December 6th, 2005

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TM Challenge: What do you regret NOT saying

“Crossroads, seem to come and go,

No one hears his lonely sigh,
There are no blankets where he lies.
In all his deepest dreams the gypsy flies
With sweet melissa...

Crossroads, will you ever let him go?
Will you hide the dead man's ghost,
Or will his spirit roll away?

But I know that he won't stay without melissa.

Crossroads, seem to come and go . . . “

I'm almost asleep. Why does that annoying song keep going through my head? It never stops, but instead intrudes my thoughts when I least want it to. A reminder perhaps. I’m almost asleep, but the song keeps intruding, sleep eluding me, forcing me awake, taunting me with memories, reminding me of times and places and . . . someone. Someone who once sang it to me while I slept. We always joked that the song was written about us. It seemed so real. the gypsy. the crossroads. But the ending wasn’t right. No, it never ends right. The spirit rolled away and whatever it could have meant and whatever it could have been is gone. And lost now. All pointless. All for nothing. Even the music is gone. He took all his CD’s with him, including, of course, his favorite Allman brothers one, the one with that song. He could have at least left me that.

But I didn’t ask. I didn’t ask for anything so he most likely never knew what I wanted. A wandering soul. You can’t change those people, we kept telling ourselves. But maybe if I would have tried. Mmmm. I don’t like thinking. Why can’t I sleep? I could have at least said, I’ll miss you.
  • Current Music
    the noise in my head
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