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Oceana's Fannish Obsessions
The Days Are Just Packed
NCIS Fic "The Bed's Too Big Without You" by Oceana 
12th-Jul-2005 12:09 am
NCIS G/T I can't let myself love you
I did manage to write something for the ficathon. And I'm afraid I used my quote in exactly the way I threatened to use it at the very beginning.
*is ashamed*

Title: The Bed's Too Big Without You
Author: Oceana
Email: oceana2602@gmail.com
Pairing: Tony/Kermit. No, I mean Gibbs/DiNozzo, of course.
Notes: Set after "Left For Dead", small spoilers for the episode. Written for the first NCIS ficathon. The quote I used – in the most unimaginative way ever – was
"Movin' right along, footloose and fancy free, getting there is half the fun, come share it with me..." (The Muppets).
Summary: All I made was one mistake.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Ficathon archive yes, all other's please ask.

"Movin' right along, footloose and fancy free, getting there is half the fun, come share it with me..."

For a moment he thinks he is in the wrong house, except that this is his bathroom, and his shower, and the man softly singing under the shower is… he is not quite sure if Tony is his as well, but he likes to think so.

He opens the door to the shower, a cloud of steam coming out so he has to take a step back.

"DiNozzo! What are you doing?"

"Oh. Hi boss!" Tony clears his throat. "Didn’t hear you come in."

He waits.

"I was … Muppets, you know."

Tony is a bit red in the face, and it’s not all caused by the heat of the water.

"You do know the Muppets, don’t you?"

'Yes, Tony, I do know the Muppets, I’m not dead.' he thinks, but he doesn't say it. He doesn't really care what Tony sings or doesn't sing under the shower and he isn't in the mood for talking. Not after they had almost gotten blown up, not after he almost lost Kate to the revenge of the woman Kate had made the mistake of trusting.

"Uhm, it's getting a bit cold in here, boss.” Tony says.

"Is it?" He starts to unbutton his shirt. "You may want to get out of the shower, DiNozzo, if you are getting cold." For a second he really means it. He spent hours on paperwork, one of his agents hurt, two people killed, and now he comes home to Tony singing children's songs under his shower. Tony has no right to be in a good enough mood to sing, even if the soft humming sounded more as if he was trying to cheer himself up.

"I’m sorry, boss." Tony says. "I was just..."

"Shut up, Tony." Gibbs opens his belt and slides off first his pants, then his boxer shorts. He puts the boxers on top of the other clothes on the nearby chair and steps into the shower, the hot water pouring down on him, almost painful on his cold skin.

"Turn around." he orders, and Tony complies, just as he always does. "Put your hands against the wall."

He closes his eyes and concentrates on the water running over him for a moment, slowly warming his cold hands and legs. He feels exhausted and tired. Maybe he should have showered alone. Then he opens his eyes and Tony is so close to him, naked and wet and beautiful, and showering alone suddenly seems like a really bad idea.

Tony moves the head of the shower to the side, so that the water is running down the wall behind Gibbs, and leans in to kiss him. Hot skin and wet lips, and he cannot help but open his mouth, let Tony slip his tongue inside, Tony's fingers are buried in his wet hair and he is weirdly aware of how tall Tony is. He breaks the kiss and watches Tony lick his lips, droplets of water running down his face. He wants to lean in and lick them off, wants Tony to continue kissing him, lose himself in that feeling. But he can’t do that, that’s not who he is. That's not who they are.

"Turn around." He says again, more softly now.

Tony gives him another, too gentle kiss, and leans against the wall, his back to him. Gibbs watches him for a moment. Tony's skin is red, and when he reaches for him, it feels hot to his touch. Little drops of water cling to his back, and Gibbs runs his fingers through them, tracing an invisible pattern on Tony's back. He lets his hands slide down Tony's sides and kisses his neck, licking away the water that is running out of Tony's wet hair. Tony head is half-turned, so he bites his ear lobe gently and feels Tony shudder against him. He steps between Tony's legs, and Tony spreads them to let him in. A sudden, strong arousal runs through him, the knowledge that Tony would do everything for him right now, that he could order him to kneel down and suck him just as easy as he could make him leave. His legs touch the inside of Tony's thighs and he presses against them a little, feeling Tony give in and spread his legs wider. There isn't much room in the shower, but he knows that Tony would give him even more, would follow his lead until it hurt him, and maybe beyond that.

This is why they shouldn't do this. Because Tony is part of his team, and he is responsible for him. Because they need to be able to trust each other when they are out in the field, and at the moment he doesn't even trust himself. Doesn't trust himself not to hurt Tony, because he can, because Tony will let him, because they are both going to end up hurt if they continue this. Because losing Tony in the explosion would have been so much worse than losing Kate, and he cannot do that, cannot let himself care more about Tony than about his other agents.

He has one hand on Tony's back now, the other on his chest, playing with the wet hair. He finds a nipple and twists it. Tony moans, but he keeps his hands on the wall, just like he told him.

He slides his right hands further down between Tony's cheeks. Water isn't a good lubricant, so he has some difficulty sliding his finger inside. Tony gasps a bit, but doesn't protest. He can feel him relax, pressing against him. He presses his finger in deeper and bites Tony's neck, provoking another moan. He licks the bite, then further down Tony's spine, his finger still buried deep inside Tony, eliciting a sharp gasp whenever he moves it against Tony prostate. He adds a second finger, ignoring the hiss of pain. Tony will say something if he hurts, he tells himself, and he wants to believe it. The tightness around his fingers feels amazing, and he wants nothing more than to bury himself in it.

This used to be so easy, he thinks. Back then, when he was still fucking men, a long time ago, he'd have used the shampoo as lubricant and they would have fucked each others brains out, just some guy doing another. No thinking, no see you tomorrow, nothing to worry about but his position as a marine. Now he needs a condom and lube, and while he cannot lose his job for fucking men anymore, he certainly can for fucking this man. He presses himself closer to Tony's wet, slippery body, closes his left hand around Tony's cock and begins stroking him. Firm, sure movements, feeling the weight of Tony's hard cock between his fingers.

"Gibbs." Tony gasps. "If you want to fuck me, you better do it soon."

'You should call me Jethro.'’ he thinks. 'If we continue doing that, you should really start calling me Jethro.' He doesn't say it, because his mouth is occupied with leaving a trail of kisses on Tony's neck and shoulders. That they cannot continue doing this has nothing to do with it.

"Stay there." he says instead and opens the shower door, reaching with his left hand for the cabinet next to it to get a condom and lube. It is a bit difficult to reach, with two fingers still buried deep inside Tony's ass.

"Oh fuck, Gibbs…" Tony moans and starts to fuck himself on Gibbs's fingers. He has found the condom and tears the package open with his teeth, but to put it on he has to pull out his fingers, and Tony moans at the loss.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" he says breathlessly, pushing his ass into Gibbs's lap. Gibbs puts the condom on and the spreads some lube on Tony with shaky fingers.

'Bossy, aren't you, DiNozzo?' he thinks, and then he slides his cock inside slowly. Tony opens up for him, pushing against him, pulling him deeper until his chest is pressed against Tony's back and there is not an inch of space left between them.

"Touch me." Tony says desperately, his hands shaking against the wall. "Please."

He puts his fingers around Tony's cock again, just holding it until Tony starts to fuck his hand, pushing back onto his cock, then forward again. It feels incredibly, and he just stays like that for a while, letting Tony do all the work. Then it becomes too good and he has to move, has to drive himself deeper into the heat, get closer to the man in front of him.

"Tony," he moans before he can stop himself. He buries his teeth in Tony's shoulder and lets go.

"Fuck, Gibbs, oh god, you…" Tony's hand joins his and he speeds up his movements, letting Tony take the lead and then Tony suddenly goes still and squeezes around him. He feels Tony's come shoot through his fingers and then he, too, is coming, blood rushing in his ears, pleasure overwhelming him.

Sudden blackness around him and he feels his legs give out, unable to hold him any longer. He begins to slide down the wall. Suddenly there are arms under his, catching his fall, lowering him slowly to the ground. Tony is holding him, and for a moment, just a short moment, he leans his head against Tony's chest, closes his eyes and let's himself be held.

When he looks up, Tony is kneeling between his open legs on the shower floor and looks awfully smug.

"What?" he asks, still trying to catch his breath.

"Nothing." Tony says with a smile.

"It was the heat." He glares. "And all that steam. I should let you pay the hot water bill if you waste it like this."

Tony smiles even more and kisses him again, warm mouth pressing against his until he opens it, caressing Tony's lips with his tongue, finally meeting Tony's, lazily moving against his own. He moves his tongue deeper into Tony's mouth, and Tony lets him, soft, pliant. Smiling against his kiss. He moves to touch Tony's belly, soft in the crouching position he is in, and he can feel Tony hold his breath, trying to flatten his stomach. He has to smile at Tony's unnecessary vanity.

"Bed?" Tony asks against his mouth.

"Yeah." he says. He isn't sure he can move yet, so he waits for Tony to get up, watches him wash off the traces of semen and then leave the shower. Water is still pouring down on his head and shoulders. He closes his eyes again and tries not to think.

Tony puts his head into the shower again.

"Are you coming?" he hears him ask.

"Here, let me get that." Tony says, taking the condom that has slipped off and is lying between his legs. At least they are in the shower, so the water can take care of the mess they’ve made.

He gets up only after Tony has left the bathroom, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around his waist. The room is warm and steamy, and when the cold air in the hallway hits him he feels as if he is waking up from a dream. Tony is lying under the covers when he enters the bedroom, taking over most of the bed, already half asleep.

They don't kiss again, and they don’t fall asleep in each other arms. They never do. But when he slides under the covers, Tony reaches for him, letting his hand rest on Gibbs's chest.

"Did you ever make a mistake?" he had asked Tony earlier tonight, and Tony had answered, truthfully. This is his mistake, he thinks, listening to Tony's soft snores. This is his mistake, one he cannot stop himself from making again and again.

He concentrates on the weight of Tony's hand on his chest and falls asleep.

You can find the Masterlist of the first ever NCIS Ficathon here.

*smooches blueraccoon for organizing it*

My little fandom, all grown up. ;-)
11th-Jul-2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
Tony/Kermit! Ha!

Love Gibbs knowing Tony is his mistake, that he shouldn't want him as much as he does.

The best part of your story is Gibbs realization that Tony would do anything for him even if it causes Tony pain. That is so true and something you can see sometimes on the show. Gibbs depends on it professionally.

Slow wet shower sex, gorgeously written is always nice to read. Hot, sweet wet kisses and they way they touched each other. Yum.

Great story, quote and all.
11th-Jul-2005 10:38 pm (UTC)
Oh god, thank you.
*feels tons dropping of her heart*
I was so unsure about this one, and I'm so glad you like it. (and I swear, I was trying to write sweet shower sex. Somehow these things alwas turn out a bit angsty. It's all Gibbs's fault.)
11th-Jul-2005 10:41 pm (UTC)
ah, wonderful to see more of your writing. :)

remarkable how you've shown gibb's internal monologue, and his inability to resist reaching out to connect with tony. the last sentence is beautiful, especially in contrast with his thoughts just before.
11th-Jul-2005 11:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you, your comments always make me happy. :-)
Gibbs wants Tony very much. I think he is a romantic at heart. The man married three times, he must believe in love somehow, right?
11th-Jul-2005 10:49 pm (UTC)
Ooooh yeah, that's the stuff. Shower sex. Hot, angsty shower sex. Layered on top of hot, angsty Gibbs wondering what the hell he's doing. It's perfect. I love the intensity of the emotion, so much that the simple fact of Gibbs allowing Tony to hold him afterward speaks volumes. It's truly lovely.
11th-Jul-2005 11:08 pm (UTC)

Thank you!
You know, if you hadn't reminded me of the shower sex/random quote babbling idea, I would never have written it. I feel a bit sorry for Tony though, because I made him sing. It couldn't be avoided.;-)
11th-Jul-2005 11:05 pm (UTC)
I loved this. And though I admit I haven't seen enough of NCIS to be a fan, I think I've seen enough to say that you pretty much nailed the characterisations there, especially Gibbs.

Cool fic :-)
11th-Jul-2005 11:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *smiles*
We'll turn you into a fan in no time, I just announced that we are taking over the slash world. Gibbs..., Tony... mmmm. You know you want to...
11th-Jul-2005 11:07 pm (UTC)
Oh whoa, hot sex, great dialogue, and that bit of self-doubt that makes it complete. Nice work.
11th-Jul-2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :-) How is yours coming along?
11th-Jul-2005 11:24 pm (UTC)
I don't know what the fuck you were bitching about cuz this was great. Seriously great.
11th-Jul-2005 11:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I almost completey rewrote it during work today, but I still couldn't find a way to save Tony from singing. Oh well, next ficathon I'll start writing sooner.;-)
11th-Jul-2005 11:53 pm (UTC)
And here I was thinking Kermit from KF:TLC and I got all excited...

But this was lovely, too. ;-)
13th-Jul-2005 10:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
If I knew what KF:TLC was, I might have written it. Does it have anything to do with the pretty, wet men on your icon? *g*
12th-Jul-2005 12:19 am (UTC)
Great job of capturing Gibbs feeling conflicted over Tony. And? Hot!

13th-Jul-2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
12th-Jul-2005 02:37 am (UTC)
Who knew angst could hurt so good? Loved the shower sex and Gibbs' thoughts about Tony and what they were doing together. The last bit, about Tony being the mistake he makes again and again, was perfect.
13th-Jul-2005 09:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad to hear you liked it. :-)
12th-Jul-2005 02:54 am (UTC)
Wow. There's a thread of angst running all the way underneath the surface of this fic. But one of hope, too. Because as much as Gibbs keeps thinking that this is going to end, and that it should...he doesn't want it to. And he's a stubborn old bastard, so it's a good bet he won't be the one calling anything off anytime soon :p

he could order him to kneel down and suck him just as easy as he could make him leave.

That...is so hot :p And it's fascinating getting a little look at Gibbs' thoughts, and how much he actually edits out of his speech.

Great job, all the way around :)
13th-Jul-2005 09:47 pm (UTC)
There's a thread of angst running all the way underneath the surface of this fic. But one of hope, too.
I cannot help but make them angsty. It's Gibbs fault, I think. But yes, I think there is hope, because Gibbs really wants Tony and he isn't one to give up easily.
Thank you for letting me know that you liked it. :-)
12th-Jul-2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
'You should call me Jethro.'’ he thinks. 'If we continue doing that, you should really start calling me Jethro.'

That's so true, isn't it? And yet I don't think I could either read a story in which he did that, or keep a straight face if I did.

I liked this a lot, liked that this seemed like a PWP and packed in everything substantial that could be related to such a PWP - the Jethro thing, for once, and the technical problems, and the issues, ending so perfectly and so sadly on Gibbs' mistake -- *sigh* Beautiful in parts, funny in others, hot in yet others *and* so nicely written -- this is all I could wish from a fic.
13th-Jul-2005 09:44 pm (UTC)
I never know if I should use Jethro or Gibbs, but at the moment, I think Tony still thinks of him as Gibbs. Maybe some day, when they have some sort of relationship, rather than the messed up things they tend to have in my fic.
Thank you for your comment, I'm happy to hear that you liked it. :-)
12th-Jul-2005 04:07 pm (UTC)
This is his mistake, one he cannot stop himself from making again and again.

::whimpers:: Yes. Perfect.

Also very steamy! ;)
13th-Jul-2005 05:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
12th-Jul-2005 04:30 pm (UTC)
I hate you. Because you made me watch this show and now I've watched it up to Terminal Leave and this is so *perfect* and I need more and more and more NCIS fic and YAY! because, you know, ficathon masterlist.

Anyway, this was *perfect* and hot and *yes*.
13th-Jul-2005 05:57 am (UTC)
Hahh, you love me for making you watch it. Mark Harmon and Michael Weatherly, all pretty and sexy. Isn't it great?

And: thank you! :-)
12th-Jul-2005 05:47 pm (UTC)
Awesome fic. Keep up the good slashy genius!
13th-Jul-2005 05:39 am (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
25th-Aug-2005 09:09 am (UTC)
*wibbles* I love stories where one or the other struggles with their relationship. This was so good. Gibbs is very scared of hurting Tony because he knows Tony trusts him so much that he honestly would let him do almost anything to him and I bet Gibbs knows just out of control he could get. Loved the awkwardness and the Muppets song and the shower sex was so hot. And that Tony won't call Gibbs, Jethro. Yum. Also being inside Gibbs' head was a nice change of pace. He really does love Tony even if he'll never admit it.

Very nice. I love angst on my boys. Good look for em.
25th-Aug-2005 03:12 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it! The Muppets song was the quote I got for the ficathon, and I had no idea what to do with it. Then I thought, Tony would actually be able to sing Muppets, and any excuse to get him wet and naked... ;-)
Thanks for commenting!
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