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Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011, 07:35 am
There's a Feral Cat In My House!

Actually I have two marginally unrelated cat issues, both however are connected to the fact that I recently got patio furniture for our new deck out front.

There's a Feral Cat In My House

Last night I hosted our weekly Gaming night. To inaugurate our new deck furniture, (and due to some people wishing to avoid a possible contagion in the house, but that's a different story altogether), we had a game running outdoors in addition to 1 or 2 games indoors.

We left the front door open so that we would all feel more connected, and since hey, why not. I was indoors when one of the players outside, who was coincidentally playing Rattus, wandered in.

"Are you sure you want this door open?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"I think I just saw a cat run in and up the stairs."
"What?! Impossible!"

Indeed a gray cat had found its way into our abode and scampered up the staircase. I walked up to grab him and put him out. Now there are a lot of cats that hang around in the neighborhood, thanks in no small part to two families on the block that are kind to strays and are well on the way to crazy-cat-lady-hood. Most of these cats are pretty friendly and tame.

This one was not. He looked scared, feral, and dangerous.

He managed to run to the third floor and corner himself in the laundry room. Let this be a lesson to those who go to war without knowing the terrain. It quickly became obvious that he was not going to let me calmly pick him up. And so for the second time in half again as many weeks, I donned oven mitts to deal with local wildlife. They were thick heavy duty oven mitts, a happy orange and white checker in colour, and boy was I glad I put them on.

He hid behind the dryer and attempted to avoid me, but thanks to parenting unruly children I am well versed in feinting right and grabbing left. Soon I had a hissing, angry, scratching, biting cat in my mitts. A veritable fur ball of terror. He surprised me with his verocity and managed to make a jump for the open window. This window is a small half moon thing with no screen. It is at the front of my house just to the left of the deck actually. "Oh no, I am not cleaning up dead cat," I thinks to myself, and quickly grab him as he attempts to lemming his way out of captivity. I am now holding an even angrier, hissing, scratching, biting cat in one hand. Dangling out of a third story window. By the tail.

I want to stop right here and let you all know that I tried my darndest to do right by this cat. I tried to bring that thing back inside and put it out safely. I did. The cat was more afraid of me than the 3 story drop. Thinking back it may have been the same cat that I saved the duck from and maybe he was still angry at me, or was hunting for the duck. I don't know. All I know is that I was weak. The cat once again escaped my grasp and plummeted.

He landed with a dull thud, and I grimly headed down to face the aftermath, hoping that well you know cats are supposed to fall really well, he'll be fine.

"Hey... you guys see a cat land somewhere out here?"
A gamer looks up.
"Yeah. He landed on the stairs and ran off," he said with a calm shrug.
"He ran off?"
"... nice."

No corpse!

The Cat Came Back The Very Next Day

This is a different cat issue actually, and this is where I need your help LJ.

Now that we have the new deck furniture a white and orange striped tabby seems to have decided that it is quite comfortable and has adopted it as a new home. Whenever you walk out of the house there is a pretty good chance that he will be curled up and chilling out on one of the chairs or on a couch cushion. As opposed to the gray beast I dealt with last night, this feline is sedate, friendly, and not afraid of people at all. He refuses to vacate the premises until physically removed or has water thrown on him. Then he will mew pitifully and come back as soon as your back is turned.

I do not want a cat. I do not want any pet. I have kids, they are trouble enough.

LJ, how to I encourage this cat to find another home?

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 08:14 am (UTC)

I guess you seem to be under the impression that people own a cat. In Russia (and anywhere else for that matter) a cat owns you. A cat has servants who wait on him and are therefor eligible to live on the same premises (s)he does. Other than this piece of wisdom I have nothing, I don't have a clue as to what you can do to get rid of this cat.

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)

Pets are good for kids. Besides, as long as the cat doesn't venture into the house, why not let it stay? If you really insist, there's a cat-be-gone citrus spray for furniture I think you can get at pet stores, or just spray essential oils of lemon or orange on the chairs. Most cats can't stand citrus for some reason.

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:22 pm (UTC)

I don't want my deck becoming a refuge for wildlife. Wildlife tends to mark its territory.

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:24 pm (UTC)

If it's a female cat that's not much of an issue...

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)

But if it's a female cat, it could have kittens. I think that's worse...

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:06 pm (UTC)

I know a good exterminator.

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:23 pm (UTC)

But he's so friendly and pitiful... AGH! It's using feline wiles! Kill it with fire!

Wed, Oct. 26th, 2011 02:13 pm (UTC)