I never, I'm alone, and I never, ever oh... had noone ever

Alex was at the New Years party I went to, it was awkward but then I dragged him into a bedroom, made him kneel on the floor with me and talked to him for a bit.

It didn't really explain anything, but he has stupid hair and I think that I can say I am over him now. I was really gutted that I've wasted a year and a half over this shit but I've done it now. I've sorted things out for 2004.

Oh yeah, and my first kiss of the year was Anthony, talk about blasts from the pasts. It was really nice, and he is pretty hot. It was REALLY nice, but it was when he was going home, so I kissed Max and Rob too :O

I was standing on the balcony with Mellissa and suddenly realised this girl who was also sitting on the Balcony was Amy G, with short hair. So I asked her if it was her and she said that I looked really different from last time she saw me and then went "Martin! It's Jules" And Martin was shocked too and hugged me and stuff. Then he told Anthony who knew who I was anyway, and went "Noo! Alex, guess what, it's Jules!".

I can't be bothered to write about the rest of the night, it was good, I had to get a taxi home because I'd stupidly gone into the Sauna when I can't even have a hot bath without getting a headache and fainting. My taxi driver was like "I didn't drink that much tonight so I can drive" *goes up a one way street*

Anyway I didn't do that well, make a good impression, but I'm glad I talked to him, because it was something that I had to do. It's always fear that I regret not things that I have done.
  • Current Music
    The Smiths - Never Had Noone Ever

Once I had a love, and it was a gas, soon turned out, I had a heart of glass

I was supposed to be spending my New Year with Stee but I didn't manage to get coach tickets, so am either;

Going to Tony's houseparty. Everyone will be wasted. turns out, only three people are going.
Going to a houseparty with some boys from college. Will get my very own punk rock name badge.
or... going to the benches. Huge gathering of stoned people in Scarborough woods.
OR Adam's party he might be having.

I don't know which one yet. My Steeeeeee came out to his parents yesterday, and all is good :)Oh yeah... I was messing about ages ago and said that Phil was gay, and Stee believed me and asked him if he'd come out to his parents yet. Harharhar!

I worked out, I have kissed 16 people this year, which isn't that much but then I was in a relationship for seven months... so.

Happy New Year. I hope you all get the midnight kiss you are hoping for.
  • Current Music
    Blondie - Heart of Glass

You never knew, well I never told you, everything I know about breaking hearts, I learned from you

Me and Amy went to France yesterday, we were taking pictures of french people underneath a sing that said "alcool" but I had no film.

Anyway, I got up at eight, I;d had four hours sleep after spending the previous evening playing articulate with Jack and various other people at Jonny's sisters party, which Jonny and Amy got up to something else. Harharhar. Articulate rules. I got a bit carried away and ended up acting out everything and making everyone else guess.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself though, I'd got bored when I was getting dressed and ended up thinking that it would be funny to show Jonny up by just turning up really overdone. So I wore my Grease skirt, with a black jacket with pink swirls and a top that I found in my mum's draw, with roses on it.

The top, a style I haven't worn before made my boobies look huge, but wasn't to big so didn't make me look that fat either. So was happy. Told Jack something along the lines of "You could be Austrailian, if you had an Austrailian accent." and then started adjusting my bra. {I really should not be allowed to get bored, ever}.

So we went to France, I started singing to a woman in the gift shop, but when she didn't sing back I realised that I didn't know her, apologised and went off. So if a randomite came up to you yesterday and sung the indestructable song - I apologise. On the boat Amy wanted food, and I asked this french bloke how much potatos were on their own and he said "for you, free" so we just ate loads of them for lunch. Nice froggy France people, froogggy! France! I accidently spent £8 worth of credit because I didn't realise I was being charged £1 a text as roaming charges. Plus in the car before we went to France, I text about 20 of my friends to show off about being in France and only Kris text back. But have since found out that Drew text my sisters phone as a reply and Matt and Adam have no credit and Wes isn't getting his messages, so it's only MOST of my friends that I now hate.

In France we were foreigners and laughing at crazy French people who wear braces and hats and call Carphone Warehouse "The Phone Warehouse" and wear roller skates in the supermarket. We met a Giraffe called Geoffrey and tried to remember the Toys Are Us song. But we forget one of the words. On the boat on the way back I brought cheap cigerettes for my friend Andy and then we went out with him and Adam when we got home and it was fun because they my friends and they are cool. And we smoked the rest of Andy's weed. I should stop, but I don't want to. Because it makes me feel nice. The night before last I just felt ugly and horrible, ugly and horrible and a laughing stock. Feeling nice for me is a good thing. And I was the odd one out because I am a "J" and they are all "A" but for a bit David was there. But he is a really, really scary pervert.
  • Current Music
    Taking Back Sunday - There's No "I" in Team

I feel just like a Local God when I'm with the boys, we do what we want, yeah we do what we want.

me with my two best friends and my oldest childhood friend lara.

at one point these photos weren't just tokens of memories. they were happening. these photos at one point were reality. they were now. they were how i was feeling and what i was up to.

sometimes i look at pictures and get so drawn into them that i think that i could just step into the picture and be back at that time. but photos are just pictures and memories are just memories.

Coincidentally, the second picture was taken a few minutes before {or after?} I met my friend Adam. He is cooool.
  • Current Music
    Everclear - Local God

it's a green christmas in this town, green 'cause of everything I miss, all this mistletoe no kiss

what I got for christmasCollapse )

Drew wouldn't come out last night as is lazy but he is coming to pick me up after work tonight so *forgives*.

Me getting older. 1995 - 2001 - 2003.

faye and me

claire, me, faye, sarah, shaun, mum. aunty jane, natasha, uncle david. me with harry.

As a conclusion, I recieved two mirrors. Which leads to the equation that people feel I should wear more make up.
However, like fuck am I ever looking in a mirror that makes me look 5 xs bigger.
It did make 5 seconds of my family Christmas funner though. I made my sister look in it and then said "Honey, with those pores the only thing that I can suggest is sur-ger-y."
I also do not photograph well. Even when I am trying particually hard to photograph well .
According to Stee I look like a mother, however all my other pictures from the wedding had my bra in view.

+ fading + like the stars + we wish to be + says:
youre going to have the cutest children
i know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic says:
i am not having children.! ewwwww
+ fading + like the stars + we wish to be + says:
you sooooo are
+ fading + like the stars + we wish to be + says:
like, a million and two
+ fading + like the stars + we wish to be + says:
and they can be all ginger and pixyish and cute
  • Current Music
    Barenaked Ladies - Green Christmas

you made me cry again, when you said, little girl, don't wait for me, wait patiently for love

Questionnaire filled in using titles of songs by "The Smiths"

pretty girls make graves.

this joke isn't funny anymore.

there is a light that never goes out.


stop me if you think you've heard this one before...



still ill.

i started something i couldn't finish.

please please please let me get what i want.

never had noone ever.

death of a disco dancer.

you haven't earned it yet, baby.

a rush and a push and the land is ours.

what do you see in him?

last night i dreamt that somebody loved me.

these things take time.

unhappy birthday.

i don't owe you anything.

you've got everything now.

well i wonder

meat is murder.
  • Current Music
    Diana Ross - I'm Still Waiting