5 Golden Rings
For indigo419, for so many reasons. As the kids say, LYLAS!
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Kat’s been dead for over forty-eight hours, but the service is postponed until operations have been established on the planet. So, her body’s been lying in the makeshift morgue, just waiting for the Colonial anthem and a shove out the airlock. Kara thinks there’s something obscene about the delay, but the Fleet has more important things to do than eulogize a pilot who’d been a pain in their collective asses. Especially hers. But Katraine – or whatever her name really was – had still been a pilot. So when she has a few minutes of downtime, Kara tracks down a photo and heads to the Memorial Hall to do her duty.
It’s more difficult than she expected, though. She’s not sure what she feels, but she does feel something, and she tries to blink it away. She stands there and stares at the photograph, reminding herself that this pilot might have died on her watch, but it wasn’t Kara’s fault. She knows that’s the absolute truth, but it doesn’t help much. It never does. Especially with Kat. More than anything else, she’s just ready for it all to be over.
And then there’s Lee’s hand on her shoulder, like he’s her anchor. She doesn’t want or need an anchor, but she lets him touch her. Right now she needs something else. Not here in the middle of the Memorial Hall, though. So, without a word, she pulls him over to a dark storage locker and fastens her mouth to his.
It’s not the first time since the boxing ring. If she has any say in the matter, it won’t be the last – though she’s learning that with Lee she doesn’t get to call the shots. There have been a few quick kisses, frantic gropes, but not like this. Not when she just needs to be as alive as his skin feels under her palms. Gods, all she wants to do is keep kissing him, re-learn how he tastes and moans because she can’t remember him well enough from last time. But he stops them before she can get that far.
“Kara, are you okay?”
“Is that your go-to phrase, Lee?” she blurts out, but he just gives her a familiar look. Something inside her both cracks and softens. He pivots both of them in one smooth motion until he’s sitting against the bulkhead and she’s leaning back into him. They stay there together for a while, not saying anything else. He reaches for her hand and kisses the inside of her wrist, just above the Y-shaped scar from a broken bottle when she was five. It reaches down and tugs on something low in her belly, and she’s more turned on than if it were his mouth down there on her bare skin. His wedding ring presses against her knuckles as he holds her hand, but he must not realize it or this would’ve been over a long time ago.
She thinks about Sam, who just loves her as if it’s as simple as that.
She thinks about how close she came to marrying this man holding her right now. She wonders how things would’ve been different if she’d known back then that she wanted this. Marrying him isn’t necessarily something she wants, but the option’s gone now. He wouldn’t go for it unless something – the thing that’s permanently on her arm – changes. Yet he still seems to want her, and the Gods know she wants him. She doesn’t want to die like Kat without knowing how it feels to have him.
But she can’t tell him anything about death and scars and how she almost married him. The only thing she’s capable of doing right now is biting her lip as he kisses her wrist and holds her.
Gods, she’d missed him.
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