||[May. 12th, 2005|08:57 pm]
Monday was insane. I knew there was going to be sylvan choir tryout after school, but i knew i was most likely to chicken out so i wasnt sacred or anything all day. Then after school i saw Amy (choir friend) and she was telling me to go to tryouts with her. I started freaking out. my heart was racing, i thought i was going to have a heart attack, i couldnt breathe, i was hypervenalating, and i thought i was gonna die cause i was so scared of auditioning. and i went in there for a while and looked around and there was like a million people in there. So i went out side to practice singing the lord bless you and keep you with amy and giana and pracrice the scales. then it was getting close to our audition time. and i chickened out and i wanted to walk home. so i said bye to amy and giana and i was trying to walk home, then amy and giana grabbed me and said your trying out! and they kept pulling me and then they pulled me into a wall! HAHAHAH! it was hilarious. and i said im sorry i will tryout next year. and amy said "well if your not doing it then me and giana arent either." and she got her backpack and started walking with me and i felt super bad cause they are both great singers. and i didnt want them to miss this chance because of me. so i told thme i would just watch them. amy did her audition great of course. i bet she will get in. and me and giana asked to do our auditions last. after waiting for 3 hours, mr b, my teacher told us to go home cause it would be a long time til he got to us. haha what a waste of time. and he said we could do our auditions in class on tuesday.
In first period i was practicing the lord bless you and keep you and the scales with amy and giana and i was doing great. then giana did her audition and got ALL 5's which is 25 out of 25. and amy saw her score which was 25 out of 25. and then it was my turn to do my audition. I was sooo scared. AHHH. and i did the major scale perfect and got a 5/ then i did the minor scale and got a five. then i did the cramatic scale and got a 4. then i did the tonal memory.... (thats when the teacher plays 3 to 5 notes on the piano and i had to sing them back perfectly) and i could hear the right notes in my head, but the right notes WOULDNT COME OUT RIGHT. ughhh. i hated myself. i got a 3 on that. then we did the lord bless you and keep you. me the alto, someone else as a sapranoe(sp?), some one as the tenor, and someone as the bass. and i had to hold my part. and i did that perfectly cause i think its super easy. and i got a 5. so my final score was 22 out of 25. I felt horrible. i felt like i did so bad and that everyone did better than me. cause most people i kneqw did. I couldnt stop thinking about how bad i did on tonal memory all day and night.
Mr. b was talking about all the auditions and how there was a lot of upcoming freshman tried out and how sooo many people tried out and how there was a lot of good people and its going to be hard to pick and not everyone in my class made it. and i totally think im not going to get in this year. god i suck at life. i cant believe i screwed up my chance this year. goddddddd. UGH. i feel shitty about the whole situation.
Today was hecka fun in 1st period! amy and giana had to do dance auditions today so amy was gonna tech giana how to dance. and i wanted to learn too so we went outside to practice. and we learned all this leaping and spins and shit. it was aweosme. we practiced all period. and in between other classes. everyone would watch us in amazement hahahah it was great. Today i cut my own bangs cause im hardcore like that and they look a million times c00ler.
TOMORROW ERICA IS COMING OVER!!! i miss her so much. we used to be the best of friends. i hope we start to hang out more.
d00d hilary might be able to come over for the weekend a week from firday! how sweet is that! i hella hope she can come cause i love her to death!