lloyd, i'm ready to be heartbroken (sapphirestar_) wrote,
lloyd, i'm ready to be heartbroken
sapphirestar_

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merlin 3.10; queen of hearts

in which everything is surprisingly lulzy.



+ OH GOD WHAT SO IT BEGINS WITH MORGANA VISION-ING ARTHUR AND GWEN'S MARRIAGE? (THE ANSWER TO HER SUDDEN EVIL - SHE SHIPS ARTHUR/MERLIN AND NOT A/G OBVS!) AND LOLS, I LOVE HOW SHE SEES THIS VISION OF THEM AND THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. I'M THINKING THEIR MARRIAGE WOULD BE IN LIKE TEN YEARS, NOT ONE MONTH. :D :D :D

BUT MORGANA! SHIPPING ARTHUR AND MERLIN! THAT EXPLAINS ALL OF IT! \o/

+ YAY, GWEN'S STILL SUSPISHUS OF MORGANA!

+ MORGAUSE! \o/

+ I JUST, OH MAN. I LOVE THE ARTHUR & MORGANA FRIENDSHIP THING, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT ANYMORE WITHOUT BURSTING INTO RIDICULOUS RAGE, NOT WHEN I KNOW THAT MORGANA WANTS ARTHUR DEAD. D: ... WHICH STILL TOTALLY GOES BEYOND ME, BECAUSE WHAT'S HE EVER DONE TO HER? LOLS THIS SHOW.

+ OH MY GOD CONTINUATION, THEY HAS IT! THEY HAVEN'T TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THE GWEN & MERLIN BEING TOTAL BFFS THING! HOW CAN THIS BE! NO BUT SERIOUSLY, SO MUCH LOVE FOR THOSE TWO. THEY'RE BRILLIANT, AND EVEN THOUGH I THINK ARTHUR AND GWEN HAVE CHEMISTRY THE SIZE OF A TEASPOON, MERLIN BEING ALL CHARMINGLY HAPPY FOR THEM IS JUST REALLY ADORABLE. AW, MERLIN! :D

+ HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA ARTHUR STARING AT HIS REFLECTION IN A SHINY PLATE AND TRYING TO, IDK, MAKE HIS HAIR BETTER? HIS EYEBROWS? IDEK WHAT HE'S DOING, LOL. AND MERLIN AND GWEN CATCHING HIM AT IT, EEE, AND LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF. :D :D :D

+ OOH, I GOTTA SAY, I DON'T HATE MORGANA AS MUCH IN THIS EPISODE. IDK, SHE'S JUST BEING SO WONDERFULLY MANIPULATIVE, I LOVE IT. SORT OF. :D :D

+ ALSO WHAT! AN ARTHUR/GWEN SCENE THAT I DON'T MIND AT ALL! I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO PINING AND SOULFUL MUSIC TO BE HAD, JUST ARTHUR AND GWEN BEING NOT-QUITE-BUT-ALMOST AT EASE WITH EACH OTHER. AND ARTHUR AS A FARMER, LOLOL! :D :D

+ LOLS, SO WASN'T EXPECTING UTHER TO LAUGH ABOUT ARTHUR AND GWEN. :D :D ... BUT THEN HE OBVS GOES ALL YOU MUST NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! I WILL BANISH HER! HONESTLY, ARTHUR, COULDN'T YOU HAVE LIED? NO, INSTEAD HE'S ALL "BUT I ~LOVE HER~" AND JUST, OH GOD. WHAT A DUMBASS. /headdesk

+ "YOU KNOW, MERLIN, YOU COULDN'T KEEP A SECRET IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT." - "YOU'D BE SURPRISED!" AND THEN INSTEAD OF IGNORING IT, ARTHUR GOES "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" AND JUST OASLJF;ALFJKDLJALKFJDLKJLD. AWESOMESAUCE! BUT AW, DESPITE HIS TRYING TO BLAME IT ON MERLIN, IT'S OBVIOUS HE KNOWS MERLIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, BECAUSE WHEN THEIR LITTLE ARGUMENT IS OVER, ARTHUR JUST SORT OF ... DEFLATES, AND IT'S SO OBVIOUS HE WAS ONLY YELLING AT MERLIN BECAUSE HE WAS FRUSTRATED SEXUALLY. WHY AREN'T YOU SEXING HIM UP, MERLIN. AW, THEIR LOVE IS SO OBVIOUS! :D :D

+ OH GOD, SO WHAT, ARTHUR WOULD LEAVE CAMELOT WITH GWEN AND THEN RANDOMLY COME BACK ONE DAY TO BE KING? UM. I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, BUT OKAY. :D

+ AW, MERLIN COMFORTING GWEN. AND MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT GWEN COULD TOTES GO TO EALDOR, STAY WITH HUNITH FOR A WHILE, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE'S TOTALLY FORGOTTEN THAT MERLIN'S GOT A MUM. :D :D :D

+ AND HONESTLY, JUST. HAHA, MORGANA PLANTING THE POULTICE UNDER ARTHUR'S PILLOW TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE GWEN'S ENCHANTING HER, AND SHE CAN'T COME UP WITH A LESS COMPLICATED PLAN? LIKE, OH SAY. KILLING GWEN? SHE DIDN'T SEEM TO HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH IT BEFORE, PUTTING HER IN HARM'S WAY AND ALL.

+ OH MY GOD! THEY MENTIONED GWEN'S FATHER! IS THIS POSSIBLE! JESUS, DID NOT EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN. :D LOL, BUT I'M GLAD THEY DID. ANYWAAAAY, UM. NOT SUCH A BIG FAN OF THAT ARTHUR/GWEN SCENE, BECAUSE SLOW-MO KISSING? ER, YEAH. AAAAAND THERE'S THE WHINY MUSIC AGAIN, OH GOD WHAT IS THIS.

+ BUT OH GOD LOLOLOLOLING MY ASS OFF, BECAUSE WHAT, OH GOD UTHER. FIRST, IT'S OMG, SAUCERY! AND THEN HE'S ALL DON'T WORRY SON, GWEN WILL DIE AND THE ENCHANTMENT WILL BE BROKEN, YOU WILL SEE I WAS RIGHT, AND THEN AFTERWARDS, ARTHUR WOULD BE ALL "I STILL LOVE HER! AND YOU KILLED HER!" AND UTHER WOULD GO "WELL, SHIT."

SERIOUSLY, I LOVE UTHER WHEN HE'S RAGING ABOUT SAUCERY, IT BRINGS ME GRATE LULZ.

+ BUT GWEN SEEING MORGANA SMIRKING, AW YEAH! \o/

+ I LOVE HOW THEY'VE NOW APPARENTLY MOVED ON FROM BEHEADING TO BURNING. SAUCERY! :D :D :D

+ OH MAN, ALL THAT TIME I WAS TELLING GWEN TO TALK TO MERLIN ABOUT MORGANA, AND THEN SHE DID! AW YEAH, MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE, SERIOUSLY. SO AWESOMESAUCE. HERE'S TO HOPING THAT SOMEDAY SOON THEY'LL BE PLOTTING AGAINST MORGANA TOGETHER! :D

+ HEE! "IF WE CAN'T EXPOSE THE TRUE SORCERER ... THEN WE MUST INVENT ONE." MERLIN'S LITTLE FACE WHEN HE SAYS IT! GAIUS BEING ALL CONFUSED! MERLIN'S LITTLE LAUGH! AW, SO ADORABLE! ♥ :D :D :D

AND LOLOL, GAIUS ASKING WHO'S STUPID ENOUGH TO GET CAUGHT WHILE DOING MAGIC, AND MERLIN'S GOES ALL "ME!" AND I KNOW HE MEANT IT IN A WHOLE OTHER WAY, BUT LOL, IT'S SO, SO TRUE. :D :D :D

+ MERLIN DOING COMPLICATED MAGIC! \o/ MERLIN BECOMING AN OLD MAN! MERLIN IN A DRESS ROBE! MERLIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HIS VOICE!

+ AND I JUST, OH MY GOD. MERLIN. AS AN OLD MAN. CHRIST, COLIN MORGAN, HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING? IT JUST CRACKS ME UP, OKAY, I DON'T EVEN. WHAT. THE VOICE! THE EXPRESSIONS! DRAGOON THE GREAT, OH MY GOD WHAT, JUST. LOLOLOL. AND EVEN ARTHUR'S ALL "LOLWHUT" AT HIM, JUST. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY. :D :D :D :D :D

AND HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA MERLIN REALLY DIDN'T PLAN THIS THROUGH, DID HE? LIKE. JUST. SERIOUSLY. YOU'LL NEVER LEARN OF MY EVIL PLAN! THAT'S WHY YOU CAN'T KILL ME! AND THE LOOK ON ARTHUR'S FACE, OH GOD. BRADLEYFACES, I'VE MISSED THEM. :D :D

+ ARTHUR RECOGNISING MERLIN'S EYES, OMG! (THAT'S BECAUSE HE STARES INTO THEM AT THEIR WEEKLY PICNICS, OBVS.) BUT NATURALLY, HE DOESN'T GET THAT IT'S MERLIN, BECAUSE HE'S DUMB LIKE THAT. :D AND LOL, MERLIN KNOCKING ARTHUR OUT! THE IRONY! :D :D

+ BUT I LOVE HOW IT'S STILL SORT OF OBVIOUS THAT IT'S MERLIN - OR, WELL, COLIN - BECAUSE IT'S JUST, IDK. HIS MANNERISMS STAY THE SAME, THE WAY HE TALKS. YOU CAN EVEN RECOGNISE THE VOICE IN SOME BITS. AWESOMESAUCE! \o/

+ ... AND THEN MERLIN CAN'T CHANGE HIMSELF BACK, LOLOLOL.

+ SUCK ON THAT, MORGANA! YOUR EVIL PLAN OF EVIL DIDN'T WORK! \o/

+ BUT LOLOL SERIOUSLY, MERLIN DOESN'T REALLY MAKE A CONVINCING EVIL SORCERER. BECAUSE COME ON, BRING SHAME ON CAMELOT? THAT'D BE HIS PLAN? LOL, YOU'D THINK HE'D WANT TO KILL SOMEONE OR SOMETHING, BUT NO, HIS EVIL PLAN IS TO SHAME UTHER AND ARTHUR. LE GASP! :D :D :D

BUT OASLJFL;ALKFJDLFJA;FLKDJLFJALFKJLDFAKLFDJKFJDL

JUST. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. THAT SCENE WHERE MERLIN AS DRAGOON THE GREAT THE OLD MAN (SERIOUSLY, THAT NAME, WHAT THE HELL :D) TALKS TO UTHER, JUST. OH GOD. "YOU HAVE WRONGED SO MANY PEOPLE ... IN SO MANY WAYS," AND JUST, IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT THAT'S WHAT MERLIN ACTUALLY FEELS, AND JUST, AW. I'M GLAD HE GOT TO SAY IT. BUT THEN LOLOL HE CALLS UTHER A "STUPID, ARROGANT OLD TYRANT" AND UTHER'S FACE! AND THEN THAT BIT WITH ARTHUR, OH GOD, JUST, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. "OH, I HAVE HEARD HOW YOU ... MISTREAT YOUR SERVANTS! THEY DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, BUT DO THEY EVER GET ANY THANKS? NO! YOU ARE A SPOILT, ARROGANT BRAT WITH THE BRAINS OF A DONKEY AND FACE OF A TOAD." JUST, OH MY GOD. BRAINS OF A DONKEY, OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN. JUST. CAN'T EVEN BREATHE PROPERLY, LAUGHING SO MUCH.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

AND THEN THE LOOK ON BOTH UTHER AND ARTHUR'S FACES! LIKE, UTHER'S ALL "... WHUT?" AND JUST, OASLKJFLD. AND GAIUS! KNOWING IT'S MERLIN ALL ALONG, OH GOD. :D :D :D :D :D :D

(SERIOUSLY THOUGH, HOW DID ARTHUR NOT REALISE IT WAS MERLIN AT THIS POINT? LIKE THERE'S ANYONE ELSE WHO GOES AROUND INSULTING ARTHUR LIKE THAT. :D :D)

+ LOLOL, AND MERLIN SAYS THAT GWEN'S INNOCENT, AND THE WAY UTHER SAYS "RELEASE THE GIRL" IS LIKE ALL HE'S THINKING IS "FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE." :D :D :D :D

+ OH GOD, GAIUS TELLING ARTHUR THAT MERLIN'S IN THE TAVERN? HONESTLY, COULDN'T HE HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING NOT SO ... IDK, BAD? LIKE OH, HE'S PICKING HERBS FOR ME, BUT NO, AND NOW HE'S JUST MADE MORE TROUBLE FOR MERLIN. :D :D

+ AW, MERLIN ALMOST CRYING WHEN HE TALKS TO GAIUS. HE'S JUST SO AFRAID, POOR BOY. D: D: D: ... BUT WHAT, HE CAN'T BREAK OUT OF THE DUNGEONS? IT'S NOT LIKE HE HASN'T DONE IT BEFORE.

+ BUT LOL, OKAY. MERLIN TRIES TO BUY TIME, TELLING ARTHUR THAT HE'S DONE OTHER CRIMES, AS WELL, AND ARTHUR SAYS WHAT'S IT MATTER, WE CAN'T EXECUTE YOU TWICE. AND YES, WELL. BUT WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER TO KNOW? WHAT IF HE'S DONE SOMETHING ELSE, AS WELL, SOMETHING EVEN WORSE? :D :D :D :D OH SHOW, ILU.

+ AHAHAHA, I LOVE HOW WHEN MERLIN MAKES HIS ESCAPE, HE JUST RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD AND NO ONE TRIES TO STOP HIM. OH, PEOPLE OF CAMELOT, WHY SO USELESS? :D :D

+ A BIT DISAPPOINTED ABOUT HIS ESCAPE THOUGH. IT WASN'T BAD, AND I LIKED IT, BUT I REALLY THOUGHT THE DRAGON WAS GOING TO SOMEHOW RESCUE HIM, AND WHEN HE DIDN'T, I WAS RIDICULOUSLY DISAPPOINTED. D:

+ MERLIN! HE'S YOUNG AGAIN! :D :D AND LOLOL, TRYING TO GET HIS OWN VOICE RIGHT AGAIN, JUST. SO LULZY, I DON'T EVEN. WHAT. BUT HE DOES LOOK LIKE HE'S TERRIBLY HUNGOVER, SO I SUPPOSE GAIUS' TAVERN STORY WAS ALRIGHT, AFTER ALL. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SAYS THE SORCERER RAN THROUGH A WALL. :D :D

AND LOLOL, "HE'S A DODDERY OLD MAN," REALLY, ARTHUR? YOU COULDN'T CATCH UP WITH HIM, EITHER, SO WHAT'S THAT SAY ABOUT YOU? :D :D :D :D

+ MORGANA AND GWEN HUGGING! BOTH BEING SUSPISHUS! AND LYING THEIR FACES OFF, AW YEAH! I THINK I CAN ACTUALLY LIKE MORGANA'S EVIL-NESS BETTER NOW THAT GWEN KNOWS ABOUT IT. IDK, I JUST LIKE THAT IT'S NOT JUST MERLIN (AND GAIUS) WHO KNOW MORGANA'S GONE EBILZ, AND NOW THEY'VE THE CHANCE TO TELL ARTHUR AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT.

+ IIIIIGNORING THAT ARTHUR/GWEN SCENE OKAY. NOT THAT IT WAS BAD, NOT REALLY, BUT JUST. UGH. BUT YAY GWEN, TELLING ARTHUR THAT HE SHOULD STAY IN CAMELOT, THAT THAT'S WHERE HE BELONGS! \o/

+ LOLOL, GAIUS ACTING ALL INNOCENT ABOUT THE TAVERN STORY. :D :D :D ADORABLE MERLIN SMILE! :D :D

+ ALL IN ALL, A PRETTY GOOD EPISODE. I THOUGHT IT'D BE WORSE, BUT I EVEN ENJOYED SOME OF THE ARTHUR/GWEN, SO AWESOMESAUCE! BUT I'M SO HOPING THAT THERE'LL BE SOME SORT OF MERLIN'S MAGIC REVEAL AT THE END OF THIS SEASON, BUT I DOUBT ARTHUR'S GOING TO FIND OUT SO SOON, AND I'D RATHER NO ONE ELSE FINDS OUT BEFORE HIM. ANYWAY!

+ NEXT WEEK! OH LOOK, IT'S A TOURNAMENT! SOMEONE'S USING MAGIC! WHAT A SURPRISE! BUT AT LEAST THE DUDE DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE A TOTAL BAD GUY THIS TIME, LIKE IT USUALLY IS. I'M QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TO MERLIN TALKING ABOUT MAGIC WITH HIM, THAT'S FOR SURE! :D

... ALSO OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED, IS THAT DUDE DUDLEY? DUDDERS? DUDDIKINS? SO AWESOME IF IT IS, OH MY GOD. :D :D :D :D
Tags: bradley james' ridiculous mancharm, colin morgan is a woobie, tv: merlin
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