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Discerning is AWESOME

Marriage As Vocation, Week 2, Day 12 (I think?): Wow. You guys, such blessings, such self-discovery has come from this 2 week thing. I was confiding in Holly, my therapist, yesterday, about my peace with this vocation, and how…I don’t know, it’s like my soul has been cleaned, and I don’t recognize the once messy room I’d kept. Holly said, “Being decided on marriage as your vocation, it’s like it gave you PERMISSION to actively look, to be open to a relationship!” :-O That’s true! I needed permission from myself! I hadn’t even realized that. Holly said how she always saw dissonance in me surrounding romance, like I wanted a relationship but wasn’t willing to admit such for fear it’ll make me look weak or pathetic, so I played games with myself, screwing with my thinking and screwing up my chances. Now she sees a peace in me, she hears it in my voice, she sees me radiating positive energy. I said, “No way! That’s crazy, cuz I totally felt like I was getting special attention from some guys Saturday!” Correlation much? Crazy how that works!
I’m having so much fun with this vocation, experiencing such peace that I don’t want to move onto the consecrated life 2 weeks>P But I will, just to be obedient and thorough.

I feel free, liberated, and taken care of. Let me just pat myself on the back and say I’ve come a long way in the last two months, when I lost a lot of support all at once. Well, I shouldn’t pat myself on the back cuz this was all God’s doing, so let’s all pat Him on the back:-P

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
lostieborden
May. 7th, 2010 04:28 am (UTC)
I'm glad to hear it's going so well!
willow_tree_
May. 7th, 2010 01:51 pm (UTC)
I wrote this after I heard about your situation, so please don't think I'm trying to rub your face in it or something. It's not all peaches and cream, so I look forward to stitching and b-ing (you know that word) with you soon!!!
lostieborden
May. 7th, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
I didn't even think about that! You're considerate enough for the both of us :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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