wisteria (wisteria_) wrote,
wisteria
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The Green Flip-Flops of Doom.

I originally posted this as a ficlet in reply to asta77 and me snarking about Jamie Bamber's godawful green plastic flip-flops in that video interview last week, and how he was going to break a leg wandering around the set in those things. I meant to repost it on its own because I like having my fic categorized -- yeah, I'm weird that way -- but I kept forgetting.

So, this is G-rated RPF; if it didn't squick Asta, I figure it's safe for public consumption. ;) Crackfic? Oh, yeah. Mostly, this is my way of trying to come up with some reason why he would actually wear green flip-flops. Yikes!

First of all, a refresher:



*cringe*


Vancouver - Monday, June 25, 2007

Jamie stared at his closet. Very big day today, what with all those bloggers coming to the set for a meet-and-greet followed by an hour-long video interview. He'd heard rumblings that the female fans loved to dissect his fashion choices, so he should really look his best! He pulled out the white polo. Kerry often complimented it, saying that it was "nice and neutral". Excellent choice -- less distracting with the prop viper behind him. Trousers? That was a bit trickier. Sure, blue jeans would be all right, but he felt like jazzing things up. Definitely the khaki trousers with the embroidered dragon. They made him feel quite manly and "grr!", which would help counteract how squeaky his natural voice tended to get at times.

The shoes were a problem. Men were expected to wear trainers. No fun in that! Same with his brown loafers. He sized up the Timberland sandals -- they weren't snazzy, but they were bloody comfortable. Plus, they went with the "safari" theme he'd developed with the white polo and dragon pants. Then his eyes alighted on something altogether different. On Saturday he'd taken the girls to the Old Navy clearance sale, and they were soon knee-deep in little jumpers and hair bows and swimsuits. His eldest held up a tiny pair of green thongs and begged, "Daddy! I want these!" Soon, she skipped over to the men's section and found a matching pair in a size 10. "We can look alike!" So adorable. A memory for the ages. Plus, they only cost two dollars!

He weighed the decision long and hard: rugged "I'm the outdoorsy hiking type!" sandals vs. green "I'm whimsical and a great daddy!" flip-flops. Grinning, he grabbed the green plastic footwear and slipped them on, wriggling his sockless toes. The fans would be quite impressed by his sartorial flair.


The next afternoon....

When he hobbled his way onto the set, he found Ron standing in front of his trailer, hands on hips and a very cross expression on his face. "What the frak were you thinking, Jamie?"

"Pardon?" He tried to explain, but he was too busy keeping his balance on those crutches.

"We had that incredible arc planned! Apollo and Roslin were going to take over the Fleet, with her riding shotgun in the Raptor while he single-handedly annihilated an entire squadron of Cylon Raiders!" Ron's voice dropped to a growl. "Now I have to rewrite the whole rest of the season. I hope you like playing scenes in sick bay and the brig, because Apollo's gonna get to know those two sets very well."

Jamie stared down at the plaster cast enveloping his left foot. "Um, sorry?"

Should've gone with the sandals.
Tags: bsg - jamie, fic, rpf
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