You Know You're From Miami When...
The police shoot you for pointing a "walkman" radio at anybody.
The police shoot you 27 times for putting your hand in a sock and waving it at everybody.
The police draw their weapons and shoot someone with a red dot laser pointing device, (even if it's not mounted atop a gun).
The police shoot you for pointing a water-pistol at them.
The police rear-end your car and give you a ticket for going too slow.
You rent a car and the first toll you pay is to the thief waiting around the corner.
You rent a car, ask someone for directions, then get mugged.
You rent a car, get on the expressway and get shot for passing somebody.
You exit the expressway downtown and someone forces you to pay them for cleaning your clean windshield.
You check into a Hotel, call room service and have someone answer, "Ju espeek Espanis"?
You ask someone for directions and they reply, "parlez vous frances" in Spanish.
You go downtown and buy a great camera for $99, then discover that you must pay at least another $1,000 for the rest of it.
You pay the extra $1,000 then get home and find a little sticker on the underside that reads "refurbished".
You hail a cab and ask to be taken to an American restaurant and the driver just stares at you.
You sail away on a starlight cruise and it rains all night.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Miami.
You Know You're Dominican When....
People tell you to stop screaming when you`re really talking
You grew up afraid of something called "El Cuco"
You clap your hands while laughing
You're able to dance without any music
You learned how to dance merengue and bachata before you could walk
Yyou point things out with your nose and mouth
You've gotten beat with any of the following: rubber slippers, extension cord, hanger (plastic or metal), big rice spoon
You waste ALL your money in the summer time buying "frio-frio" RED FLAVOR
Yo've gone outside in rolos and chancletas
Yyour parents go to a little room in the back of your local bodega "pa juga lo numero" of DR
You consider platanos one of the major food groups
You can smell chuletas cookin in your house from down the block
While in your country, you hear people on the block yellin "se fue la luz!"
Your house in DR has an oil lamp in every room
You grew up listening to Fernandito Villalona, Sergio Vargas, and Los Hermanos Rosario
Your dad or uncle claim to be dead broke, yet rock a cell phone and is laced with mad gold around his neck and wrists
You drink Presidente, Brugal, or Mama Juana like WATER
You've gotten whipped by a diablo cojuelo or lechon
You have at least 3 porcelain figurenes in your living room
Your sofas are covered in plastic
All the juices you have in your house are the type that come in powder, and you just mix with water, like Tang
You eat Mangu on a daily basis
You ate rice, beans and some type of meat for dinner yesterday, today and probably will tomorrow
You believe Vivaporu is the cure for EVERYTHING
You've been in a carro publico ;)
You use an old t-shirt, towel, or anything as a mop, and use your feet to mop
You've let some one throw AGUA FLORIDA on you for good luck
Your house on the island has broken pieces of glass to keep away robbers
You refer to every cat as mishu
Your childhood games were called: el escondido, pollito pleibi, apara y batea, el gallo, or that game with a stick and a wheel
Your parents dressed you up for Halloween as a vaquero, campesina, gitana, OR hawallana
Your refridgerator has about 85 magnets on it
All your pots and pans are inside the oven
Your local bodega does lay-a-away/credit plans (fiao)
A frosted beer to you is vestida da novia or una fria
Your parents ever gave you aceite de bacalao when you were sick
You're proud to be Dominican - and you pass these jokes on to all your Dominican friends!
|You are 60% Gemini|