i can't stop hurting :(

I don’t wanna know that something I didn’t say could have saved us.
I don’t want there to be things left undone.
Because maybe if I had kissed you a little bit harder, or held you a little tighter,
I wouldn’t have driven you away.

taken from bradley - Boy meets world pic in there for u too brad

Only two rules-- and you MUST follow

1.You can only say yes or no.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - -- - - -- - -- - - - -- -

1. Taken a picture naked? no
2. Painted your room? no
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? yes
4. Driven a car? yes
5. Danced in front of your mirror? no
6. Have a crush? yes
7. Been dumped? yes
8. Stole money from a friend? no
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? yes
10. Been in a fist fight? no
11. Snuck out of your house? yes
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yes
13. Been arrested? no
14. Made out with a stranger? yes
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes
16. Left your house without telling your parents? yes
17. Had a crush on your neighbour? yes
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? yes
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex (non sexual)? yes
20. Seen someone die? no
21. Been on a plane? yes
22. Kissed a picture? yes
23. Slept in until 3? yes
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? yes!
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes
26. Made a snow angel?yes
27. Played dress up? yes
28. Cheated while playing a game? yes
29. Been lonely? yes
30. Fallen asleep at work/school? yes
31. Been to a club? yes
32. Felt an earthquake? no
33. Touched a snake? no
34. Ran a red light? no
35. Been suspended from school? no
36. Had detention?yes
37. Been in a car accident? yes
38. Hated the way you look? yes
39. Witnessed a crime? yes
40. Pole danced? no
41. Been lost? yes
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? no
43. Felt like dying? yes
44. Cried yourself to sleep? yes
45. Listened to the same song on repeat for over an hour? yes
46. Sang karaoke? yes
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes
48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yes
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
50. Kissed in the rain? no
51. Sang in the shower? yes
52. Made love in a park? yes
53. Had a dream that you married someone? yes
54. Glued your hand to something? no
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? no
57. Been a cheerleader? yes
58. Sat on a roof top? yes
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? no
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes
61. Played chicken? no
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yes
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? yes
64. Broken a bone? no
65. Been easily amused? yes
66. had internet sex? no
67. Mooned/flashed someone? yes
68. Cheated on a test? yes
69. Forgotten someone's name? yes
70. Slept naked? yes
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? no
72. gone skinny dipping? no
73. Passed out from drinking? yes
74. Played a prank on someone? yes
75. Gone to a late night movie? yes
76. Made love to anything not human? no
77. Failed a class? yes
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? no
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours total? no
80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? yes
81. tripped too hard? yes
82. Thrown strange objects? yes
83. Felt like killing someone? yes
84. Felt like running away? yes
85. Ran away? no
86. Did drugs? yes
87. Had detention and not attend it? no
88. Done something illegal? yes
89. Made a parent cry? yes
90. Cried over someone? yes
91. Had sex more than 10 times in one day? no
92. Dated someone more than once? yes
93. Had/Have a dog? yes
94. attacked a performer at a concert? no
95. Own an instrument? no
96. Been in a band? no
97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? no
98. Broken a CD? yes
99. Shot a gun? no
100. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends? yes

(no subject)

when i look at you.. i know everything's going to be alright

You are amazing

...Today is going better. have sooo much homework to do though. Was supposed to have driving class today but it got cancelled due to his death :(

will continue next weekend tho i guess.

today is me and Jason's five months.
yes yes .... FIVE!! lol
not a big number, but i think it's defiently something being happy over. im verrrry happy about it.

i love you
5 months is bulllllllll.. cuz we're forever baby <3


oops all caps. but too lazy to change it. Meh :)

The End.
  • Current Music

(no subject)

lovely horrible day at driving class today....

fuckin horrible.. soo i go in for class and the first couple hours are fine, then go for lunch and on my way back from my lunch break to go upstairs.. my instructor has a heart attack..
.....unbelievable.. ive been in shock all day
so we got dismissed early and then i get a call from the driving school saying that tomorrow's class is cancelled and that he passed on..

i feel so horrible. I mean.. i just saw the poor guy.

R.I.P. Murray Pothier

you were a funny guy <3
  • Current Music

(no subject)

I wish someone that i hate had livejournal.. cuz right now.. i would try to describe my hate for them and let them know how i really feel...

  • Current Music
    suga suga

stolen lol <3

name = Alyssa

nickname = aly, leese, elizaa lol

piercings = ear lobes, tregus

tattoos = yes, one

height = 5'2

shoe size = 7ish

hair color = brown

siblings = stepsister and brother


movie you rented = stuck on you

movie you bought = uhh not sure

song you listened to = everytime- britney spears

cd you bought = i havent bought any lately..i burn cds but i bought something corporate awhile ago

cd you listened to = burnt one

person you've called = umm not sure, probly jason

tv show you've watched = umm i duno

person you were thinking of = Jason


you have a bf or gf = yes

you have a crush on someone = just them?

you wish you could live somewhere else = kinna

you believe in online dating = nope

you believe others find you attractive = umm i guess so

you want more piercings = sometimes

you drink = yes

you do drugs = no

you smoke = no

you like cleaning = no

you like roller coasters = no, defiently not

you write in cursive or print = print

you carry a donor card = nope


food = i loveee italian food, so any pastas and stuff are my favorites

song = dont have a favorite

thing 2 do = be with jason, go out and hang out with friends

thing to talk about = not sure

sports = soccer

drinks = juice

clothes = jeans, comfy shirts/sweaters

movies = Here on Earth, Lion King, finding nemo, save the last dance, etc.

band/singer = Michelle branch, Britney, Lifehouse, Brand new, Something Corporate, etc.

day = Friday, Saturday

cars = anything antique, vw bugs, civic, i like mostly anything nissan too

ever cried over a boy/girl = yepp

ever lied to someone = yes

ever been in a fist fight = sorta


shampoo do you use = pantene

shoes do you wear = adidas,sandals,dressier shoes

you are scared of = a buncha things like heights, motorcycles, being hurt. and a few more lol


of times I have been in love? = im in love now.

of times I have had my heart broken? = once really bad, the other couple times were realy minor

of hearts I have broken? = a couple i thikn

of boys I've slept with? = i sleep in jasons bed all the time hahhaa

of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? three id say, with my life
i have a few good friends tho that i can trust with alot tho

of people I consider my enemies? = not very many

of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = a couple times

of scars on my body? = a few

my past that I regret? = i regret alot of my past.. it was a bad last couple years, this year has been so good to me tho.. in most parts anyways


kiddy movie = the lion king or nemo or little mermaid.. damn.. i dont have a favorite. disney movies are so good

scent = my grandmother's house.. alot of calgon stuff, good smelling cologne on guys

girls name = i have too many favorites, its gonna be hard to pick someday

eye color = green or a pretty brown lol
  • Current Music

(no subject)

i never knew that finding out some things could change your whole life around

I don't know what i could ever do without you...

this is so hard.. i cant be without you. ever.

i love you so so much. you are my everything.

next year we have some thinking to do but this summer will be amazing.

you are amazing.

Andddd i love my friends <3

speaking of friends... the friends finale was soo good. i was like pretty much in tears. Rachel Green and Ross Gellar... awwww :) haha im suchhh a nerd. oo well

Anyways im going out to sit by the fire pit lol <3
  • Current Music
    drunken talk