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292 - Dear Daddy...

May. 22nd, 2009 | 04:38 pm
location: BR
mood: sadsad

So I wrote him a letter.

Dear Dad,
It has taken long enough and as you are the man I guess I could have been waiting a very long time for you to reply.
I won't lie to you I have been expecting you to be knocking down the door, ringing us both up, begging for forgiveness. I know you are not to blame for ALL of this, everyone has a part that they have played.

The past week I have realised that life is much to short & you only get one dad. & your ours. I won't lie you hurt me really bad, you lied to me, you told me and you promised me that everything was going to be oki and it really isn't, it is FAR from Oki.

Philippa told me what you said to me at the party & I was hurt, I didn't understand why you couldn't pick up the phone and tell me yourself, but I do understand.

Things will take a LONG time to be put right but I think eventually they will be something like they were. I think we were all kidding ourselves thinking that it would have worked out, Richard & I living in Send.
You have your life with Christina & the kids you have your routine and your ways of doing things, Richard & I have our own

I got the birthday cards yesterday and I'll be honest I never expected you to send them and I had to open them, I thought there might have been some sort of message in there that you want us back and that you are sorry. But there wasn't & after what I put in your card I never expected you to send me one. Yes it was childish what I did but you have to understand that it was still so fresh in my head and you know how close Richard and I are. But I apologise for any hurt that, that may have caused you,  just wanted you  to hurt as much as we were.
I don't understand why Charlotte's name wasn't in the card either?

Richard is going to take a lot longer to come around, you know how much he looked up to you dad & right now he thinks that you don't give a shit. You need to see it from his point of view what happened.

I looked on my internet banking today, thank you. I would have text you but my phone has been cut off and has been for the past 3 weeks. So if you can inform Matt that I haven't been ignoring him.

I am free on Sunday and Monday if you are too and if you wanted to see me? I don't know how Richard would feel I could talk to him or I don't know if it would make more sense if you were to see Richard by yourself. That is if you even want to see either of us.

Let me know Dad.
Love Always.
It's my Birthday tomorrow.

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#001 - we've only just begun

Aug. 17th, 2003 | 02:17 pm
location: BR28BQ
mood: dorkydorky
music: Help - The Betales

if you want me?
add me.
no falseness
no pretence.
just me.

I add ALOT OF PICTURES to my journal
not of flowers and normal photography.
[because i can't]
but of my nights out, etc
so add me and i'll add you back.

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