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Severus Snape's Journal

Thursday, December 4, 2003



I do not even know where to being this blast thing.

Dumbledore has left me in charge of the school again.

He has asked me to save the slytherin students.

Lucius has given some plan to get me back within the fold

I got drunk and gave Lucius a hickey....and slept with him again.

Then I let Blaise Zabini bind me to him.

I honestly can not wait for-- something to happen.

Tired, irritable and Black is still missing which means Lupin will arrive on my doorstep in the near future.

Must also get rid of Bole and find a new assistant.

Current mood: tired

Monday, December 1, 2003


Professor Snape stood at the front of the class. Exhausted and pale he scrawls out the potion for the day. A simple pepperup that will go out to the infirmary if made correctly.

Assignment Given he sat at his desk and attempted to ignore the 'students' as much as possible in favor of getting his own work done.

"Have at it and for the love of Merlin, be quiet."

Current mood: tired

Sunday, November 30, 2003

6:15PM - Private


they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub the unforgiven

I am exhausted. There is simply no other word to describe the state of severe and all consuming lethargy that has gripped me. The Headmaster did his duties admirably well, but he did not teach, attend order meetings, death eater meetings, counsel a quarter of the school, act as parent to another quarter that rarely overlaps the first, perform rescue missions, and have an overly energetic teenager living in his quarters.

Speaking of whom I really must develop some sort of potion so he won't pass out and become a brainless minx in heat when he's in Draco's presence. or pass out. I must also find a barrister and arrange for his care in the event of my death. I won't have him going back to his father, and I won't have him entirely dependant upon anyone for his care.

I am... struggling. I talked to Lucius last night. There is some plan in the works to return me to Voldemort's good graces, and he won't tell me what it is. He knows. He knows I hate the entire messy affair. He also knows I am going to slip and cautioned me to be careful.

I am going to fall if I do not get some rest soon. Real rest, not the chemical substitution. Gods I do not want to know what those stimulants are doing to my body and mind. Actually I know and it's not a pretty image so I simply refuse to think about it.

Tired. Too tired to think at all, much less clearly. I miss the days when life was simple and I didn't feel the need to atone for my sins with my blood and pain and death. They all wonder why I'm a bitter and unpleasant man. Bah. I'd like to see the little brats even attempt to grasp just the kind of strain I'm under.

I'm surprised I'm not entirely mad.

Then again I may be. I asked Lucius to kill me if it become invetiable. I told Lucius I didn't sleep with narcissa. I told him it was an imposter. For some reason I'm still alive. Then again the man always did take good care of his property.

Lucius, Voldemort, Dumbledore, Blaise, Hogwarts, Potter. They all have a hook in me, own a piece of me and I owe them all.

I just don't think there's going to be much less after they're finished squabbling and tearing at my cold stiff body.

I need a drink, a shower, and 72 hours uninterrupted sleep.

Given that that is an impossibility I'll take another stimulant, write up a will, grade 7 years worth of essays, and go through this month's fiscal reports that are due for the board of guvenors.

Then I will get up and go teach class.

Current mood: tired

Friday, November 21, 2003

6:59AM - Public Announcment to All within Hogwarts


By now the lot of you cretins have learned that I am in charge of Hogwarts. I'm sure you're all as thrilled as I am With luck Headmaster Dumbledore will return in the near future and we can each return to our respective roles. Until that time you will just have to deal with me.

If you have a serious problem, please come by my office. I'm not moving into Dumbledore's. I'm sure he'll be back far too quickly to make that worth my time. I realize that many of your student advisors are currently unavailable. In the event that you have some sort of crisis, I suppose I am forced to offer to listen to your teenage angst. I will.

What I will not do is given you candy while I do so. I may give you something else, but I doubt you'll find it nearly as pleasant.

Mister Bole will be teaching all Potion's classes until further notice. Yes, Bole, I realize that I've only now told you this. Merry Yule.

Due to current circumstances I am instructing Prefects to report anyone caught out after curefew directly to me. In fact, bring them to me if they are caught. No one is to leave these grounds. If you attempt to sneak away from the school, and are caught, you can be sure you will regret it.

Do what you're told and this will be over as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Attempt to defy me and you'll wish you'd never been born.

{{If you need me PrfSeverus. Snape wants out to play more. }}

Current mood: accomplished

Monday, November 17, 2003


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Current mood: accomplished

Wednesday, October 29, 2003


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