worth more dead than alive

The last thing I want to hear from my parents after a long day of battling with people and personal ethics at work, is that I have a bad temper.

Well, you know what. I do have a bad temper.

But I sure as hell do not appreciate being called that when:
1) Being told that the phone's dead when I stepped into the house
2) Tried to fix the problem, putting aside my frustrating day at work and suppressing myself from raising my voice.
3) when it still doesn't work and said that I want to take a shower instead of dealing with the problem now.
4) Being told that behind my back

Really. Is it too much to ask for me to just not care?!
I even made sure I didn't raise my voice and this is what I get? Maybe I SHOULD have raised my voice. At least then I'd feel being called having a bad temper is more worth it.

Now I can't even vent frustration. And having an urge to scream or beat something to a pulp now really doesn't help. I am getting internal injuries from just thinking about how f-ed up this evening is.


Let my mind speak

I found the following print out while clearing a corner of my room today. Just thought I'd share..

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider roads but narrower viewpoints; we spend more but have less; we buy more but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences but less time; we have more degree but less sense; more knowledge but less judgement; more experts but more problems; more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast; get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced out values. We talked too much, love too seldom and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street or going next door to meet the new neighbour. We've conquered outer space but not inner space; we've done larger things but not better things; we've cleaned up the air but polluted the soul; split the atom but not our prejudices; we write more but learn less' we plan more and accomplish less.

We've learned to rush but not to wait; we have higher incomes but lower morals; we have more food but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever but have less communication; we've become long on quantity but short on quality. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall people and short characters; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace but domestic warfare; more leisure but less fun; more kinds of food but less nutrition.

These are days of two income but more divorces; of fancier houses but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, overweight bodies and pill that do anything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this option to you and a time when you choose either to make a difference or simply accept the way things are.
  • Current Music
    Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
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road trippin

So.. New Zealand didn't work out for me and I ended up going to Taiwan for a solo trip. G asked if I wanted to go New York with her but NY isn't a place I want to visit at the moment so I passed. S and herself ended up going there with a mutual friend and meeting K up in Frankfurt.

I hear a lot of people say stuff like "Wow! Alone! So brave!" or "I could never have done it myself" and many things along that line. I was a little apprehensive at first as well but since I already made all the arrangements and did my homework, I was as ready as I'm ever going to be. No turning back after booking, for me at least. It's not the first time I took a flight alone so the travelling part was okay. The only downside I could think of was the settling of meals - breakfasts are usually alright since I head to the convenience store to get those individually packed buns (which cost only SGD$1)! It's usually lunch or dinner which I find it hard because there's just so many options and so little space! :( I'd admit sometimes I just can't be bothered and skip lunch altogether and I also manage to meet up with a couple of my Taiwanese friends there for dinner on a couple of days (those days with good dinner haha).

This trip's really not that big of deal since it's not even a really foreign land! It's a place where I can use mandarin to communicate and read the signboards without needing to ask around what it means. It's not even too bad security wise, just that the pollution there is really horrid.

What I'm trying to say it, this solo trip is a test trip to see how far I can go, sticking to my own schedules, relying on my own street-smartness (if any) and having the courage to up and talk to strangers/locals (which I did!). I feel it's so much easier to interact with the locals alone/as a small group. I'd say I stuck to most of my trip's points except for a few places of interest which I gave up on due to blistered feet (note to self: get better shoes; Converse shoes are not meant for walking in the mountains). 75 points for me! Haha!

Maybe next time I'd try another country which I can't speak their language. That'll be a challenge! and I'll more on to more rural places from there, maybe? Haha. I hope so, anyway.

  • Current Music
    Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine
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quotes I like

This is off my head..

"dream a dream"
"do things that scares you"
"take a chance"
"leap, and the net will appear"
"bet on the odds"
"trust your instincts"
"take the road less travelled"
"explore and discover"
"dare to fail, to achieve"
"go with your heart"
"dare to lose your footing momentarily but not yourself"

"LIVE. life as it should be".


it's been a while

So... yeah. :/

Lotsa stuff happened over the past few months and it's probably not possible for me to remember all in detail now already so I'll do my best anyway.

3 guys have left the bank and another left the department, only to be replaced by 2 sweet young things. Haha.. Teaching them stuff and seeing how they're able to catch things in minimal times makes me feel old already. Now I know how it feels like when our seniors are teaching us.. *sigh* They've really brought new life to the department but I'm afraid I've already infected them with my jaded-ness. :(

Met up with a few friends from my schooling days not too long ago and it feels nice to have met them again after so long. It seems like not too long ago we were able to see each other everyday but in reality, it's been 8 long years. wtf. Even the youngest one among us have started working. Aging is sad.

Attended Mayday's DNA concert once again at the Kallang Stadium and it was nice! Really fun since it was roofless! Er, which reminds me, I have yet to upload them. Whoops.

There were the usual birthday celebrations and such that was... hmm nice and quiet. Maybe it's another sign that we're all getting old and getting tired easily. Hahaha!

Started getting ready for my friend's wedding which will be in November and saving up for their angbao. One more wedding in Dec as well.

Speaking of money, I'll be jobless in end October since my contract ends and I have no intention of renewing it. It's like the story of "Who moved my cheese" where I am Haw right now. It's time to move on. Friends and comfort are all nice and such but it really doesn't help my in survival, does it? Since, the lady isn't helping much in terms of my career. Besides, I've been tainted by rumors that just aren't totally true and I don't see the point of staying and having people pointing/stabbing me behind my back and faking/patronizing me when I've done nothing wrong. Such foulness. I've started looking for work long ago but I guess there's just no luck / I suck? I'll keep going at it anyway.

Speaking of friends, they seems to be getting attached/taking the leap one by one this year. They all said the same thing to me, that it, they'd really be happy to see me attached as well. Er, but I don't? I can't say I don't like it since I've never been in a relationship but I've never even thought about having one in the first place. It just isn't in my priorities right now. I know I'm not that young anymore but still! I'm still young! People have guessed me to be 22yrs old! HAHAHA! How true is the guess, I won't know but I'm still happy to hear that. :p

Lotsa first for me in this short period as well. I've had my first gym session (which by the way I stopped while having 2 more sessions left. More on it later). My first straight bangs haircut. My first time dying my hair. Hmmm, I think there's a few more but I can't remember them now. Anyhows....

I've also finally "cleared" my room. Went to Ikea to get a few stuff for the room and it looks pretty decent now. Not 100% completed yet but at least it looks 100% better. Hahaha. I'm happy.

The reason why I stopped my gym sessions is because my right knee started clicking louder and louder after I went. It was already clicking before but I didn't pay much attention to it and one day, my knee started hurting a lot and I couldn't even bend it. I went to the polyclinic to have a look see and they referred me to an orthopedic at TTSH. Found out that my kneecap is slanted to on side and now I have to go physiotherapy for it. T_T Every 2 weeks. *sigh*

One thing I'm really looking forward to, other than the end of my contract, is my trip to NZ in late Nov! It's shortened from a 2 week trip to 1 week trip due to work commitments from K. It's okay as long as I get to go. G, K and S have been to the northern islands before but I couldn't because of monetary issues. So now, I'm going before no one's willing to accompany me in sky diving and the likes. Better late than never!

So... that's about it?
Hope things look up for me moving forward.

Laters :)
  • Current Music
    Katy Perry - One Of The Boys
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we interrupt this programme with a short announcement...

So... I haven't got a new job yet but it seems that everyone else has. It's a little disappointing and not to mention discouraging but let's not go into that today.

I've spent some time clearing my room these days. Mainly because my mom's already done with the rest of the house. I told her to leave my stuff alone so now she's nagging me to get it done. There's a few things I wanna get after I've started clearing my room..

: new storage spaces
: new curtains
: new paint job (wall and new coat of varnish for my table)
: external clothes storage (my current one is used to put stuff for the house. Only 1 "block" is mine :\ )

which means I need to make a trip down to Ikea. Soon. Hopefully.

I've been wanting to get rid of stuff since forever and now that I've finally done it, I need new spaces to stores what's left. If only I can customize my own storage space, then I could save some effort going through all the mags to see what I think will work.

No, I'm not starting a new chapter or anything of that sort. Nothing significant like that. It's just a way overdue room overhaul.

I've also started going to the gym. Sorta. I seriously lack motivation. Haha but that's not new. Anyway, I paid the money for 10 sessions, so we'll see how it goes after that.

Besides the room and going to the gym, the other thing that happened was the Mayday concert. It was good but I think maybe the muddy floor kinda dampened my mood a little, not to mention I got a self inflicted injury while waiting to go in. Meh. Also the ending didn't seen as good as last year's but overall, it was great. Maybe the next one I'll attend is the one in Taiwan! Haha! Can't wait to go back for a holiday!
  • Current Music
    The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

er.. Happy New Year?

Okay. So I've only just noticed my last post was in Sep.. last year. I've been meaning to post a few things but then things just got in the way or I was simply too lazy to switch the computer on.

So anyways.. It's the new year and nothing's changed, unfortunately. Let's start way back in Nov: Took a trip down to Taiwan with angelfeathers and a few of our mutual friends. We wanted to go free-and-easy but due to very expected behaviors, we took a tour instead. Haha. The trip was good! I've been looking forward to since the beginning of the year so least to say, I've really enjoyed it. Especially when I've got great company. =) (Photos to be up when I feel like it. haha)

I was supposed to meet up with a few of my Taiwanese friends there but my mobile's battery unexpectedly expanded and was unusable. Thus, making me unable to contact here there. But at least she was here in Sept so we got to meet anyway, haha!

Then came December, where it was chocolate overdose season. A colleague of mine went over to a few part and Europe and bought too much chocolate back for us. Then there was Christmas and everyone and everywhere was giving chocolates. And the same colleague when back to Europe for another trip and brought back an even bigger load of chocolate. I think I'd be staying away from chocolates for a while. Oh yeah, and besides chocolate, there was like 2 weeks in a row that I had really good food. By good food, I mean expensive and sinful meals. Sigh. December makes me poor and fat. Sad face.

Also in December, unfortunately, Haro's dad moved on. Hopes he's in a better place now and hope that Haro's situation turns for the better as well. Family matters are so complicated. :/

And so here we are in 2010. Like I've said, pretty much nothing's changed. I still have the same job, which I do not like. I have no resolutions for the year but hope things will turn out better than last year anyway. I am still keeping an eye out for a job. My room is still a mess. But I am fatter though. Hahaha. Sad face.

To end off, I got tagged by monkeyfruit for the following:

A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it."

1. I can't put a good book down once I've start reading it. Which means no shower until I get dragged or finished the book.
2. I've planned where I wanna go for trips till 2012. And some additional potential locations.
3. I hate celery.
4. It's cheesy but I love music and would love to have some talent to make some.
5. I can crack my fingers, wrists, elbow, back, knee and toes.
6. I have sensitive eyes. I can't look at the sky without squinting even when it's cloudy.
7. I'll be the first one dead if there's a natural disaster because I can't swim, cycle and run.

I tag: angelfeathers, walkingroads, thismanken, froggalicious, nuttytentacle and k3lvin.
I'm one short but these are dead blogs anyway. Haha.

Hope that was interesting for you guys. Haha!

  • Current Music
    monkey majik - pretty people
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