"that would defeat the purpose"

I've taken my bike on buses, and now on the train. I am convinced that I won't need a car for transportation until I do something foolish like have a kid. Maybe I'm a raging hippie but really, everyone, it's very liberating to be able to get around using only what you can carry.

This weekend I went to Camarillo and discovered that my sanity deteriorates after approx 30 hours there. I'm closer to defining what exactly chafes me: a sense of complacency with a life revolving around TV and competitive sports and department store sales. I reminisce and visit my places but the fog of suburban ideals is settled so permanently there that I can't help but feel smothered.

I spent time with much-missed Kai Jay, saw the new Harry Potter movie with my parents, visited the neighbors I used to babysit for, and donated 11 inches of my hair to Locks of Love.

(no subject)

Could it be that at the core of my less-than-admirable character traits is a deep love for everything alive?

Corey is in Okawa, Japan, staying with one of my host families from three years ago. After coming back to America, I didn't keep contact with them, not because I don't love them dearly, or because I underestimated their kindness, but because, or so I felt, to keep thinking about them and missing them would have broken my heart in a way. So I flew forward with my life and immersed myself in everything around me with a renewed sense of who I was. Maybe this was wrong, and maybe to cut myself from them was especially egregious in the context of Japanese cultural and social conventions, but that was how I dealt. A few days ago I wrote them a letter for Corey to deliver, which was perhaps more open than they expect or are used to. I don't even know how much they remember me, but am doing a fair job of not worrying, too much, about how it will be received.

celebrate freedom with imitation bombs

I found a phone in the street
it was an expensive one
I poked around and found the list of recently-received calls,
and called some numbers, unsuccessfully.
this phone had a desktop picture of a mostly-naked woman
and editorialized contacts:
"Jon muthafucka ___"
"Meggie baby"
Eventually I thought to try speed dial
and reached the owner's parents.
We had a nice chat,
apparently his name is James
and he is "a very nice boy".
After a complicated series of events
I found out that he lives in the apartment complex next to mine.
I returned his phone
he gave me a hug and five dollars
I said the phone was in the street, his friend said "you've saved his life!", and James said, very gratefully,
"Hell I probably wouldn't have..."
and I looked at him, and wondered why he would not have
(returned a phone to its owner)
then they invited me to a party
and I declined.

Then I walked to campus, waited for a call, walked home
But not before seeing Andrew who made me genuinely, bigly, smile
And not before laying on the curvey bench in the middle of HSSB and gazing up at the tree and listening.
It's a nice tree. branches thin like veins.

I think I need a best friend
to keep me from backing out of things due to social anxiety.
Strong preference to gay males.

(no subject)

This National Geographic article about swarm theory is getting internet buzz! And, oddly, press! Last time I was in Camarillo, two(?) weeks ago, I read it and wanted to cut it out but not enough to ask my dad's permission to mutilate his magazine. Now it comes to me via Digg via the GOOD blog. And in today's Daily Sound a lady spends her whole column summarizing it.


here is some shadow art.
tim noble and sue webster:

from the carpet


Today I took a bus downtown to the Solstice Parade and sat next to an old fat man and read the intro to A Midsummer Night's Dream. Then several hours later I took a bus back home and sat next to the same old fat man and didn't even realize it until he said, "Was I sitting next to you before?" only this time I was reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman which I spotted for sale for $0.25 at the downtown library after not being able to find it in the stacks. Coincidence or NOT.

Here is a rough schedule of my life starting tomorrow:

Tuesdays, EAB supposedly
Thursday nights until August, 1-unit Edible Plants class at SBCC
Sundays, Grow Native and Wild restoration project
Ongoing, Department of Public Worms internship (composting)
Ongoing, Vernal pool invasive plants research project
Ongoing, my job. at the library. I almost forgot.
TBD, Food Not Bombs

Jun 24-27, Sustainability Conference of awesomeness at SBCC and UCSB
Jun 28- July 5, House-sit for the Hildners and take care of Gracie the large black poodle
August 6-Sept 14, Summer school Mon-Thurs. "Environmental Ethics" and "People and Cultures of India"
Very soon after Sept 14, move out
Very soon after that, fly to India

Never return!
just kidding


Sometimes consumer marketing seeps into my bubble and it's to my benefit- this morning I got two free razors delivered to my door with my (free, promotional) LA Times.

This week, I found them! the lovable anarchists downtown. their existence is comforting.

If the people I've talked to are any indication, most of us need a reminder, so here: it's Fathers' Day