Tags: college

in brave sunlight.

Martha, my love.

Every page of my notebook has blue veins, a silver-y skeleton, and white blood cells. I use mechanical pencils because anything else makes my handwriting look like shit. There is no backspace key while using long-hand, but I am so obsessive-compulsive that my erasers may as well be that key on a few seconds delay. An electronic dictionary fixes up my spelling, and my proof-reading skills cleans up any questionable grammar. Generally, when writing out so slowly, there are very few mistakes. Though, I will say that I use a thesaurus because they are far too much fun. My notebook, scrap paper, and otherwise, is all very neat and organized. My speech about Orson Welles' Mercury Theatre production of War of the Worlds is plotted out neatly, point-by-point, followed by quick facts such as H.G. Welles and 1938.
      The annoying aspect of my personality is the fact that some things will contradict my better judgment. I like people (I'm an extrovert), but they are tedious and horrible and I hate them, sometimes. You modify your public vocabulary because it was annoying, and then people treat you like you are inferior. But, I must be honest, my disdain is not for people but for the people specifically of my generation. Why, do you ask? Education. Plain and simple. The public educational system puts people in this box of do-not-think-outside; even if you have potential you must squelch it or we will repress you into a black hole. All academia seems to be, at this point, is people's view of their own intelligence and helping others to see how smart they are. Getting an A does not indicate that you are intelligent, it indicates that you are very good at taking certain tests in very narrow subjects. I know people who are intelligent who have shit grades, and people, who proclaim themselves to be stupid, get straight As. I'm sorry, but I don't think you're as intelligent as you thought if you're in that company.
      Creativity and intelligence are not intrinsically bound together. People do not seem to realize that simply because you do not understand something, it is not good. Also, they do not seem to see that simply because it is good in class, does not mean that you are creative. But, to be perfectly honest, I think a lot of people who say that they are artistic are full of shit. I'm an elitist, I will not tell a lie (on this matter.) Whatever gives me the right to say that can be argued, feel free. But, I know that a lot of teachers in the public educational system prefer certain students over others, no matter how quality their work is over another's. For example, why do girls do so much better in school? Because girls know how to sit still as opposed to boys, who are not always capable of such. Does this mean that a girl is more intelligent than a boy? Does that mean that the girl put in more hours of work for a certain project than a boy? No, not always.
      I guess, if you want the synopsis of what I just said: The public educational system is bullshit and they are giving kids a false sense of intelligence; and, simply because you do art does not mean that you are an artist. Actually, the majority of academia is bullshit. Or all of it. However, I see the point in college because 1) you have a degree and then, in our society, can make more money and 2) it gets you away from your natural habitat, in most instances. But, Christ, I think this country is in for a lot of problems when my generation comes of age, in full.
and after before.

Madness be this!

Where to begin? It isn't as if I've been a very active LJer for quite a long time in terms of posting or commenting. Don't think that I haven't been reading, because I most assuredly have been. I've even been reading some of the more tedious journals on my list (read: if you're reading this, you are not one of them.) It's not like there hasn't been much going on; on the contrary, as it always is, there is an excess of things going on. Of course, there are things going on which I do not want to post here for public consumption or for specific people. As for things of a less delicate nature which have been going on, it's all mundane student bullshit. Many of you know the drill of sleep, food, class, food, sleep... or a schedule similar. My classes are going well which I feel like I have said every single entry I have made since the beginning of this semester. My effective speaking teacher is, "the best teacher. Period." which I am tending to agree with, especially in any school systems.
      There is supposed to be a snowstorm in Vermont on Thursday which means that my mother and I are leaving early for Goddard College. That means that we are leaving tomorrow morning and spending five days in Vermont. For those of you whom I have recently been speaking with over AIM, you know that I am really, really, really excited about the program and blah, blah, blah. That is yet another which I am tired of recounting. Désolée for either the tedium or the ambiguity. CCSC kids get to do a stupid concert which is going to be televised on the local channel. I get to go off and be intelligent with a playwright who has degrees in theatre. My education rocks the socks off of yours, man. ;) Other than that, I simply need to be packing and things of that nature. Be well.
and after before.

Curling -- for those who love watching trainwrecks.

While I do not totally understand it -- and the fact that I hate that I've actually been enjoying the motherfucking Olympics -- I am fascinated by curling. I do kind of get it, truth be told, but it is such a boring game. It seems like a mix of bowling, hockey, shuffle board, cleaning (as in cleaning the house with brooms) and maybe a couple of other things. It is so painful to watch, but I feel like I have to see the end of it. Or else. Or else what, do you ask? I will miss the end of the boring curling match, is what! Men's curling is a lot more interesting than the women's curling, I must say. Though, I do not know why. The men play a more aggressive game with more strategy, and the women just seem rather bored with the game themselves.
      Bode Miller was homeschooled. Raise your hand if you knew that Peekaboo Street was also homeschooled. I remember watching the Olympics when she was skiing, and I had no idea she was homeschooled until two days ago. She made me like Chapstick. (That's a lie.) There is so much that, in the past three days, I could have been doing... but I haven't. However, I do feel proud of the fact out of all of my dojo I was the first to hand in my karate camp application. I handed in the application, actually, the class following to having gotten the application (and I was the first to get the application.) So as long as I'm the first to get in my money for the kanpai, I will feel like I've proved myself when it comes to signing up for karate events. (Last year, I was definitely one of the last people signed up for camp because I wasn't sure if I was going. Hence, why I feel that I have to prove myself. It's probably more about proving myself to myself, but that's okay.)
      There are plenty of other things going on, but I feel more inclined to discontinue writing here and think to myself that I will actually do something productive once I get off of the computer. Not that I will, or anything like that. All of the classes which I'm taking are going fairly well, though photography is giving me a bit of trouble. However, in concerns to photography, I think I will be having more fun later on in the semester. At least, I hope so. The most important thing I've learned in the past several days is that the terminology for brass knuckles is tekko. Awesome!
and after before.

I know you all.

This has been an unexciting but moderately busy week despite the fact that I have been procrastinating my ass off about things which are rather important. In photography all I did was make lots and lots of photograms (which turned out pretty well after I figured out exactly what I was doing.) My mom and I went to see an African drum band at Sussex and, despite the fact that Sussex County is boring and does not dance, the African dancers just started pulling people out of the audience at the end of the set. By the end of the concert everyone seemed to be having fun. I have to give my speech on finger knitting on Thursday, and while I have some preliminary ideas of how to go about it, I really have not given it too much thought. This semester is deceptive -- these classes are really easy to bullshit around in and that kind of frightens me (because I want As, period.) We'll see by the end of the semester. Actually, we'll see once the Goddard College program starts up (beginning of March.) Lord, this is an interesting year so far.
      Yesterday I went to the concert that Katie was in (Regents and/or Regions, I'm not actually sure which the name is 'cause I very rarely listen.) The SATB choir did some absolutely awesome songs and the treble choir had a stunning Alleluia by a living, female composer. I think our (CCSC) choir should do that for Italy, it had such a beautiful sound. Man, so pretty. However, on top of the revelation that I have recently come to about sleep, I have come to another conclusion about myself: I am a fucking critic. I am such a critic and I have never really realized this fact until Saturday. That is really stupid. The thing is that I am critical of almost everything despite the fact that I am either 1) not proficient in the subject or 2) not understanding the subject at all. I rock. I am also away too much on AIM, says John. Oh well.
      After my, I think, 6th makeup class for karate Mr. N was like, "Okay, so what's going on..." so I explained it and he's okay with it. To be frank, I was almost afraid that one day he would say, "No, you may not take this class as a makeup." It was kind of funny because on Saturday night, I had a dream that Mr. H said, "Get ready!" and, at Katie's house, I got into a seisan fighting stance under the covers. You would think that I would have had an interesting karate dream, but no! -- a random one! Featuring Mr. H! There you go. It was interesting on Saturday's class, to me, that after having been on suansu since camp (not having finished it) and then finishing it three weeks ago and now I've just started sanchin. But, not going to say that I mind, because... you know what that means. (Actually, I guess, most of you don't. What it means is that when I finish sanchin, I will go onto bo. And bo is bo. Yay bo.) :D Be well all of you.
get thee to a nunnery!

Cry, "Wolf!"

Poor, poor Connie did not get to come to A Midsummer Night's Dream this morning because her car, basically, broke down. :( However, the others came and Jamie (associate director of the educational department at The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey) filled the theatre with homeschoolers. It was rather impressive how much networking he had done for this performance. It was the first showing of the new Shakespeare Live's cast of Midsummer and it was awesome. They were so fresh and Helena was hilarious, the mask for Bottom was perfect, and Puck succeeded in making everyone laugh. However, I still don't understand why Hippolyta is portrayed almost timidly. She doesn't act timid, and wasn't she the queen of the Amazons or something? Majorly strong female figure is what I've always imagined her to be. (I've seen this live prior to this and I wasn't satisifed, and I'll be seeing in in March again, hopefully.) Maybe it's me, though?
      Effective Speaking was in session today and he is an awesome teacher. He told us that he had the plague and that cognac and vitamin C seemed to work. It was weird because prior to class I was reading Henry 4, pt. 2, and he asked me what I was reading. I told him and he said that he had had a dream that night that he and his friend were fighting over who was going to play Falstaff in a production of that play. It was weird, I must say. He had us pull an Aesop moral out of an envelope and then write a fable about it, and we all had to tell our little story as an impromtu speech. He gave us 8 minutes to write something, but I wasn't happy what it was that I wrote. So I winged something about a guinea hen and a fox. I've finally used a guinea hen in an articulate way and I think that it's awesome. However, that be all. Be well.
belle of the bullshit.

I wrote a letter that I never mailed.

Despite the fact that I like all of my professors quite a bit, I am going back to CCM next semester. While I am sure there is a good reason why I have not had my effective speaking class for three classes in a row, it annoys me. Considering as the class is a requirement for graduation at SCCC, they have like ten bazillion teachers teaching it. There is an effective speaking class directly before mine. Sure, it is not highschool and we should not be needing substitute teachers, but it just is rather idiotic. CCM's atmosphere is a lot nicer, they have been doing a lot more theatre stuff and the campus is a lot bigger. SCCC is so small it feels like you are always running into the same people. Very weird. What I have been thinking about doing is doing a lot of art classes (dance, theatre, some visual) and get started on an AFA (considering as I have been thinking about double majoring, I do not see how such could hurt.)
      Over the weekend I went to a small poetry reading at SCCC which was poetry for two voices. Both people performing were from Genesis Farm and I never put their faces with their names, but they are always around. They did this weird prose-poem of Gertrude Stein's and a passage from the book, Invisible Cities which I really want to read. The second one, which was at the Institute for Spiritual Development two minutes from my house was poets from New Jersey. There was a man, Joe Weil, who looked like a chipmonk but got up and read a Ginsberg poem (the one about Walt Whitman, though I do not remember the name) with a harmonica. And he was not really reading but he was singing and it was really awesome. Then he did something of his own on piano about Elizabeth, Jersey. While all of the reading was very good, his performance was just that: a performance. It reiterated my feeling that writers (the highest of artists) can do any kind of art there is (acting, singing, instrumentation, etc., etc.) It was wonderful. When we were walking out it was nice to see him smoking a cigarette in front of the graveyard (which is directly behind the church.) He seemed more human.
      After that I went to see Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie, at KRHS. Agatha Christie should have stuck to novels and what not, her play was inconsistent as all hell. It was like: fuck! Shut up! (Because of her bad, bad writing.) I will say that I prefer a more minimalistic stage, but that is an opinion. After that Katie and I went to the cast party and then we left. And Will is a scene kid and that either makes me laugh or sad. No, I know: it makes me laugh. Har, har, har. After all was said and done, I went home and watched bits and pieces of the superbowl. Got bored, am here. I forgot to mention that I went to karate class on Saturday morning, also. The interesting thing about that was that I was on time, bowed on after the juniors were off, and bowed in when Mr. N gave the direction. Me, Jake, and John (all ni-kyus) including a few other black belts were there. Five minutes in: a purple belt. Five minutes after: another purple belt (Mr. N getting visibly annoyed.) Ten minutes later: a brown belt. Meaning: lecture. In a way, I felt vindicated because it was so unfair and I was afraid that he wasn't going to say anything. Not that I actually thought he wasn't going to say something, but... y'know. It just was like, "A brown belt is the last person on the floor? There is something wrong with this, man. Seriously wrong."
      That is all. I am going to see A Midsummer Night's Dream on Tuesday morning, and I assume that it will be wonderful. I hope you all are well!
three words.

Shoebox pictures. Go look! Ah!

1) My classes are all very nice. 2) Rebecca: what is the juicy Kai news? C'mon! 3) I know that I am not the only one who finds lots of homosexuality in Shakespeare (both female (favorite: Celia/Rosalind) and male (maybe: Brutus/Cassius.)) Who else? 4) I am absolutely exhausted but, I think, next week I will have adjusted. 5) All of my teachers are awesome from my effective speaking teacher, choir director, and probably my photography teacher. 6) Apparently, I am a coloratura. And, no, I cannot spell that correctly because I am tired. 7) *British accent* I love you all.
three words.

I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.

Yet another question: in my effective speaking class, obviously, we have to give speeches. The first speech is going to be a demonstration (ex. in the past, people have shown how to make baked zeiti and peanut butter and jelly, though it does not have to involve food.) My absolutely awesome teacher said, "Things that you know well and things that you like," so my choice is basically unlimited. My thought is to demonstrate how to finger knit or tie my shoe. Does anyone have any ideas of things which I could demonstrate (in 5 minutes and under.) Not that I'll necessarily use your suggestions, however, I'll probably just show finger knitting.
      Connie's "mathematical concepts" class is the classroom just before mine. It was absolutely creepy, we met in the library because we were bored and it was like, "Your classroom is like in the same place. Weird." However, Sussex is really easy to navigate and it is fairly small making the walks much easier. I really don't have much to say, but I wanted to ask that. After a few classes, I'll start to poke around and see if I can get together a theatre thing. Let's see what this button does, eh?
three words.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Help here? Anyone?

Professor Wollock,

For the second paper I wrote on Lorenzo Monaco's The Nativity, I forgot that I had to do it double-spaced. It's 14pt, single spaced, and two pages. This paper is far superior to the other paper on The Merode Altarpiece by Robert Campin I will be handing in tomorrow. You specified, if memory serves well, that you will not grade a single-spaced paper. I spent all of yesterday on making this paper the best that I possibly could, and I had it corrected and all other such things. As I was getting ready to staple it together with my receipt, cover page, and picture I realized that it was single-spaced. I do not want to have to 1) re-write this paper, or 2) edit this paper to pieces. I am using both of these papers for the admissions process to Goddard College, and that is incredibly important to me right now. I have no idea what to do right now, Professor. I know that this was my own fault and that it is my responsibility to check all of the information before I write the paper. I know that I should have, unlike the rest of the class, written this paper a couple of months ago. However, I did it yesterday as I am sure many others did.

I am so screwed right now in Art History because I probably did not get a 90 or above on the last test, and that means I will have to take the final. A B grade is not acceptable especially when I will be applying to Smith College for class of 2011. I know that you will be dropping the lowest grade and, if I did a 90 or above on this past test, I would not have to take the final. However I did not study enough and I feel that I got more than two questions wrong, and consequently would have a lower than 90 grade. I really hope that I can figure a way to get around this problem. I know that many professors do not want single-spaced papers, but I am unaccustomed to writing anything that is double-spaced. Between 12pt-14pt, double-spaced, and two pages. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck you,
Tori.
three words.

You want the truth! Well, okay... (feel free to skip this.)

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9: Signed up for classes at SCCC on Monday morning. Taking: Effective Speaking, Chorus I, and Photography (which I got the last seat in the class in.) Yayness.

Right now I should be studying for my astronomy test, which is tomorrow afternoon. There is also an art history review (for a test) which Wollock (the teacher) told us to study for, and to come in with questions. I, however, am opting to study for the test which I'm actually having tomorrow, and study for the art history test over the weekend (the test is on Monday.) The shiai is on Sunday as is the Watergap Singer's concert. I am staying at the shiai for and hour and then rushing to the concert. It is 12:38 and all I really want to do is clean up a bit and then continue reading, Queen of the Damned. Two more chapters of astronomy to read! Yay! (Did I mention that's about 70 pages? At 12:38AM. And the test is tomorrow. Yep.) Be well.