izaya *this is a dream

it doesn't matter who you are, we all have our scars

 
 
This was taken more than a week ago. I guess my hair grew a little already. 

Sighs... it's the study session. I can't say I'm terribly focused because I have no idea how to study for my tests. Should I re-do my tutorials? But I'm so fucking lazy. Haha!! I worry that if I start, I may not have enough time to finish all. It's like a too long for revision, too short for studying kind of break. Made for irritating students only...

I'll post photos of my trip after I get some photos from my sister who just started her school term. See, I already miss school. ): Call me strange but I like long hours in school but my course is unbelievably slack. I only have a maximum of 1T1L. Like wtf, and that's the end of school. Isn't fun when you don't want to spend money but you don't really want to laze around at home either. But somehow, the latter always pulls through. ):

Anyway, I'm currently hunting for a job. My sister says to apply now and by the end of the examinations, I'll be ready to start work. She also found this shop called MELISSA in Mandarin Gallery. LOLPOP!! It's owned by a Japanese entrepreneur too and speaking Japanese is a must. It's been a long while since I've communicated in Japanese so I'm a little hesitant about the job. What if I get fired because of my poor Japanese? Ok, I know I worry too much. Go for it anyway? ):

Time to study. 
  • Current Music
    Hedley's "Perfect"
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izaya *this is a dream

you think i'm pretty without any makeup on

Oh god, I'm so tired. But I've got bags to pack. I decided that I should write a post before I leave for Kuching. 'Cause I'll be gone for five days. Well, it's actually four days and four nights & I'm also bringing my laptop there (I think). I'm so tired I bet my sentences are very incoherent but ah, to hell with it. 
PHOTO VOMIT
 
  
  
  
 

And the rest is my new hair-cut over a period. I'm still getting used to it. It's quite a nuisance. :0

  
  
  
  
I look so skinny right? Hahahahahaha!!
Ok, I gotta go pack. :3
  • Current Music
    태양's "니가 잠든 후에"
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izaya *this is a dream

she fucking hates me and i love it

Hi, I'm wasting time while waiting for my download to be done. (: If you're my loyal Twitter addict, you'll realize that I'm quite addicted to two things in my life: dramas & Pokemon. 

For those who don't know, I'm playing Soul Silver. I have a Typhlosion (called Tabi♥), Ampharos (Hyungseok), Espeon (Chihoon) & Alakazam (Minjun). They're all named after Korean models, except for Tabi who's named after T.O.P.. I get very excited when I talk to them and they show affection, like a heart above their heads. I'll giggle to myself and keep talking to them. Best improvement in the Pokemon series: allowing your Pokemon to walk behind you and being able to interact with them. The creators made Pokemon seem more real and pet-like. I sure hope they allow the same for Black & White version. By the way, Tabi cuddled up to me and Hyungseok hugged me. They are such lovable Pokemon. You would've fallen in love with them too. Hee~♥!


I'm having my eyecandy fixations fulfilled everyday too. Haha, if you love babies and pretty boys, preaze to watch Baby And Me. It's a Korean movie starring Jang Geun Suk & a damn adorable beyond your wildest imagination baby (see the photo above!!!!). On the other hand, I'm watching I Am Sam now at the moment because of Tabi. I'm such a bias freak. :/ Even though I started because of Tabi, there's another handsome man in the show (see below). He's a little underrated though. Boo... ):


 
Lastly, yes I did cut my hair again. It's damn short now. I look very much like a butch now. Not my intention actually but what's done is done. *sighs* I'm going to stick at home until it grows out a little. How am I going to face my friends this Wed? )': But I'm very confident then when this hairstyle grows, it's going to be the perfect one that I'm looking for. >:)
izaya *this is a dream

it's hard to believe me, it never gets easy

 

Haha, I know I'm going on and on about my new dreamcatcher but look at it! Holy simoleans! It's just so gorgeous! How can you look at it and tell me it's nothing? Hee! It cost me S$11 only too. I guess the Singapore population still has yet to see the beauty of these crafts. Nonetheless, I secretly hope they don't. I don't wish for this native legend to be overrated. (Though I expected people to notice this beauty when they watched Twilight, when Jacob gave Bella a dreamcatcher. :/)

Anyway, for information's sake, here's a little background on dreamcatchers from the universal Wikipedia.
The resulting "dream-catcher", hung above the bed, is used as a charm to protect sleeping children from nightmares. As dreamcatchers are made of willow and sinew, they are not meant to last forever but are intended to dry out and collapse as the child enters the age of wonderment.

The Ojibwa believe that a dreamcatcher changes a person's dreams. According to Konrad J. Kaweczynski, "Only good dreams would be allowed to filter through . . . Bad dreams would stay in the net, disappearing with the light of day."[4] Good dreams would pass through and slide down the feathers to the sleeper.
But then again, legends like this have many different variations. I found another via Google, my best friend. 
The elder passed on his vision to the people, and now many Indian people hang a dream catcher above their bed to sift their dreams and visions. The good is captured in the web of life and carried with the people, but the evil in their dreams drops through the hole in the center of the web and are no longer a part of their lives. (Source)
Well, whatever the case, these are magical and beautiful items. I always thought spider-webs are really intricate and pretty. (: 
  • Current Music
    宇多田ヒカル's "Hikari"
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izaya *this is a dream

please forgive me, stop playing for your mercy

 
 
 

The burger is rather nice actually. Handmade Burger. It's at Cathay Cineleisure. (:

I woke up to thunder rolling and I thought it was going to be a nice rainy afternoon. Guess I was wrong. How disappointing. ): 

Yesterday was our favourite himbo friend's birthday. Had a steamboat and a chocolate mousse cake. Then we had a Truth or Dare session. Went up to the house while some of us left and we continued our H2H talks. Random nonsense & I'm really exhausted now. I think I should go back to sleep.

Why is it that some people cannot understand that I'm not interested in making friends? Is that even normal to not want to make friends? But I don't want friends like those. Just fucking leave me alone.
  • Current Music
    Bullet For My Valentine's "Pretty On The Outside"
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izaya *this is a dream

it's just an on again, an off again situation

   
  
  
  
  
  
 
And if you can't tell, I am so pimpin' the golden earphones. :3

Today I dressed like a boy - a collar shirt, rolled up jeans and pointed shoes. I feel so handsome. I sometimes wish I was a boy so girls will be attracted to me. ): And if my eyeliner looks messy to you, I'm terribly embarrassed and sorry. I'm still working on my disgusting make-up skills. D: Kind of difficult when I don't put on eyeliner everyday so I don't get much practice.

If I was a boy, would you find me attractive? (:
  • Current Music
    Lady Antebellum's "Stars Tonight"
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izaya *this is a dream

get outta my way, he's taking your place

Transformer rings in the mail. Pokewalked my Chihoon~. Shiny golden headphones.

I'm sh-sh-shagged to the max! D: But YOG celebration was fun, although I discovered that history is going to repeat itself. They lied to me, those mofo. _|_ It doesn't help that he's one of them. Oh well, you can never trust a pretty face. 
  • Current Music
    Ke$ha's "Take It Off"
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izaya *this is a dream

there's a place downtown where all the freaks come around

 
This part is my favourite part. He sounds so much better in Korean anyway. :/

Hi hi! My holidays are here! Or rather, I should also go the end semester examinations are drawing near! But since they extracted two weeks from our holidays, I self-declare it the holidays. We'll worry about studies later. (: I'm pretty much going to be busy (or at least try to!) during the holidays. Otherwise, I decided that I shall use the time to catch up on dramas. Good plan?

I finished Last Friends not too long ago (finally!). It's... damn controversial, if you get what I mean. I liked the starting but I hate the ending. I still dislike the lead actress, still as irritating as ever. Like the typical japanese drama, it explained the name like usual. Overall, I doubt I'll re-watch the drama. The development wasn't too good anyway.

My current drama is 素直になれなくて or Hard To Say I Love You. I think it's a bit like Last Friends because it deals with difficulties in your everyday life (with a tinge of drama). But so far, maybe it's better. Because JaeJoong made me smile at his Korean. And only his Korean 'cause his Japanese is always off-pitched (to me). Haha! :X I don't think he's thaaat good looking but good enough. Well better than the leads from Iris (no offence!). I mean, like wtf? Even when Tabi is in that drama, I can't bear to watch the other remaining non-Tabi moments because they are just so unappealing. It's not that I'm not attracted to older men (hey, I like Donnie Yen!) but they are just so... *shudders* Anyway, this drama has a really complicated love story. It stretches out in a line, I swear. I have a feeling the drama isn't going to end here either. :/ In my opinion, not too bad. Pretty interesting. (:

Painted my nails black and yellow. It's not that pretty because I'm using polish from The Face Shop. Their polishes suck, I swear. I miss my OPI but I only have three bottles from OPI. ): Anyone up for trades for OPI colors? Their bottles are huge anyway. I've got Mad As A Hatter, Absolutely Alice & a Matte Pink. TRADES, ALRIGHT? ♥

Rightey. I shall continue watching the drama. (:
  • Current Music
    Ke$ha's "Take It Off"
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izaya *this is a dream

my demise you'll never know

Wow, the camp was really rejuvenating in a very awkward way. Before I could realize it, my life is back on track and I'm alright again. No worries, no worries, the smile's back on my face. And none of it ain't false, ya? 

Thoughts about the camp. I'm not going to compare it to the camps I had before because that would be really unfair. I just really appreciate the effort that the committee put in, seriously. It was adorable how they managed to link all the games, no matter how retarded the association is.

Although yes I cannot deny that the night walk was really disappointing. After all, I have heard stories about how BSC's night walk is wicked and one of the best. I suppose I went there with high hopes but it's far from scary. And I'm already pretty cowardly so I suppose I can understand why some people find it boring. I find it quite fun with my group of girls though. We're so bimbo, haha. Not to mention, I was the scapegoat. I banged into the wall, tripped over the drain, the stairs, the curbs, hit my shoulder against the light & knocked into countless sweaty backs. Yes, it was more of a disgusting walk with the way they put sweet sauce on my fucking face.

There's a saying to not have expectations so you won't be disappointed. I'm not the kind to not have expectations so I decide to expect poorly. And yeah, I guess it was better than my bad expectations. I did make friends. I got to know my beloved classmate/coursemates a little more so I ain't gonna complain. Overall, pretty alright. I honestly don't wish for this to die here because that'll just be wasting my sacrifices (my complexion & my two nights' worth of proper sleep). So yeah, they better do something, byatches! 

Anyway, yes I did say the camp gave me answers that I thought I could never find. I feel my strength returning to me & I don't want to waste any more emotions on people who don't matter. So I'm going to draw this defined line between those who I'm going to put close to my heart and others that I will build a wall against. Don't tell me I shouldn't 'cause I don't like the idea of baring my soul to everyone just because they care. I know a lot of people around me care a lot about me. Yes, I do care about you guys too. But there are still priorities, and I know your priority ain't me. So I'm not going to put you in mine too. It's only fair, right? And don't expect me to place you first just because you put me first. If you don't know me well, don't even bother since you'll be disappointed. 

Now I got my answers, the next thing I need is a course of action.

By the way, last week of school. I'm excited for the holidays (a little). 
  • Current Music
    Black Eyed Pea's "Anxiety" feat. Papa Roach
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izaya *this is a dream

up on the main streets completing your mission

Hi, I really shouldn't be here but at tutorial. But I skipped the tutorial in an attempt to cramp as much information as I can into my tiny little brain. Urgh, I really hope it works though. I'm so scared that my chest is cold. The thought of having to re-take this subject again kills me. A part of me wants to score well too and not just a Pass. Even though we all know it's not going to affect much anyway since after all I have an 80% chance of going to an overseas university. Even my parents are already prepared to send me. LOL. And I'm kind of excited for it even though it's another two years (probably?). 

I don't know who's reading this space & I'm already starting to be mindful of the things I write. Some of the stuff are censored on purpose. In encryption? Haha the effects of studying CAS straight for three days. Yeah, my life is fucked. It's currently in a mess, really. And from the looks of it, I know I don't seem to be cleaning it up any time soon. All I want to do is to burn everything down and start anew, afresh. But we all know that that is quite impossible, considering my and their attachments. (One of the reasons why I really need to travel overseas!)

And if I have a prayer that could be answered right now, I want all my hopes to be dashed. I hate the feeling of knowing that there's always this potential, no matter how small it is. I don't give a fuck, alright? I just want to move on. I can't if you keep giving me 'maybe's! Telling myself to burn all the bridges isn't going to help because I can't bear to watch them burn. You have to burn it for me. That's a desperate plea. 

I'm happy but in the loneliness, you're but a plaque.

P.S: I'm worried about my camp later today. ):