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The Unfathomable Dr. Mongoose

Creating uncomfortable silences since 1981

'ELLO! You've found my insipid tome of cyber-crap! If you followed a pirate map to get here, there is no gold. If you got the directions from a Keebler elf, there are no cookies. And if you got the directions at the bottom of a cereal box, I hope you like the cereal, because there is no prize (not even a decoder ring).

If you don't watch Futurama, Firefly, or The Simpsons, you're probably going to miss most of my references.

I'm not angry- but the drunken gnome with Tourette's and a baseball bat that lives in my frontal lobe is.

No, I do not have a thyroid problem, I am not a cokehead, and I am not rolling. This is just the way I look.

I change my interests like I change my underwear. I don't care who writes in, but if you think "u," "r," "2" and the like are words, please add some chlorine to your gene pool. Start with your drinking water.

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba." -Hunter S. Thompson

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.
24, 8-bit nintendo, a clockwork orange, absinthe, alcohol, aliens, archery, army of darkness, athletic women, audi, aviation, bad religion, battlestar galactica, beer, being a dork, bettie page, biting, black sabbath, bmw, boondock saints, bourbon, british humor, bruce lee, cafe racers, caffeine, canada, cartoons, chaos theory, chuck palahniuk, coffee, danzig, david fincher, energy drinks, fast music, fight club, firefly, first person shooters, garth ennis, german beer, german cars, germany, get fuzzy, ghost in the shell, gir, going fast, gsx-r, guinness, guns, h&k, h.r. giger, halloween, halo, hashing, heavy metal, helicopters, hot rods, huge bar tabs, hunter s. thompson, insomnia, invader zim, ireland, iron maiden, jamie thomas, jhonen vasquez, johnny the homicidal maniac, junkyards, juno reactor, kmfdm, knives, krav maga, laughing diabolically, leather jackets, maine coons, martial arts, mechanical engineering, megalomania, milla jovovich, ministry, misfits, monkeys, moto gp, motorcycles, motorhead, motorsports, mountain biking, movies, muscle cars, my cats, mythbusters, new orleans, ninjas, pit bulls, playing guitar, porsche, post-apocalyptica, punk, rammstein, rat bikes, redheads, resident evil, robot chicken, robots, run lola run, samurai, sarcasm, se7en, serial killers, sharp objects, shim sham, single malt scotch, siouxsie, skateboarding, snowboarding, social distortion, speed, speed metal, speed triple, sport climbing, sportbikes, springfield xd, squee, stanley kubrick, stickshifts, streetfighters, sv650, switchblades, tall women, tattoos, tequila, the damned, the matrix, the road warrior, the simpsons, transmetropolitan, triathlons, triumph, uav, v-twins, video games, weebl and bob, whiskey, white zombie, women, working out, writhe and shine, xbox, zero skateboards, zoe bell, zombie movies, zombies