February 24th, 2011

Purple Scream(def)


Alright Diamond, what just happened?

The dancing and music, and expressing to Wendy my fear of attending due to my whiteness. I added on the can't dance to sort of soften the race discussion that was bound to happen. I don't fear my dancing skills; go figure.

Wendy seemed to say or was going to say that it wasn't a problem, that it wouldn't be an issue, or some other assurance. Margi went off on the dancing thing, and then ...

Alright, so she paired up with Donny and says, jokingly, "us whites gotta stay together... OH NO, someone will think that's racist!" Now why am I so angry?

1. I was already in a strange emotional place due to this morning's event. Pre-coffee angry and the surprise emotional blow of Discovery.
2. Insensitive? I am still struggling to discuss race issues, and to understand whiteness as more than this structural racist thing that it is, but how it affects my life and the lives of those around me. It's a vulnerable place to be. I have the expectation that when I show my fear to these classes, that will be respected. Especially by the instructor.

Oversensitive girl is oversensitive.
I think the cohort gets it, I know (objectively) I wasn't the only one going "but I'm white! I can't go to the latino dance/black & brown solidarity thing! I'm afraid!"
And I wanted to address that, because I wanted the discussion to happen, to have part of the cohort feel included and validated in their discussions on race.