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Discernment!

I have been given an assignment from my spiritual director, Fr. Martin. He says I am to spend two weeks on one of the vocations—consecrated religious or married life—and for those two weeks, I am to act, pray, and think as if that one vocation IS my vocation. Then, after those two weeks, do another two weeks praying, thinking, and acting as if the OTHER is my vocation. Whichever brings me more peace is probably where God is calling me. Granted, it probably won’t make things *crystal clear*, but it WILL give me a chance to “be still and know that He is God.” And who knows, maybe it WILL make things crystal clear (fingers crossed)! But either way, the main point is I’m in conversations with both vocations. I need to give one conversation my full attention as opposed to switching back and forth, getting things muddled. Fr. Martin advised I begin with the married life being my vocation. So, for the next two weeks, starting yesterday, I am DECIDED. I plan on updating my journal daily with how I am doing with the call and how I am reacting to it. These journals will be a day late—i.e. what I post today is actually how I did yesterday—but the days don’t matter so much as the entries themselves.

Called to Marriage, Week 1, Day 1: didn’t feel much different, though it did feel really nice to be decided. Not at peace due to external circumstances. Kind of wanted to start out with religious life as vocation, but Fr. Martin told me not to do things out of fear, which was exactly why I wanted to postpone the married life vocation. He’s good.

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