It’s interesting that you asked me to close my eyes first. Because, you know, the answer sort of changes when I close my eyes. When I have my eyes open the answer is that I miss the cool suede corkscrew chairs which I had to sell when I went into that credit card debt dealio. But with my eyes closed . . . I honestly miss my grandfather. I only think about it when I have my eyes closed, maybe, or something.
It reminds me of a line in For Whom the Bell Tolls (yes I read classics! What in the hell made you think I didn’t?) Robert Jordan talks about the closeness he had to his grandfather and he mentions what a shame it was that there was so much “time” in between people like himself and his grandfather. And it is a shame. Why didn’t my grandfather and I get to share the same time frame? Maybe it’s mean, but I feel like I would have been better off having my grand father as a parent, instead of maybe, having my parents as parents. My grandfather was someone who provided . . . guidance, I guess would be the word. I think that’s something parents used to provide. I guess I wish I could have spent more time with him. It’s not fair that I lost him so soon. I could really use him now. I think the whole world could.
I just miss him, is all.