massive head trauma

(no subject)

A young child is running laps around the courtyard, screaming until his voice cracks, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!"
barbed wire


I don't often stop to reflect on my days, and when I feel most compelled to do so, twelve times out of eleven I am sorting out frustrations and wondering about life's greater purpose. I have been called "Emo" by several people, citing as evidence my comfort with blogging my doubtful moments, and the half dozen black collared shirts I own. But let me sort something out right now. "Emo is characterized as being particularly emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angst-ridden. It has also been associated with depression, self-injury, and suicide." I would characterize myself as emotional, sensitive, and angst-ridden indeed. I would say that I am periodically depressed. My self-injury is cigarettes. But let me also say this. The next person who calls me "Emo" gets punched in the face, such that their visage may become a more apparent indicator of their senselessness.

Saturday was a difficult day. I get up early for my sixth day of class anyway. But Friday had been 60° and sunny, and Saturday morning was windy and snowing.

Bonkers half awoke and stretched a bit on his pillow, and would probably have gone back to sleep, but inadvertently nudged his pillow too close to the edge of the bed. A brief scramble, and he fell three and a half feet off the bed onto his ass, and ran away panicked and humiliated. I found him sitting in his special spot on the rug where the sun usually shines in the mornings. Only, there was no sun, because it was fucking snowing the day after 60° sunshine. So Bonkers just sat there, ears back, staring at the ground, emotional, sensitive, and angst-ridden. Probably a little depressed. I picked him up and reminded him that he is smart and handsome.

There's no moral to this story, just a photo of Bonkers, where he sometimes goes to sort things out.

killer song

(no subject)

here I am, on the fast track to the future
number one design planning school in the united states
and an mba on the way
two graduate degrees at the same time
co-chairing the design research conference
consulting on a project with the city mayor's office
practicing my elevator pitch on the latest stranger
harvard business school management tips on my iphone
all i really want
is to get drunk by the railroad tracks
shoot glass bottles with my rifle
share a pack of cigarettes
to be cold and build a fire
and stay in a home that isn't mine
because everybody lets me down
including me


01 once warfare becomes automated, it's gonna be fun again
02 if you can shear a sheep with a robot, you can do almost anything
03 three
04 we solved the problems of life, and now you're fucked
05 i wear black so at night the shadows make me bigger
06 your camera is a tool like a hammer
07 or will jesus make you tell the judge you fell down some stairs
08 cowmouse makes its own cheese
09 ten percent toy and ninety percent child
10 when the carrot eats the rabbit