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Recollection of thoughts.. [27 Oct 2004|02:38am]
[ mood | determined ]

After all the event inside the castle, I had hurried outside. I must admit, I was a bit nervous to see what I would get myself into as I exited the castle doors. I felt almost surprised when I saw Queen Garnet's General Beatrix fighting alone. I felt almost obliged to help this castle. They were on the same side as me. We were from almost the same world... but not quite. For that moment, it really felt like Beatrix, Zell, the others from this world, Zell's and my own were one. I felt good and accomplished after helping General Beatrix keep away the enemy. The enemy seemed to have hurt General Beatrix, I hope she's alright. I wish I could have done more to keep her from getting wounded. Another man that Beatrix seemed to know showed up amidst the fight. He also helped. After the enemies were released, Beatrix headed indoors. I hope she takes care of her wounds well.

Now I am standing outside the castle. I feel alone. Sure, there are guards out here but, I can't say anything to them. It doesn't feel right. I don't know where I should go now. Or whom I am supposed to help next. I want to be needed somewhere. I want to help with whatever I can.

Where is the Queen, is she okay? Where's Zell? I really hope he's alright. And where's Cloud? Aeris? Vincent? I miss them all... Please, let them be okay.

And please, let me find my way. I don't want to be sitting here on the sidelines doing nothing. I want to be out there helping.

Comments: lock my heart.

The explosions in Alexandria. [25 Aug 2004|02:22am]
The amount of people that I have met in this short period of time is amazing. I cannot believe that so many people are on the same team and getting along rather decently, from what I have seen. I do still worry about Cloud.. I do hope he is okay. I have not seen him since that day in Midgar, when I saw that Aeris was back. I saw her again in the place called Alexandria.

Alexandria is a beautiful castle and town. The Queen, Garnet, is a very beautiful young woman. She looks to be younger than I am, but seems to have everything under control. I admire her. I wish I could be as collected and able to lead as well as she does. Maybe it's because I have never been given the chance to lead something like she has been given.

The explosion was unexpected... It happened so suddenly. At first, I didn't really understand what was going on. Earthquakes crossed my mind at first, to be honest. But when I saw Queen Garnet's facial expression... I knew it was more than that. I cannot beleive she stayed so calm, knowing that her castle... her home was being demolished right in front of her. With her friends, herself and tons of guests in it. She still stayed calm.

I hope everyone is okay. I wish there was more that I could do in this situation, but the only thing I can really do is wait to be told what I need to do.

I can't wait til this is all over. When it's over... I get to go home... Nothing more will be ruined and destroyed.. I can see Cloud again, have a reunion with Aeris and all my friends. And I can go out to dinner with Zell.

The future sounds so good when I think about it like that, but I know it's really much further away than I hope.
Comments: lock my heart.

The future.. [11 Jul 2004|12:28am]
I have met many people... all of them unique and different. All of them interesting. I hope to see them all again. I hope that in the end I will still remember them all. I met up with Reno earlier today... Strangely, it was good talking to him. I had a good time. In a way I wish I had spent more time talking to him. I suppose--or rather I hope I will get the chance to later on.

I saw Elena while I was with Reno. I don't really hate the girl. I think we just clash. I'm sure she's a fine woman... too bad she's awfully snobby and rude. Maybe one day we can talk and I can get to know her better.

I am alone now. I don't know where to go, or what to do. I feel I should just wait... Wait for someone... Wait for a sign.
Comments: lock my heart.

Mysteries, Troubles, Confusion... [25 May 2004|02:18pm]
It seems that there is much more going on then I have expected.

And it all started in Aeris' church. I met two new people, Selphie and Squall whom come from a different world. They have come in threw the rift, which happened to be located in the church. Squall and Selphie are both very nice, and very opposite of eachother. Squall, stoic and quiet. He dresses in leathery clothes, which must make him very hot down here in the slums during the daytime. He fights with this strange weapon that seems to be half-sword, half-gun. Selphie, she's very young--or rather she seems like it. I have no idea what age she is, but I would guess she is about fifteen or at the most seventeen. She fights with oversized nunchaku that look way too big for her small frame. She's dressed in bright yellow and has insanely flippy hair. She's spunky and reminds me of Yuffie...

Vincent then showed up while we were in the church, it felt good to see a familiar face. We left the church with Squall and Selphie in tow and watched something destroy a part of Midgar. We eventually came across more people... and met Alcarin, she told us about Seygora--her brother that wants to destroy our world. We must defeat this Seygora.

I saw him... and by him I mean Cloud. He seemed different, but not in a bad way, really. I was rather just happy to see that he was okay. Nanaki was there too, it was good to see him. I also met Squall's girlfriend [?], Rinoa, I'm thinking that was her name. She seemed nice, Selphie seems to be good friends with her. I immediatly realized Selphie and Squall were NOT a couple like I had assumed at one point. There was another fellow, Amarant. He was a bit creepy, but not too bad.

The weird part-- Aeris is back..and so is Sephiroth. It was so awkward to see her again.. I felt so guilty, and I felt the pain of losing her all over again. I wanted to say so much more to her, but maybe it was better this way. Sephiroth seems different as well, but I don't really know...nor do I wish to.

We have split up a bit now. Vincent, Selphie, Amarant and I attended my bar--the others have went off on their own. We have come across Hojo, oddly. It was awkward as well.. I had to stop Vincent from attacking him.

I hope to find out what is going on, soon. I want to find this Seygora.

But--now I worry. Will those that have been resurrected, be dead after the fight?
Comments: lock my heart.

[11 Apr 2004|11:10pm]
My heart tells me to go. I cannot bring myself to even leave here, I don't want to look at the past, but it calls to me. I must go, I must go to the church, I must just..look around. I haven't been out much further than the bar and the surroundings near it.

Will Cloud be here? Will I ever stop feeling so insecure??
Comments: lock my heart.

A first good post. [05 Apr 2004|10:07pm]
[ mood | content ]

Well, I've got this thing working. I've adjusted a few things, but if it ends up being too hard for some to read, please let me know and I will change it.

Now that, that's out of the way.. I've been working more and more. At the bar, of course. We get some weird customers in there *shakes head* ...and trying to fix up Midgar more, with some others around here. I guess there is a group of people starting a "Help Midgar" program or something. I've been taking care of Marlene a bit more too. It's quite a hassle with all of this stuff and I don't really have time for myself. But finally, I have a small break. Which is why I am posting here. Although, I should be getting to bed. I haven't seen Cloud or anyone lately either. Usually, Cloud would stop here in the mornings and say hi to me and Marlene, as well as whoever else was around that he knew too. But...he's just stopped coming. I worry about that boy sometimes.

I've also been thinking about stopping by the church where Aeris used to be. I have been having dreams about her death over and over again, except that sometimes the dream rewinds it self. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I see it happen backwards. And in the end, her eyes open and sparkle green, and she smiles at me. It's almost an evil smirk. I don't quite get it, but it makes me curious. If only I had the time to stop by...

I know some people thought I was really jealous of Aeris, but really, I only just envied her a little. She became so close to everyone. Innocent and nice, her beautiful green eyes were always shining with love for everyone. I wished I could be like that... And I still feel bad, wishing I could tell everyone that I wasn't heartless and I did care. I hope, and wish, the others understood. I often sware when her death occured, that I could feel the eyes of everyone else boring holes into my skin. I know I felt jealousy when she went on that date with Cloud. But, I was over with it as quickly as it started.

Wow, I'm sorry, I don't really know what got me on that tangent. I'll end that now.

To Cloud... if you're around.Collapse )

Comments: 2 threw away the key.. - lock my heart.

o.o? [04 Apr 2004|01:21pm]
[ mood | curious ]



go journal go! ^___^


Comments: 4 threw away the key.. - lock my heart.

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