Descent - Chapter 9

Descent

Chapter Nine

Innocence Lost

Roy opened his eyes, but saw only the outline of pieces of furniture through the darkness.  He blinked.  Hadn’t it just been afternoon?  And why was he laying on the couch?  Groaning, Roy sat up and put his head in his hands.  He had a slight headache, his mouth was dry and he felt slightly nauseated. 

He shook his head and thought hard.  He’d cooked the potatoes… then had some sort of fight with Ed, then he’d…

Roy groaned as he remembered the applejack.  He hated it when he lost control and drank too much.  He hadn’t drunk so much as to have gotten raving drunk, but it had been more than what he should have had, and he had done it because he was emotional…

Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.    

That explained the headache, nausea and dry mouth, but at least the hangover was small.  He’d had worse in comparison.  He probably could have avoided this one completely if he had eaten something and maybe drank some water…

Too late now. 

As he continued to think back through the day, embarrassment filled him.  Blowing the bathroom door in was way too… excessive… and Fullmetal…

‘Well, Edward… I suppose that’s true, but I’m much better in bed than beside it’

Roy covered his eyes and hoped to hell that the kid had been too emotional himself to catch onto the fact that his commanding officer had been… less than sober...  He hoped the boy wouldn’t remember those words…

Roy lifted his head and looked around.  He couldn’t see Ed anywhere, but of course, it was dark… 

Maybe he’s laying on the floor somewhere... 

He thought about turning on a light, then dismissed the idea.  If Ed was asleep, Roy didn’t want to wake him.  He stood slowly and cautiously made his way out of the living room, to the short hall, then to his bedroom. 

There was slightly more light in his bedroom, given the light from the streetlamp outside, and in the dim glow he could make out Ed’s form lying sprawled out diagonally on the bed.  He could see the young alchemist’s hair spread out over the blanket; the golden strands seemed to glow faintly in the muted light.

Roy sighed, not sure what to do now… go back to the couch he supposed, but then he saw Ed’s head lift and turn toward him.  After a moment the boy sat up. 

“You’re awake,” Ed said quietly.

“Yeah…” 

“When I came back from fixing the mirror you were asleep on the couch.  Since you never woke up I just thought I’d sleep in here or something, but I haven’t really been able to get any sleep,” Ed said quickly in embarrassment.  There was a pause, then, “I’ll go out on the couch now, since you’re awake.”

He thought Ed sounded dejected and depressed at those last words.  Roy stepped into the room, walked to the bed, and looked down at him.  “You can stay here if you want,” he offered softly. 

There was silence in the room for several moments before Ed answered. “Well… I don’t want to kick you out of your bed…”

Roy shook his head.  “No really, I’ve slept on a couch plenty of times.  I don’t mind doing it again.”

When Ed didn’t say anything, Roy turned and started walking back toward the door.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

He’s not mad? Ed thought in surprise.  He’s going to let me sleep here? But...  why...?

Not only did he feel mortified about being found on Mustang’s bed, but he felt uncomfortable at the man just letting him take the bed.  It just seemed so wrong.  Ed supposed that if he continued to insist the colonel take the bed back, Mustang would keep pushing for Ed to stay there.  He cast his mind about for some better solution. 

Of course, he could just refuse to continue sleeping on the bed, but that would mean taking the floor, since Mustang would probably be just as stubborn and still sleep on the couch.  Besides, it just seemed to be such a childish thing to do.

Then there was the other option, but there was no way Mustang would go for it.

But what if he does?  Ed thought nervously.  He felt his breath quicken at the thought, and wondered if he’d get any sleep at all with that arrangement.  He tried to push the thought away.  It didn’t matter.  The colonel would never agree to such a thing anyway.  But it never hurt to offer…

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

“Well…  we… we can share if you want… I mean, so that neither of us have to sleep on the couch,” the last part was spoken quickly, and after it was said silence filled the room again.

Roy turned slowly, and peered at Ed through the darkness.  He couldn’t make out the boy’s face in the shadows, but he didn’t need to.  By the tone of his voice and how he had spoken, it was obvious that he wanted Roy to stay with him.

Still he hesitated.

Of course, that doesn’t mean he’s looking to get laid, he thought.  What if...  He stopped that line of thought.  Too many ‘what ifs’… too little time. 

“Sure, Fullmetal… if you don’t mind…” he said, trying to sound casual.

To this, Ed’s body seemed to flinch and he sat frozen where he was for a moment before moving his body to one side of the bed, leaving an empty space.  Roy walked toward the bed.  As he got closer, he could see the young alchemist more clearly.

Roy stopped, thinking of a way to ‘test the waters’, then said, “Uh… I usually sleep in just my boxers… but I can stay dressed if it would make you feel more comfortable…”  I can stay dressed if you aren’t interested in me, he thought.

There was another moment of silence.  “Oh… well… it doesn’t really bother me… so… well, you know… if you want too…”

Roy felt Ed’s eyes on him as he pulled off his shirt, his dog tags snagging on the collar for a moment before they fell back onto his chest with a noisy clatter.  The sweatpants came off just as quickly before he slid under the covers.

Ed immediately scrambled under the blanket as well, then lay flat on his back staring up at the ceiling again.  It was obvious that Ed was nervous, so Roy laid on his back as well, and said, “I really don’t mind sleeping on the couch if you’d rather.” 

Truthfully he did mind now that he was actually in bed, but wanted another assurance that his thinking was on track.  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Ed cried “NO!” so quickly and forcefully that Roy had to smile.  This was a development Roy thought would have only existed in his dreams. 

“I mean… no… it’s totally fine...” Ed amended rather sheepishly.

Roy turned on his side to face the boy and put a hand on his shoulder.  “Then relax.  I’m not going to bite you,” he said; and thought, not unless you want me to...  But he kept his mouth shut on that point. 

Ed, still looking up, swallowed then lifted his hand, the automail one, as if to touch Roy’s hand, but before the metal could touch his skin, the hand stopped and Ed lifted it in front of his face.  Roy watched as the boy’s face became sad, then angry.  The teen made a fist and pounded it on the bed before turning roughly away from the colonel; shrugging Roy’s hand off in the process.

He watched Ed’s back for several minutes, trying to puzzle out what could be going on in the boy’s mind.  It now was obvious to Roy that Ed wanted to be with him, but this wasn’t exactly how someone acted when they were getting what they wanted.  It didn’t take him long, thinking about what had just happened, to come up with a theory.

He laid his hand, again, on Ed’s shoulder.  The skin felt warm under his fingers.  The teen tried shaking it off again, but Roy kept his grip firm.

“Fuck off!” Ed said angrily.

“Turn around, Fullme…”  A pause.  “Ed.”

“No…” came the whispered response.

“Ed…” Roy repeated softly, then gently started pulling on the boy’s shoulder.

There was resistance at first, then he turned easily back onto his back.  Roy got up on one elbow and leaned over the short alchemist.  Ed turned his head away, but Roy slipped his hand under Ed’s face and turned it back toward him and took note of the unshed tears in his eyes. 

Roy laid his arm across the boy’s chest, his hand on the automail arm and watched as Ed looked away in embarrassment.  “Is this what’s bothering you?” he asked.  When Ed made no reply, he said, “Because it doesn’t bother me.” 

A tear made a line down Ed’s cheek as he turned his head to stare up at him.  “It doesn’t?”

Roy smiled slightly and shook his head.

“Well, it bothers me!” Ed yelled, suddenly angry.  “I hate it!  I hate that I can’t feel anything with it, hate the way it makes me look; like I’m not real or something!  I hate what I can do with it; what I’m capable of!  I hate this fucking automail.  I hate this fucking body!  I hate my fucking life!”  Suddenly the raging fire seemed to go out and Ed whispered.  “I just wish I was dead.” 

Roy frowned silently down at the young alchemist who was now looking away again, tears flowing freely down his face.  He was almost afraid to speak.  Ed had let him in on a large amount of private information.  If he handled this wrong it could be a total disaster.

He moved his hand to cup Ed’s cheek and brought the boy’s head back to face him.  Roy waited until Ed moved his eyes to look up at him before he spoke. 

“Ed.  There’s nothing wrong with your body.  You are real.”  He rubbed his thumb on Ed’s cheek and whispered, “You’re beautiful…”

Ed stared up into Roy’s eyes and blinked, making a tear run down his cheek.  “You’re lying,” he whispered. 

Roy shook his head.  “No.  It’s true, Ed.”  He sighed. “I know you’ve had it hard, but you can only move forward.”

The delicate features of Ed’s face crumpled.  “You don’t know… you don’t know what I’ve done… I don’t want to go forward…” 

“You’re right,” Roy said.  “I don’t know everything you’ve done, and I won’t know unless you tell me.  What I do know is that we all do things that we regret.  I know how it feels to do… despicable… things.  I know what it’s like to want to forget, to want to end it all.” 

When Ed didn’t respond, Roy decided it was time to change the subject to something a little less depressing.  Heart pounding in nervous apprehension, he lowered his head so that his lips were right next to Ed’s ear and whispered.  “You know what I think?”  Ed shook his head.  “I think you need to relax,” he said, then softly kissed the tender skin below Ed’s ear and smiled when he heard a small gasp. 

“I’ll make you forget all your troubles.” At least for tonight. “I want you to just lay back and enjoy the experience,” he said, and ran his tongue lightly along the edge of Ed’s ear until it reached the place were it connected with his face. 

At this, Ed’s body stiffened, and he whispered, “Colonel…?” 

“Shhh” Roy hushed before gently tickling the inside of the boy’s ear with the tip of his tongue.  He took the earlobe into his mouth, giving it a mild suck before he pulled his face away, letting the loose skin pop out lightly between his lips. 

He could feel Ed’s chest begin to rise and fall as his breathing quickened, but the boy’s body was still tense. “Relax,” Roy whispered again, and he was relieved when Ed did.

Roy tightened his grip on the automail, shifting his weight on his other arm while bringing himself onto his knees for better leverage.  His metal dog tags clattered against Ed’s arm as he bent his head lower and touched his lips to the place on Ed’s neck that was right under the jaw and began planting slow, hot, breathy kisses down to Ed’s collar bone. 

A moan escaped from the teen as Roy slowly, and deliberately, let his tongue drag wetly down the line of the bone to the hollow of Ed’s throat, then gently nipped at the skin with his lips before raising his head to look into Ed’s large, round eyes.

Ed’s breathing was coming in short, panting breaths and his face was a brilliant shade of red.  Golden orbs seemed to glow in the dimly lit room as he stared back at Roy with the eyes of the inexperienced. 

Everything was new for him and, in a way, Roy envied him. 

Without taking his eyes from Ed’s, Roy slid his hand lightly over the automail, the steel cool against his touch.  When he reached the place where the limb was attached to Ed’s skin, Roy gently brushed his fingers over the scared tissue.  Ed took in a deep breath and let his eyes dart in that direction, then back. 

By then, he had gone on, moving his hand gently up Ed’s neck, brushing the fine hairs with his fingers but not touching the skin.  When he reached the spot where the thick, blond hair attached to Ed’s head, Roy pressed the pads of his fingers close to the skin as he continued, letting the hair run through his fingers as he slid his hand between Ed’s head and the pillow. 

Keeping his eyes on Ed’s, Roy began to move his head forward, but paused momentarily as a wave of nervousness washed over him.  Too late to rethink this, he thought, and began again, bringing his face close enough to Ed’s that their noses touched.  The short alchemist’s eyes grew even larger and he swallowed hard.  Roy smiled a little before closing his eyes, turning his head slightly, and lightly pressing his lips against Ed’s.

Roy had always imagined that Ed’s lips would be soft and velvety, but the real Ed’s lips were slightly rough.  This gave him the impression that the boy didn’t exactly fawn over himself, but rather did only the necessary things to keep himself groomed and sanitary.  His lips pulled into an involuntary smile at the new piece of private information.

Roy lifted his head a bit, releasing Ed from the brief kiss for a moment before running the tip of his tongue along the lips of Ed’s open, gasping mouth.  Then he pulled Ed’s head forward as he slid his tongue deftly into the damp cavity of his mouth, kissing the boy with hot, urgent need.

At first he got little response, but it didn’t take long before Ed tentatively began to kiss him back; hesitation quickly becoming lost in desire.  Roy felt a touch on his back from Ed’s real hand, and the contact flared his arousal like oil to fire.

When Roy finally broke the kiss by sliding his hand out from beneath Ed’s head and letting it drop back to the pillow, they were both panting heavily.  Immediately, Roy slid his now free hand under the too big shirt Ed was wearing and brushed his hand over the smooth skin of the Ed’s torso before sitting back on his knees and grabbing the shirt with his other hand, pulling it toward the teen’s head.

Ed, child prodigy that he was, looked at him in confusion for only a second before lifting his arms to make it easier for Roy to unburden himself of this flimsy barricade between them.

Roy leaned down and began running his tongue wetly over the nipples on Ed’s chest, making the teen moan as he absentmindedly tossed the shirt between the two pillows.  He took one of the small nubs in his mouth and ran his tongue around it while sliding one of his hands down Ed’s stomach and under the band of the sweats.  The boy’s breathing was hard and erratic, and was accompanied by auditory exclamations of pleasure.

He trailed kisses across to the other nipple as he ran his hand down the inside of the boy’s real thigh, skirting his sex completely.  Ed whimpered and, Roy could feel the young alchemist trembling beneath his touch.  He lifted his head to look at Ed’s face as he moved his hand to the teen’s penis, taking the shaft firmly in his grip.

Ed’s eyes, closed when Roy had looked at him, popped open and he gasped.  It took only a couple of strokes before he pushed his hips up hard, his whole body tensing, eyes and mouth opening wide, fists clenching tightly on the bed sheets.

Roy felt spasms in Ed’s hard erection and a second later he felt wet stickiness drip onto his hand.  He smiled at Ed, whose body was only beginning to relax and whose breathing was still harsh and jagged. 

Ed grinned and whispered, “Wow… oh my… wow… that was… so… amazing.”  

Roy smiled at the complement and said, “Better than flying solo, isn’t it.”  And there’s still so much more than this... 

Ed nodded emphatically, and watched as Roy pulled his hand out from beneath the sweats.  When he put one of his fingers in his mouth, Ed pulled a face.

“What?” Roy murmured.

“That’s… just…” Ed paused as if trying to find the right word, then said, “gross.”

Roy’s eyebrows raised in amusement.  “You mean to tell me you’ve never wondered how you taste?”  Ed shook his head quickly.  “Well you should try it at least once,” he said, holding his hand out.

“Oh, fuck no,” Ed said adamantly, and turned his head away.

Shrugging, Roy slid his boxers down and lay on his back; spreading the remaining wetness on his hand over his own penis, which was now hard and begging for attention.  There was a rustling beside him.  Roy glanced ever and saw that Ed had rolled over onto his side, facing toward him.  The teen was looking down at Roy’s handy work with unfeigned interest.  It occurred to him that Ed had probably never watched someone give themselves a hand job before. 

With practiced ease, Roy slid his slick hand up and down and around his erection.  He could feel himself getting harder, and he consciously had to make himself slow down.  Roy didn’t want to finish too quickly; he wanted to go slow, so that he could watch Ed’s face longer.  The young alchemist was obviously enjoying himself, and that pleased Roy to no end. 

A thought came to him and he moved his hand away and to Ed.  “Spit,” he commanded, holding his palm open.  The short teen looked at Roy, his brow crinkling, then moved his gaze down.  For a moment he peered at the outstretched hand, then complied.  “Again,” Roy demanded feeling incredibly turned on by the warm, slimy liquid in his hand.  Ed made to spit again, but this time it caught on his lip and the saliva began dribbling down his chin.  Ed blushed in embarrassment.  Roy grinned slightly, took his thumb and wiped the spittle off of Ed’s skin, then softly kissed the boy before turning his attention back to what he was doing.

Bringing his hand back, Roy began spreading the saliva over his hard penis.  He liked the thought of using more of Ed’s body fluids to take care of himself.  He’d love to have Ed help out, but decided not to broach the subject given the boy’s injured hand. 

Another time perhaps, but for now though, he was ready to quit holding himself back.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Ed eyes widened involuntarily as he watched Mustang’s hips rise, slightly pushing into his hand; which had begun to speed up.  He swallowed and licked his lips.  His heart was racing, and he breathed in and out quickly. 

The colonel’s own breathing was erratic and although he was staring fixedly at Ed, his eyes were beginning to take on a glazed look.  His lips parted and Ed looked down to see Mustang’s hand make two spasmodic jerks, then stop.  The man’s hips were pushing his erection hard into his fist.  Milky white liquid squirted up and dropped onto Mustang’s hand. 

Ed moved his gaze back to Mustang’s face and he saw that the man was now staring at the ceiling with a relieved look.  His breath was coming out in long drawn out bursts of air and Ed could see a few beads of sweat dot the man’s forehead.

The colonel turned his head toward Ed and brought his hand up, licking a part of the flesh that was covered in the filmy stickiness.  Ed pinched the bridge of his nosed and shook his head.  It was just so… gross… 

He heard Mustang chuckle.  “Don’t tell me you don’t want to taste it because it’s white...”

Ed glared at the other man, but the colonel didn’t seem to mind.  For a moment Mustang looked around, then grabbed the shirt Ed had been wearing, and used it to clean himself.  When he was finished, Mustang lifted the blanket, and Ed scooted in close.

Wrapped in Mustang’s arms, Ed felt warm and secure.  For now, at least, his thoughts didn’t trouble him, and for the first time in a week he was finally able to drop off into an untroubled sleep.