, Ed crawled up beside him and lay down, snuggling against his body.

“So, how about no intercourse until a successful date, but hand and mouth privileges are allowed?” Ed asked.

Well, that took away some of the challenge... but at this point Roy didn’t really care. He was sick and tired, but still enjoying the afterglow of what had just happened. “Okay...” he said, giving into what Ed wanted before kissing the teen’s head. “I spoil you too much, I think...” he said quietly, trying to ward off the pain in his head that had seemed to briefly disappear when he’d been screwing Ed, but had come back with a vengeance. Bringing his hands up, Roy put one on Ed’s back and pressed one to his forehead before squeezing his eyes shut.

“I don’t think you spoil me,” he heard Ed say with a small pout to his voice. It was just on the tip of his tongue to ask Ed if he wanted to stop being spoiled to see the difference, when Ed said, “Was that too much for you? You didn’t seem to mind...”

“I’m still hung over...” That was an understatement... “But I don’t regret it. It was good. Very good. Thank you, Ed, and, yes, I do spoil you. I give you more than anyone.” He paused, giving that a moment of thought. “But I don’t regret that either.” He didn’t regret it. Ed was different than anyone else he’d ever been with. He was special... He made Roy feel... alive.

He felt Ed’s chin rest on his chest where his hand was. “You should call in sick more often. We could do this all day. Hey, have you ever spoiled anyone else? Like, before me?” Ed asked, and Roy wanted to say, ‘I thought you said I didn’t spoil you.’

Instead he opened his eyes and petted Ed’s hair. “I don’t think calling in sick more often would be a good idea. Hawkeye actually came by to ‘check on me’ after I called in.” Bitch, he thought. “Sometimes I wonder who’s the commanding officer in that office.” He chuckled, then looked at Ed fondly.

“No...” he said, answering Ed’s question. “No one like you. There’s never been anyone like you. I’ve never treated anyone like you before. You are...” He paused, thinking about his earlier thoughts and gently touched Ed’s cheek. “You are special... No one else has been able to make me want to give in so much.” He paused and moved a piece of hair that was hanging in front of Ed’s face. “I’ve never spoiled anyone like you...” Roy thought that this hang over thing was bad for him in more ways than one. He couldn’t seem to keep his personal thoughts inside.

“Why’d you like me in the first place...” Ed asked. “I wasn’t very nice to you in the beginning...” He paused, then mumbled, “I always wondered that.”

“At first?” Roy asked. “You mean, as in... why did I pursue you?”

“Yeah, ‘cause you never told me what you like about me.” Ed laid on his side and rested his head on Roy’s shoulder before throwing an arm over Roy’s chest and reaching up to play with the hair on the back of his neck.

Roy cleared his throat. What could he say? Should he tell Ed the truth or just sweet talk him? Ed was getting to be quite mature... maybe he’d be able to handle the truth. After all, he’d heard that it was best to be truthful to your mate. He’d never followed that before, but then he’d never called anyone his mate before. He cared so much for Ed... maybe it would just be best to be honest. Ed could handle it because he was becoming an adult and because Roy was pretty sure that Ed cared for him just as much as he did for Ed.

“Well...” he began. “Actually at first I just wanted to fuck you. Sorry.” He glanced cautiously at Ed, then went on. “You had so much energy that I was extremely curious if it would extend to your sex life.” There was also the fact that he had wanted to bring Ed low, but Roy didn’t think that kind of honesty would be appreciated. “And, of course, you didn’t seem to like me very much so that really added to the thrill of the hunt...” he added.

“What!” Ed exclaimed, sitting up and glaring down at him. “You’re fucking kidding, right?”

Roy grabbed Ed’s arm and said, “Just wait, and don’t shout...” What was Ed’s problem anyway? Everything he’d said was supposed to be flattering. If Ed wasn’t good looking he wouldn’t want to fuck him at all.

“I’ll shout if I wanna shout,” Ed returned, trying to pull Roy’s hand away. “I can’t believe what a fucking pervert you are!”

“Dammit, Edward...” Roy said, and let Ed slip out of his grasp. He was just too weak to hold on. “Yes, I’m a pervert,” he conceded, deciding it was best to just agree with Ed for now. Whether someone was a pervert or not was in the eye of the beholder. “But you know my reputation... I usually only went out with people to have sex with them. How many people do you think I screwed before you? How many am I still with, or even better, how many did I stay with longer than a week?” he asked, trying to get Ed to understand just how special he was to him. If he didn’t care, then he wouldn’t have gone through all the effort, and he wouldn’t still be with him now. “Now, if you’ll just stay there and let me speak, you’ll get the answer to your question.”

Ed glared down at him, but didn’t move back to his previous spot. “I don’t even want to think about how many people you’ve had sex with...” Ed said petulantly before glancing away and staring angrily at the wall.

Roy sighed again at how difficult his young lover was being. “Ed...” he began, desperately wanting to explain this so that Ed would understand. “It was during the time that I spent trying to get you that I started to realize how much I enjoyed being with you. You weren’t like anyone I’d ever been with. You were smart and you kept me on my toes. It was invigorating to be around you. Despite our differences, you became an addiction for me, even before I ever succeeded in getting you into bed. By the time we actually had sex, I already wanted to be with you for more than that. Yes, I wanted you for sex first, but that’s not the only reason I want you now... Why should the past matter?”

“I was just curious,” Ed said crossly.

Roy reached up and touched Ed’s face, trying to think of something to say that would make things better. “I might not have told you before, but... You’re becoming an adult and I think you can handle the truth,” Roy said, running a thumb over Ed’s lips. That should make Ed happy. He liked being told how mature he was becoming.

“I’m sorry that the truth isn’t very romantic, but you should be happy that you also have the honor of being the only one I’ve ever been honest with...” He trailed off. It was such a personal thing to tell, especially since it made him sound like a real sleaze, but perhaps by giving a little more of himself than was comfortable, Ed would understand him better. His head pounded, and he felt completely exhausted. “Please don’t go...” he said softly.

Ed swallowed and blinked before frowning and looking down in a way where his hair covered his face. Roy could hear Ed’s irregular breathing and could feel him messing with the sheet. “Honored? ...I’d rather you weren’t so blunt... it hurts,” The last was a soft whisper that Roy almost missed. “You could have said it nicer, I don’t like... never mind,” Ed said, pain lacing through his voice, then laid back down in his previous spot.

Roy held him tightly and frowned at the stiffness he felt from Ed. What did he say that was wrong? He’d thought he was giving Ed what he wanted. He thought he’d said things that would make Ed happy. He thought... Well, it didn’t matter what he thought, obviously he had been incorrect, but what was he supposed to say now?

“Nothing I say is right, is it?” he finally said. “Nothing I do...” he trailed off and let his breath out slowly. “I don’t always think of saying things the nice way with you, Ed, and when I do act ‘nice’ you think I’m treating you like a girl or something. I’m not sure what you want from me...” he trailed off as he petted Ed’s hair.

Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it... he thought, but he couldn’t say it. He was done talking about this. He’d already been shot down for sharing himself, he didn’t want that to happen again. It was all so confusing and it hurt... hurt his heart and hurt his pride.

“Like I know? It’s all new to me, you know,” Ed answered, then sighed. “I don’t know how to act well for anything...”

Roy kissed Ed’s forehead. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, trying to sooth his young lover.

“Yeah, okay...” Ed said and relaxed into Roy. “Forget I even brought it up.”

That was fine with Roy. His head hurt even more now, and the nausea was still ever present. He lay there for a while, thinking about the conversation they’d just had, then said, “Ed?”

“Hmm?” came the drowsy response.

“Why me?”

“Eh?” Ed mumbled, looking up in confusion.

“You asked me why I liked you... in essence why I chose you... Well, why me? I mean... Like you said, we didn’t get along...” Roy glanced at Ed and realized that it was a childish thing to ask and he never would have even thought of asking if Ed hadn’t have asked it first. “You don’t have to answer. Never mind that I even brought it up...” he said, and glanced away.

Ed rested his head back on Roy’s shoulder and after several moments, the teen said, “Well... I like your eyes, and your voice is... shiver inspiring... but I didn’t really notice until after we were together. I guess I was attracted to your power at first.” Ed laughed. “I love the way your uniform swirls around you when you snap your fingers. It’s very sexy.”

Roy stared at Ed quietly for several moments. What Ed had just said was so nice... It was... well, not what he had expected, and Roy had a bad feeling that Ed had wanted something like that from him. “I...” he stopped and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to say...” he said breathily. “That’s so...” He paused. “Flattering.” It was the only word he could think of. It was flattering. Maybe that’s what Ed was trying to do. Maybe he was just trying to please him with hollow words. Roy had done that plenty of times before to both Ed and others and he knew they meant nothing. Roy tried not to dwell on this and instead said, “Thank you...” He didn’t know if Ed meant them or not, but he wasn’t in the mood to find out either.

“Yeah, you get off on that shit, I know you do,” Ed returned, then sighed and snuggled more closely to him. Roy frowned at what the teen had said. It was almost as if Ed had said, ‘I didn’t really mean it but I wanted to say something nice, you son-of-a bitch, get the hint.’

“I just didn’t expect something so eloquent,” he said quietly and closed his eyes. He held Ed close, deciding not to think about it for now. He couldn’t. He was too exhausted, and too sick. With his eyes closed, he started to drift off to sleep.

“Hmm… bet you never knew I had it in me,” Ed said with a yawn.

You’re right... Roy thought. I’d never thought to hear hollow flattery from you. “You learn something new everyday,” he mumbled, half asleep now, and when he heard nothing else, Roy gave in to the darkness and slept.


Tags: stories, the more i learn to care for you

  • 100moods Challenge - Bouncy

    Title: Everyone Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Characters: Mustang and crew Prompt: Bouncy Pairings: Roy/Ed hints Type: General, Implied Yaoi…

  • Object of Gossip - Chapter 14

    Title: Object of Gossip Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Rating: PG13 Type: Yaoi, Humor Warnings: Language Pairings: Eventual Roy/Ed Summary:…

  • Sins of the Past - Chapter 02

    Title: Sins of the Past Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Rating: R with a chance of an occasional NC17 chapter here and there. No promises either way.…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.