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stories & alibis

11 November
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Did I ever tell you that everything I know about breaking hearts I learned from you? Well, it's true. And I know, I've never done it with the grace and style that you have. I settled instead for making long term plans based on my mistakes.

There's nothing worse... I swear, you have no idea. The jealousy that became me thinking, "he always had it way too easy, he's getting what he deserves." And I told myself that all I did was what I had to. But don't believe me.

And now, all I've got is this twenty dollar bill that says you're up late night starting fist fights vs. fences in your back yard, and whispered rumors of the way you wear your black eye like a badge of honor, soaking in the sympathy of friends who never loved you nearly half as much as I do (but irony is for suckers)

Breaking down in bars, and the cold tile bathroom floors inside them, it's something unforgivable. But don't believe me, don't.

I won't lie, it keeps me up till ungodly hours at night. But I can't regret, so just forget it. I started something I couldn't finish, and if we go down then we go down together. Best friends means I pulled the trigger, best friends means you get what you deserve.

Take the time to talk about it.
Think a lot.
And live without it.

"chocolate chip cookie bed", "target houses", 8-28-03, 8-8-05, a static lullaby, alkaline trio, american history x, any-meat-will-do!!!!, audra lindley, aussie, being a hateful bitch, being engaged!!!!!, big hair, big k koolers, bill-yea-okay, biting, black and white, black hair, blondes, books about drugs, bracelets, brand new, bridal magazines, bright eyes, bubble gum, cheesecake, chuck palahnuik, cinderella, coffee, coffee cups, coheed&cambria, cold, coloring, coloring books, concerts, courage, crayola, crayons, cyndi lauper, damage, dane cook, doing hair, door, dreaming, everclear, family, family guy, farting constantly, fate, fight club, forever and ever, fruit snacks, getting married, green, halloween, handcuffs, happily ever after, hawthorne heights, his hipbones, iowa_80-worlds_biggest_truck_stop, jeans, kindergarten cop, kissing, kitchen appliance naming institute, kitchen appliances, kitchen utencils, lifetime, lip rings, livejournal, love, love spell, making out, marriage, matchbook romance, matt skiba, matthew, mitch hedberg, mix cds from matthew, mixes, montana or oregon?, music, my dad, my hair, my kitchen, my living room, my shoes, my wedding date, nonsmoking, off days, old lady rings, oreo cookies, organizational things, organzing, pain, pens, pictures, popcorn, psychiatry, purses, reggie_and_the_full_effect, road trips, sallys beauty supply, saw, scene kids, shower stuff, silverstein, sleeping, snow, soon, star magazine, stereotypes, stevie wonder, summer 2004, taking back sunday, talking, target, tattoos, tennessee, the 80's, the eagles, the future, the mumpers, the origin of love, the ring, the steer, the used, the weekends, thursday, thursday through monday, ugly clothes, ugly earings, ugly hair, ugly people, underwear, vanilla sky, walmart, wedding planning, wedding rings, wham!, white roses, wig in a box, wine, wrists, yeah evenchally, your car