lord byron

2am epiphany!

I am perpetually single because I do not believe I deserve to beloved!
It all makes sense! 
This super attractive, funny guy with a diploma, a job, and an apartment is into me and I'm ignoring his text messages because I don't think I'm good enough to date him when obviously I am if not better but my wiring isn't right!
How fucked up is that?!
Forever A Scone Blog '12
lord byron

(no subject)

As my 23rd birthday approaches I can't help feeling sad about it - not in a throw-myself-off-a-bridge-oh-god-i'm-old kind of way, but in a small, quiet sort of way that's more about the fact that when I was 16, or 17, or even 18 I thought that by now, surely, I wouldn't be as depressed as I was then. It's kind of exhausting and a little annoying to think that while I've made progress as a student, professionally, etc - this one problem has followed me throughout these years and will probably never go away. 

On my birthday, I will probably do nothing. I haven't any money to go out with close friends, and I haven't any close friends to begin with. I'll probably stay home and watch TV. And it will be OK. My birthday stopped being an event years ago. But I wish, at the very least, that while watching TV or surfing the internet on that day I would at least feel a sort of peace rest over me. But I know that the 29th will be like every other day before it, or after it - the same throbbing ache, the same wish that I didn't exist. Perhaps the only peace I can really achieve is a peace in feeling what I'm feeling and being ok enough not to kill myself for a few more years. 

Sorry this is so morbid. Livejournal was always a good place for this sort of thing. 
lord byron

WOW. PLA-DOW. WATCH OUT, NOW.

 
Woooooooooooooow. I can't believe I haven't posted here since June, and that wasn't really even a proper post, so let's make is April. I guess I got sucked into the bottomless black pit that is Tumblr, but then there was also the fact that my camera was broken and I felt like all I wanted to say was through photographs, and that wasn't happening, so what was the point? I don't know. Near the end of last week I woke up and found, to my surprise, that my mother had randomly bought me a Nikon D3100 as an early Christmas present. So, yeah, there will be a lot more posts coming along now (especially with Tumblr being down and all, haha). 

Collapse )

But enough about moi. How are all of you? I wonder if anyone is even reading this, tbqh, haha. 

Take care, 
Z

~**~
lord byron

(no subject)

I never got to see Ben Whishaw in The Pride. The play ends on the 28th. I don't think anyone can comprehend how intensely sad this makes me.

Maybe next time.
lord byron

(no subject)

I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very resentful towards my mother. Her stupid decisions have ruined my life. I don't care if she was young, in love, whatever. She is a dumb bitch and she shouldn't have fucking had me to begin with.

Yes I return with an emo post because that's what the fuck livejournal is for.

Fuck you.
lord byron

(no subject)

I'm not going to update for a long while. I'll still be around LJ and stuff, reading your journals (I do, even if I don't comment - and I'm not just saying that haha), spending way too much time on ONTD...but if you don't like ~inactive~ journals you can remove me  right now because I've run out of things to say for the moment.

I'll be at tumblr though - http://zebablah.tumblr.com/
  • Current Mood
    so empty
lord byron

flip

I just got a:




Yay! (I guess. I wish I just had my camera. ). What should I record/talk about?

Brb recording myself singing Don't Stop Belivin' then deleting it.