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15 August 2006 @ 12:59 am
In one of the strange twists of fate life seems so keen on producing, I find myself without cat, or domicile.


I know it was you. You can't hide forever, it's impossible for a creature of the limelight such as yourself, so don't even bother.

And where have you hidden my sword, you heathen.
Current Mood: calmcalm
03 June 2006 @ 11:14 am
I don't know what kind of sick joke is going on here with the breakroom supplies, but as of right now, I am leaving the office to get emergency provisions from the coffee shop down the block.

Would anyone like anything?

(Keeping in mind that I have only two hands, and that I am not driving a flatbed truck there. Marisa.)
Current Location: a private, coffeeless hell.
Current Mood: thirstythirsty
24 May 2006 @ 12:20 pm
Summary: Tseng gets revenge for a certain little birthday fiasco. The stakes are raised considerably.

Never mess with someone who knows every nuance of your security system intimately.Collapse )
Current Mood: chipperchipper
04 May 2006 @ 08:11 pm
Just because I can't fire whoever flooded the office with these...atrocities, does not mean you're getting off without consequence. Oh no.

This is war.
Current Mood: frustratedvengeful
20 March 2006 @ 03:02 pm
It's something of a national holiday today, isn't it?

How fortunate that I write these things down on more than one calendar, having learned from past experience how all dated materials seem to mysteriously disappear around March.
Current Mood: amusedamused
25 February 2006 @ 03:41 am
Summary: The aftermath of the President's little scuffle with the undead. Tseng yells at Bob, the head of security some, and then finally finds something for the Turks to do. (Hint, it isn't paperwork.)

The cleanup crew is probably going to go on strike, at this rate.Collapse )

Private to the TurksCollapse )
Current Mood: crankycranky
14 February 2006 @ 08:44 pm
I am starting to suspect a pattern with regards to the holidays, and anonymously gifted chocolate and champagne. Now I know what it's like to be the President, ha ha. Whoever you are, if you feel inclined towards revealing yourself anytime soon, please feel free to come by the office and share.

Although the idea of spending the rest of this godforsaken "holiday" three sheets to the wind is becoming increasingly appealing. What did you girls do? The office is like where Cupid came to die. And when he died he exploded all over the walls, leaving behind only obscene amounts of glitter and a lingering scent of burnt chocolate.

I suppose it isn't entirely a bad smell. ...

I am definitely going to need more coffee.

Message to AlexCollapse )

Message to RufusCollapse )
Current Mood: busy
21 December 2005 @ 01:20 am
I don't know who's been using their Bolt materia inappropriately, but everything I touch today seems to be fused with static electricity. If I am inadvertantly zapped one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions.

Additionally, some of you appear to be operating under the impression that holidays have already begun. I cannot stress enough that this is not the case. For that matter, paying carolers to sing a never-ceasing serenade of Twelve Days of Christmas underneath your boss' window is now a firing offense.

And if I ever find out who did it, I will poison them with mistletoe.
Current Mood: crankycranky
05 December 2005 @ 01:42 am
I'll be putting in an order for new uniforms shortly, seeing as I've had numerous complaints about the relative state of many of your wardrobes. Not to mention that my own shirts seem to be mysteriously devoid of buttons.

...Not so mysteriously, I suppose.

For those of you expecting Christmas bonuses, please direct your questions to the president. I do not have a giant sack of money just lying around waiting for you to pick it up. If I catch anyone trying to break into my office looking for the cheques (SAMANTHA), there will be consequences.

Holidays begin Friday, as far as I know. Until then, I expect everyone to be operating as usual.

I will personally fire anyone caught with mistletoe on the premises.
Current Mood: calmcalm
18 November 2005 @ 09:37 pm
What is this,Collapse ) and why is it in my apartment?
Current Mood: confusedconfused