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[03 Apr 2008|03:40pm]
I was reading Brea's livejournal and it made me want to update mine. I'm sure 0 people read this now, but whatever. Alrighty, so for starters I'm now living in Brooklyn, NY. It's a good time. I work at Barnes & Noble and hate it, but it pays the bills. I'm starting to go on more auditions. Last year, I didn't go on a lot. It's hard to balance supporting yourself and auditioning. I'm in a relationship with a boy named Adam. We've been together for a little more than a year. He=amazing. I'm actually paying attention to the world now more than I ever use to. It scares me a lot. Yesterday I read that NY apartment prices keep rising.. now up to $1.7 mil even though salaries are slowing down. EEH. Ignorance is bliss. I've discovered a different type of yoga (Power Vinyasa Flow at Yoga To The People) and it's fantastic. A lot different from the yoga class I took at IV. That's all. I'm sure there is more, but that's pretty much the gist of things.
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stop the world i want to get off. [23 Oct 2006|04:39pm]
i am so confused in my life right now and a huge part of me just wants to give up. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO DO ANYMORE. all my life i was told to follow my dreams, but now when i'm actually about to, every fucking negative thing comes out and i feel like they don't even support me. i was talking to my dad today, and yes i can understand how he may be hesitant, but then he goes and says, 'you're going to be stuck with all these payments when you're done and with what you're trying to do, i see you having a hard time getting a job' I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! i am not smart enough in english, math, science, or any "safe" thing to make a career out of. i am always told 'make sure to have a back up' and i actually do and then i get asked why i'm keeping it (disney) around? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? honestly! i'm scared out of my mind. i have tried to think of other things i could go into and i just really don't know what there is. trust me, i wish i liked something 'safe' enough to make it my career! there would be so much less stress. i'm just really getting sick of all of this shit.
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[12 Oct 2006|10:43pm]
it drives me insane when someone makes fun of something that i like when then know i like it. they just do it to get on my nerves, why? why would you purposely want to piss someone off? i just don't get it.

ughh i'm too frustrated to post.
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[09 Oct 2006|10:53pm]
i purchased some arizona green tea w/ ginseng and honey today and it's pretty amazing i must say. i think i'll have to drink it more.

i'm going to try reeeallllyyy hard to cut down on my soda intake, if possible not even have any in a day. it's going to be hard, but i'm going to try to increase my will power hehe. someone told me that they gave it up for lent once and then afterwards they had a drink of soda and it didn't even taste good anymore. i want that to happen to me! i'm not going to wait until lent of course b/c that isn't for a long time.

ok sooo i haven't posted in like 18 years.. ok a little less than a month, but still, long for me. what's new what's new....

i'm in a new relationship with alex flores. he's fun.

i'm not going to quit sam goody. i've been getting more hours and then with the scholarship and tuition money i got from iv, i'm really not that screwed with money anymore.

sam goody will soon be turning into fye.. actually we're expecting the change either this week or in the weeks coming.

my life really isn't as boring as it seems lol.

you can't choose what mood you're in or what music you're listening too anymore, boo.

i need to go practice piano, so i won't be rambling.
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[14 Sep 2006|04:25pm]
i say this all the time, but i really do need to start treating my body better. i've been feelin pretty worn down the past couple of days. i haven't been doing terrible. i have been taking walks, but not like slow walking, quick walking. i've been drinking a lot of water. i need to get some vitamins or something in my body... eat some fruits and vegetables perhaps. i need to start building my muscles too. do do do. i was watching some show yesterday and this girl was going to harvard and then decided to get her perfect body and enter in a fitness competition. she wasn't that bad before, but in the end she was very well defined and had great muscles. she goes to harvard and has a great body.. not fair, not that i really want to go to harvard anyway. i'm having writer's block AGAIN with my stupid college essay for marymount manhattan college. err. i'm gonna go eat a banana.
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[07 Sep 2006|10:53pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

so here's the dl kids. i have been kinda really stressed the past couple of days, but now the clouds are clearing.

why i have been stresed: i need a new job. i am getting 4 hours a week.. next week i actually have none. money is running low. ah stress. plus, there were some productions coming up at school that i was interested in doing, but wasn't sure if i could and get a new job and yada yada.

how the clouds have cleared: so i ended up auditioning. i didn't think it would hurt, if i get a role i'm sure a job would still hire me. i only auditioned for one of the shows though (there were 2) b/c i need a new job and what not... today one of the directors called me and told me i made the show that i auditioned for, but he really really wants me to do the other one also b/c i'm strong in singing and dancing and that if i do it i will also get a theatre scholarship (not everyone in the cast is). i asked him about rehearsal times and what not and it really wouldn't be that time constraining, so i would still be able to get a new job, unless the job is a real douche. hooray. yea, so my mom and i are going to go job hunting for me tomorrow. i already have a bath and body works app. so i'll fill that out and turn that in.


i want pizza.

that's it kids. have a good night.

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[07 Sep 2006|02:15pm]
soo i upgraded my journal to the not paying, but higher then the lowest thing, i forget what it's called and now they added damn advertisements to my page. i don't want them. i just wanted more user pictures, but i don't care now because i find the advertisements annoying. oh well.

i haven't exercised in 2 days i believe. i feel yuck. i was doing quite well actually. i don't have time too today though, i actually have to work. what an uncommon feeling.. work. man, i need a new job haha, i haven't worked since August 27. tomorrow i shall exercise.

i'm writing this because i'm having writer's block for my college application essay. laaa.

i would never have sex with kevin fenderline.. well for starters.. yea, he's disgusting and 2- pretty much whoever he has sex with, they immediately are pregrant. i mean, shar jackson- 2 kids w/ him. britney spears- 2 kids with him. nooooo thanks.

david beckham is hot. i don't know if that's how you spell his last name, but whatever.

ok, that's all.
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[03 Sep 2006|01:41am]
[ mood | happy ]

the internet is finally working on all the computers in the house, again! i've missed having the internet in my room; however, i am now much less addicted to the internet.

today was pretty great.

reason 1- the internet works again.

reason 2- the entertainment center that was put in the middle of my room while i was away in florida is now finally out of my room!! it's now a little messy because things were moved around and what not, so tomorrow i will be cleaning and organizing, i cannot wait.

reason 3- alex and i finally kept our word and actually did something while he was home from college. we always said that we would and we never did. tonight we went for dinner. it was real swell.

reason 4- i actually started watching pirates of the caribbean. i only made it to chapter 14 though, but for good reason. elyse, elecia, and heather were home and having a little get together at elyse & elecia's, so i went over to visit.

today was ggreattt. yesterday was great too. why you ask? because i saw Wicked with miss rachel and her dad! :) love it. i was actually very VERY disappointed in fiyero. he was cute, but i did not like his voice at all and his acting was kinda lacking. now i say, if he was able to get the role of fiyero, i'm pretty sure he was even in wicked on broadway too, then i can make it in theatre haha. oh yea.. i just looked at his bio, he was in the original broadway cast of wicked. our elphaba was great. she was in the obc of wicked, too. on the soundtrack she sings "no one cries, they won't return" and "i hear that rebel animals are giving her food and shelter" i liked our glinda, but i liked the glinda i had the first time better. one thing that drove me crazy though was, the two girls sitting in front of me. they kept on tilting their heads and twirling their hair. drove me crazy i tell you. they got up and left right before "defying gravity" though. i don't know where they went.. they came back second act, but i didn't care because defying gravity is the best part and i didn't have the two annoying girls sitting in front of me. hehe. as always, it just inspires me to became that much better and make it as my career.. seeing wicked that is.. not the annoying twirly hair girls :)

typing this entry feels good. i've been lacking entry-doing ever since the whole internet mess up. not that anyone reads these anyway, so it really doesn't matter. ok, that's all.

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[29 Aug 2006|03:17pm]
[ mood | content ]

today, rachel bailey and i went out to breakfast because she is leaving me. when i was pulling out of delaney's, i got in a car accident with a pole. rachel left about 10 seconds before me, so she was already down the road. i called her and told her to come back. i didn't want to move the car because i didn't want to scratch and dent it even more. plus, i couldn't open my door, so i couldn't see what was going on. while i was on the phone with rachel, a delaney's worker was in the parking lot and came up and asked me if i needed help. she went and got her manager. the manager was one of the nicest guys i've ever met. he helped me move my car without hurting it anymore than it was already hurt. i had a piano lesson in like 10 minutes too and i didn't know the phone number to the room, so i called norm's office and left a voicemail asking him to go tell mary that i would be late. luckily, he got my message. i was pretty scared to tell my dad, but when i did, he really didn't care, which made me happy. he said that he was going to name me 'crash jr.' because my mother tends to get in more than a few of car accidents. go mee. i didn't hurt the pole either luckily, so i don't have to pay anything.

i finally watched part 1 of the grey's anatomy season finale last night. i've had those on my computer since living in florida and i'm now just watching them. i plan to watch the second part today. i bawled the first part and i hear the second part is even sadder. i hear it's sad but fantastic. i'm pretty proud of myself that i've lasted this long without it being spoiled for me.

okkk what else. nothing really. i'm gonna get something to eat and then watch the second part of grey's.

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[27 Aug 2006|12:18am]
i haven't updated in forever. the reason is because the internet only works on my brother's computer because there is this huge mess with the router or whatever.

soo what's new with me? nothing really. school has started. it's fun i guess. i probably have already mentioned what i'm taking, so i'll skip that. i really enjoy acting, piano, and voice lessons. the other two classes are not bad.

blah blah i don't feel like typing anymore.
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[12 Aug 2006|01:17am]
i ate horribly today. i feel like i'm going to throw up. bleehhh.

congrats to my sister for getting the job she wanted!! :)

tonight i went to elyse and elecia's house. it was fun. matt koster, justin i think his last name is forney, and miss nelle were there. it was good night indeed besides the fact that we were outside and it was cold. i was wearing long sleeves and i ended up borrowing a hoodie and blanket from elyse. i was finally content after that.

today- august 12th- is my mom's birthday. happy birthday to her.

i really shouldn't eat this much junk in one day. i really do feel like crap. i need water. drinking water always helps me feel better.

i also need to clean my room b/c i've let it go to heck the past couple of days. i would say i would clean it later todayy, but it probably won't happen b/c it's my mom's bday and i have to work at 5(pm), so we'll probably do something during the day. i don't know if i work sunday, so my room may not get clean for a while. good thing i have no plans of having anyone in here within the next couple of days.

that's all folks.
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[07 Aug 2006|05:26pm]
well friends, beauty and the beast is over. it was a darn good time. for pictures, go to this link:


i always hate the time right after a show is over. i usually get real sad and there is no exception for this show. what makes it even worse is that i probably won't see a lot of these people ever again. a lot are going back to college and if they aren't, they live in princeton sooo.

but now it's time to get ready for my next audition. i'm auditioning for The Last Five Years being held at Stage 212 directed by my buddy Mr. Neal Phelps. i will be auditioning august 26th. yep yep.

i realllyyy need to do laundry. there is a good amount of things i can do, but i don't feel like doing the majority of them. i really need to finish reading wicked, but it's just such a bad book, i am not motivated to do so. i'm pretty close to the end, i just gotta pick it up and go. what else.. yes, i need to make my bed.

i love my grandma very very much, but it drives me crazy when she comes up and tells me everything i should do. for ex: i have my flowers from beauty and the beast in a vase and she always asks if i filled the water and then tells me if i don't give them water, they are going to die. i'm like yes grandma, i know if i don't give them water they are going to die.. don't worry i just gave them water like an hour and a half ago. and then she was like 'well one time i came up and they had no water' ahh.

school starts next week. i'm kinda happy but at the same time i'm loathing it.

reasons i'm happy-

i'm taking voice, piano, and acting lessons. that makes me happy.
also, the sooner i start, the sooner i'm done. that makes me REALLY happy.

reasons i'm loathing it-

it's ivcc.

k i'm done. wait no i'm not. rhiannon luft why did you not come see beauty and the beast? not only do you know me, but you know the director/wardrobe as well! hehe i'm kidding, i'm just giving you a hard time.
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[02 Aug 2006|04:44pm]
i need to learn how to make hashbrowns. i tried again today and it's better than my hashbrowns have ever been, but still not as good as when my mom makes them. sad. i also need to get ready for rehearsal. i must leave in like umm.. 25 minutes and i'm pretty much not ready. i'm clean, but my face and hair isn't ready. llaaaa. ok. i have more things i can say, but i really need to get ready.
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[31 Jul 2006|12:27am]
[ mood | excited ]

hiii! i sure do have exciting news for this post. so i come home from rehearsal tonight and unfortunately i had a headache. i saw that my dad bought a new laptop. it is real nice. so yea we talked about it for a bit. then he was like, so when i leave (for vacation) you better not steal it and i was like oh i won't and then he leaves and goes into his room and then comes out with a box and says "i thought you might like one for yourself" yayyy so my dad bought me the same one he bought. it is an early college graduation gift. he said that he bought my sister a laptop when she graduated and he thought it would be smarter if he bought me one before i leave iv to transfer, that way i would get more use out of it. it's so pretty. i'll take a pic of it later. it's an hp and it's a widescreen annddd i love it. it's silver on the outside, but black inside. i named it cohen b/c i love the character mark cohen from rent and i love the entire cohen family from the oc. i'm excited b/c now when i have to do work at iv, i don't have to go to the computer lab anymore, i can just go to the library w/ my laptop b/c they have wireless internet there too. good dealll. love it. i'm still getting use to the touch pad from the mouse, but i think i'll get use to it quickly. i'm keeping my other computer hooked up though right now just b/c all my music is still on it and i have to transfer them to this computer. this computer even comes with a remote! it's for the dvd player. i don't think the remote works for anything else.. i'm not sure how it could, but if it did, that'd be neat.

today was a good day overall. i worked 11-3 then had rehearsal 4-8ish. tomorrow all i have planned is to perfect beauty and the beast until i go to rehearsal and work on beauty and the beast some more at 6pm. i have to write my little bio thing. i've never had to write a bio. this is pretty much the biggest role i've ever had.. i mean i was pretty much the female lead in my group interp play my junior? year, but that doesn't really count b/c it was more of a contest play. then i had snow white, but yea no bio and while we had a good amount of shows, it wasn't a huge production. my sister is prepared to help me b/c i want to make it sound good and wellll i'm not a horrible writer, but she is 100x better than me.

ok, i think that is all for now.

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[28 Jul 2006|02:16am]
[ mood | Ansie ]

my livejournal is pretty now thanks to brea. THANK YOU BREA! :)

umm what to write about. i've been pretty busy the past couple of days with work and then rehearsal. tomorrow and saturday i have nothing to do, so my plans are to finish cleaning out the buick, finish reading wicked, practice more beauty and the beast, clean, vacuum, yep should be fun. i was gonna say something and then i blanked.

wednesday and thursday were real fun. wednesday i had rehearsal and rehearsal ended at 8, but then myself, mrs. potts (rachel), gaston (ryan), and maurice (mark) stayed after and ended up talking until 11. then tonight we just went out to taco bell and then to rachel's (mrs. potts) house after rehearsal. this time we had cogsworth (pete) and monsieur d'arque (bob) with us. i got home a little after 1am.

so speaking of beauty and the beast...


yep. i'm getting ansie. i can't sit here anymore.

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[23 Jul 2006|07:12pm]
i didn't realize how long my hair has gotten since january until i see people i haven't seen in forever. for ex: i saw some friends today when i was at work and they weren't sure if it was me so they didn't come up to me and then i saw them and i was like hi!! so yea. they said they kept on looking at me to see if it was me, but my hair was so much longer it through them off. they make me laugh.

yesterday at work, some customer asked me for my number and i told him i have a boyfriend (which i don't) and he still would not give up and i then said that i didn't think i could give my number out at work, so i went up to my boss debbie, and i was like debbie tell me that i can't give my number out at work, and she was like, you can't give your number out at work and i was like thank you!! and then i told him and he was like, oh. well do you go to iv? and i said yes, and then he starts rambling and eventually ends up at, well maybe if i see you there i'll get your number. let us hope that he does not see me there. then he left and 10 minutes later comes back and asked me what time i get off work, and i told him 9:30 and he was like ohh.. and then says something and leaves again. then today at work i saw him walk by the store and i was like oh goodness do not let him come in this store! and he didn't :)

i need to clean. i believe i will tonight.

oh, so tonight after rehearsal, dane, rachel, rachel's mom, jennifer, and myself (all in the cast or helping with beauty and the beast) went to this cabaret type thing that festival 56 holds after their shows. dane and i.. well dane played the piano and i sang 'home' from B&B. i won't like, i was pretty nervous. you know when a lot of people just look so confident and and look at you with what feels like a stare down? well yea.. most of the people were doing that to me and i'm like grreaattt. Some people that did not have this look were Mrs. Boylan (my honors speech teacher), her husband, and their two kids were there. they are all into theatre, well i don't know about the kids, but you know. i met her husband on the peer helpers retreat my senior year. he is pretty awesome. he saw us and came up to us to talk to us.

i want to gain the ability to appear really confident. i mean, i have confidence in myself, but i'd like to have more, but i don't want to come off as cocky, because i'm not. are these people really confident or can they just act it well? i would like to have confidence in myself. how does one accomplish this? any pointers anyone?

what else can i ramble about..

my mom got a new car. it's real nice. i like it a lot.

ok. i don't know what else to say.
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[20 Jul 2006|02:41am]
[ mood | fantastic ]

sooo today was a good day. i did a lot and accomplished a lot. i woke up this morning and without hesitation i started my day. ate breakfast, got ready, and went to sam goody because i am brilliant and requested the wrong day off.. so i fixed it. then i brought some clothes i didn't want to salvation army. thennn i hung out and had fun. i called to get my family's tickets for beauty and the beast and then i called the disney people and asked them to fax over my paperwork from my class i took there, some "student training evaluation" or something, i don't know. i think all it said was i passed the class and stuff. who knows. they didn't get faxed to me, they got faxed to ivcc b/c that's where they belong. then i came home and relaxed and then got ready and went to see Footloose at Stage 212. It was good, i enjoyed it. saw a lot of people i haven't seen in forever. then i went to steak and shake w/ abby mckee and nikki wessman. we hung out there for a while and then cha and stephanie? don't really know how to spell her name walked in and we were like hi! we know you, so they came and talked to us then we left.

OMG, Neal.. in Footloose, the first number.. so I'm watching it and didn't even realize he was in the number and then I look and I see him wearing this black mullet wig.. it killed me, i started laughing so hard and then he saw me laughing and it was great. after the show i made him go get the wig and take a pic w/ me. my camera is dead, else i'd upload it and post it. maybe another time. oh, there was another time he killed me.. he was told do to 30 push ups and he started to and then when the person looked away he just fell to the floor and just layed there. too funny.

i'm kinda cold. so you think you can dance was on tonight. i'm pretty excited to watch it and if it wasn't 3:05 in the morning i would watch it now. so i think i'm going to read my horrible wicked book and go to bed.

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[19 Jul 2006|01:44am]
i need to get a hair cut. i don't need one, i just want one. i want to get more layers. i'm going to wait until after beauty and the beast though b/c i don't know how i'm wearing my hair and i'm sure i could do it whatever way they wanted it with layers anyway. meh, it's a thought.

speaking of beauty and the beast, i always told rachel gorenz that she needs to make sure that my gold ball gown is beautiful. she's playing mrs. potts, but also kind of working w/ costumes too. yesterday she left me a myspace comment telling me how she found my dress and that it's fantastic and i'm going to love it and she loves it too and she wants to somehow get rid of me, take my role so she can wear the dress and that she loves the dress so much that she would get married in the dress. i'm excited because by the sounds of it, it sounds fantastic. i should be able to see it on thursday, :)

i would like my lj to be pretty. BREA IF YOU'RE READING THIS, WILL YOU HELP ME? for those who do not know, Brea is a genious with making things pretty.

sooo i'm pretty positive that She's The Man is possibly now one of my favorite movies. FANTASTIC. i rented it tonight. i highly recommend it to all.

ooohh i got new shoes today. they're beautiful & extremely comfy. i'm going to go take a pic of them right now. i lied. i will tomorrow. my camera=dead. wait! perhaps i can find a pic of them online. i did. here they are:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

they're pumas. looveee.


today, i dropped my smashbox cream eye liner in the garbage on accident. i went to pick it up and it flew out of my hands and into the garbage. i didn't have the lid on it, so i had to throw it away. luckily i had it for a while and have a backup, so i'm not screwed.

ok, that's all.

ps: i think the new jessica simpson song is HORRIBLE.
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[17 Jul 2006|11:18pm]
[ mood | blah ]

i need more friends. well... i have a lot of friends, but i only really do things with 2 of them.. stephen and christa. it makes me immensly sad. well, i use to have another friend on that list, but suddenly she has just stopped talking to me. i've tried iming her multiple times, but no return. she forgot my birthday as well, that isn't like her... i don't know what's up with her, but i tried talking to her and if she isn't going to try talking to me, i'm not going to try anymore. i need to go shoe shopping tomorrow. stephen has plans and i'm pretty sure christa has to work. i don't want to go by myself. it's sad.. the past couple of days, every time i have wanted to go to target or somewhere i ask my parents if they want to come w/ b/c i have no one else to go with. i'll probably ask them if they want to come with tomorrow.. unless i just go in the day then i'm pretty sure they both have to work. sadd.

today was my first day back at work. it went real good. our new "registers", more like computers, are so much better than the old ones. i picked up real quick. nothing has really changed around the store. i'm kinda out of the whole music loop, but i should start picking it up the more i work. oh.. i work at sam goody for those who don't know.

rachel left me a wonderful little comment on my myspace telling me how she found my yellow belle ball gown and that it is absolutely fantastic and i'm going to love it. she said she loves it so much that she wants to somehow get rid of me and take my role so she can wear my dress, and also, that she would get married in the dress. hehe.. i cannot wait to see it.

ok. i'm done. i don't really feel like adding more to this message.

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[12 Jul 2006|03:05pm]
[ mood | happy ]

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IS NOT GETTING CANCELLED!!!!!!!!! Dane got the dates wrong of what we thought might mess everything up, so there is no problems now. Hooray! :)

Also, I went into Sam Goody today and Lisa said that Debbie is probably going to be bringing me in to work either next week or the week after that sooo that is really good b/c I'm getting really poor haha.

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