Fuck it

(no subject)

It's cold here.. colder than I'm used to. I've been riding the neighbor's bike around a lot. Freebasing the hash oil I brought at Andy's everyday.. Saw Shawna and her Loyola friends, bought weed and got high. Hit some fresh cement. Will be there forever. I miss the feeling of being with someone I like, but I don't know if I miss anyone in particular. I wish I could see my dogs. I wish I could see Pat.. Tonight I'm supposed to go out with Andy and his friend, mobbing.. Tomorrow our friend Kris is bartending at this spot with 4$ pitchers of beer. I think she's procured mushrooms for us to eat Friday since it's everyone else's day off. I wonder how that's going to be. I like tripping in a different city. I can appreciate it more.. Just don't want my body parts to freeze off.
Fuck it

(no subject)

Now that it's over, stop calling me, come pick up your clothes
No need to front like you're still with me, all your homies know
Even your best friend tried to warn me on the low.
Fuck it

(no subject)

I really want to leave Los Angeles for a bit. I want a vacation. I want to see my friends. I miss Nadinne. If Gia goes to Oakland to move in with her I don't know what I'll do. Part of me thinks I should go with, get a house with both of them. But maybe it'll be nice to be here alone, maybe then I'd be able to focus on my life. Honestly, I've never felt more focused and clear-headed then when I spent two months alone in Louisiana, pot free. I smoked one cigarette a day as I walked around the water looking at crawfish, snakes, and frogs. I barely ever left my apartment or spoke to anyone, but I loved it. It was perfectly low key. Lately I've been yearning for the south.. Houston, New Orleans, Atlanta, Memphis. Everyone is going to NY. It's too busy. The bay area isn't really my cup of tea. I would be annoyed. The south is dirty, it's real. People are kind. If only I weren't so used to living so comfortably, I could leave and see what happens, I wish I could be so free, but it's not practical. I don't know if I could live comfortably without my dogs. I'm sick of being completely broke. If only someone would buy that dumb romantic comedy I wrote I could go. Practicality isn't for me. I just want to be happy while I'm young. I can worry and sob when I'm old.
Fuck it

(no subject)

The Temperance card suggests that the timing may be right for sharing your feelings, getting together, creating something new or pouring your heart out, but don't expect a quick fix. This could be the beginning of a creative process of cooperation, diversity, sexual compatibility or testing of the romantic waters, so be prepared to go with the flow or to set new relationship goals that can work for the long term. Patience, trust, compromise and self-control can bring moderate, consistent and stable results as long as you are not afraid to get your feet wet.