Log in

No account? Create an account
Aloysius [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ aяTheяapy | tumblr ]
[ we're all | of walking abortions ]
[ archive | disintegration ]

[sticky post] (no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2016|04:39 pm]
some day we'll find a name for this
burning hole in the contours of
misshaped living and set
the word on fire dancing
in circles drunk tormented

(no subject) [Aug. 30th, 2014|11:24 pm]
eternity blinked at his grey collapsing face
the stare the hunger
the heat of the body
drawing closer and closer
rugged rhythm of
starry frostbitten years
no more exits
just wounds rippling
collapsing the surface
of loosening skin
follow and do not return
the all-knowing stare
of eternity

(no subject) [Jun. 18th, 2014|08:22 pm]
your fickle heart
does it know the inevitableness that's
turning mornings into irons stiff
does it ache when you unveil the world
reassembling in awkward silence of your bedroom
does it cry out in poignant disbelief
still here
still crackling spinning sinking
into the pounding pit of the rib cage
wearily stealing seconds and minutes on end
to ensure fragmented continuity of
your still lifelike being

does it rejoice with newfound depths
of numbing desperation that

that just is
as limitless and finite as the world
that stumps and stumps upon you

(no subject) [May. 18th, 2014|08:44 pm]
don't break
don't break
do you feel another smash coming
how big will it be
don't break
because if you do
nothing will ever put you back together again
i've taken a big one
i know

are you falling
are you in love
you might take a smash
you might break

you will fall and nothing will ever put you back together
i've fallen, i know

you've got to accept that nothing will work
no matter what you do or where you are
because you are you

you've taken a smash
a big one
and nothing will ever put you back
together again
tangled bits and pieces
that ache
that burn

and then I have to ask myself
was it ever whole
can't have been
you are you
broken shattered all the way
bits and pieces in radiant disarray

time to man up
face the facts
nothing ever will put you back together again

that bitter April should have seen the end
of this thinning solemn frame
polluting corrupting
we only make it worse
hurt with love
cut deep with kindness
and affection

cry weep break
take a smash
take a big one
fall apart
nothing ever
will put you back together
i know

(no subject) [Oct. 1st, 2013|02:43 am]
all mud and hungered looks
all broken and breaking
steel cord
cut in deep
cut it off
blueprints loveless
like animals mute surrendered
well-versed in ethics of slaughter


(no subject) [Aug. 21st, 2013|03:17 am]
i am letting go

of the unbecoming dreams
i have reached out to and savoured

of the cargo
disappearing reluctantly in dim waters

of the phantoms
crowding the deck
dragging along
thin lips pursed eloquently
in reproach

of the steering wheel

of the dog-eared map of stars
and quick judgements

untethered Moloch has claimed me
Link1|disappeaяe heяe

(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2013|11:41 pm]
walking again
in the heat
tangled in humidity
which brushes off my skin
bustling whirlpool
of people cars
familiar sounds fill
the eyes
this is not happening
i am not walking home
to an empty flat
of shimmering dust and dead mosquitos
i am not

the bag smelt of fake ocean breeze
humble possessions neatly
arranged on the table
envelopes sealed
words came easily
you all mattered
i was not alone
but locked up in the purgatory
of my skin
immersed in your punishing love
so deep deep under
setting foot on Pluto
more possible than
reaching out boneless hand
for help
for a hug
tender and unforgiving
how does one cry for help
when everyone should be
doing just fine
and life is a basket of ripe savoury peaches
under blinding Tuscan sun
hey how're you?
i'm dying but fine

i need you
not to tell me that all is going
to work out
that tomorrow will get better
hold me as tight as the rope
hanging from the ceiling
and don't let me fall
deep deep under
skin me alive
let me out
give me your numb hand
help me bury
the person i came to be

the tape bit into the neck
darkness was just a word
life didn't start unfolding
no tunnels no lights and no end
bastard heart throbbing
pleading pumping as fast as it ever had done
and the fake ocean breeze
burst the lungs
and one single thought left to hold on to
do not give in

sudden jolt
i am sitting upright
fists clenching in darkness
sweat rubbing against the cheeks
mind is unstoppable force
but the body does what it always does best
it betrays
leaves gasping wailing
in silence

bag is ripped
earthly possessions neatly arranged
on the table
tape still biting into the flesh
and the sunlight is creeping
through the blinds

lemon tastes as bitter
coffee stains spotless stove
again and again
marks on the neck as invisible
as myself
dragging along the quay
Arno as green as newborn
spring grass gently coating the banks
nothing changes
dead man is still walking
he is just fine

(no subject) [Jan. 13th, 2013|05:53 pm]
the piper was labouring away
spitting out albino elephants
two-headed cripples
slouching scholars of nights
in barricaded lonesome rooms
for rent
traders in swirling songs
of pray 
to gods forgotten
a violin with no strings
where is the musician
who'd play the tune 
scribbled between 
evaporating lines
of smoke
rising uncomfortably 
raising the forms
that know not 
what shall become 
of them
how soon they'll perish
and imprint the sky
with what has never been

Linkdisappeaяe heяe

(no subject) [Jan. 7th, 2013|01:06 am]

...Collapse )

Linkdisappeaяe heяe

(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2011|01:14 am]
in streams of savage colours
he ascends to me every night
chanting slithering wailing
unrecognisable under the ancient
mask of horrid paleness
friendless and faithful i stand
beside him and listen
to the whip of his immaculate kiss
turning me to stone

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]