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Further adventures of Mooncat.

My humans have been very busy recently. They have gone out and left me All By Myself several times. I do not approve: they have a duty to stay in and attend to my every need. I don't know what a Cambridge Folk Festival is, or a Unicon, but they are bad because the humans go out to them and leave me with only the boy cats for company. This is not acceptable. Boy cats are vastly inferior to me, and moreover should not exist because they distract attention from me.
When they have not been out, they have been having other humans to stay. This is mostly good. Other humans can be colonised and made to wait on me. Recently, they have imported Senior Human for several days. My normal female human is Senior Human's kitten. I like Senior Human: she understands that I am Queen and must have all the fuss, and she lets me sit on her lap and use her trousers to keep my claws tidy. But she does not let me sleep on the bed. That is bad. All beds are mine.
Horus tried to claim Senior Human too. He sat on her lap. I explained to her that this was all wrong, but she ignored me. I had to turn my back on her for several minutes.
My humans have also have other humans to stay. One of them was mevennen. This was extra good. Mevennen is properly trained. She knows I am Top and that I need to be waited on whenever I ask for anything. She does smell of strange cats, though. I had to work quite hard at scent-marking her to make her smell of me, which is proper. She brought T with her. T needs training, if you ask me (although he does understand that Ish is Bad and Not Allowed). He doesn't do what I tell him at once. Next time he visits, I may have to bite him until he learns better.
There were also some new humans. jemck is good. She does good scritches. She brought her kitten with her. He is very big: almost a catlet. He went to sleep in the living room and shut out the boy cats because they are Not Allowed. But he let me stay and walk all over him in his sleep. That was good. Humans need to be walked on regularly. It keeps them in their place and also causes gravity, so that they don't fly off like birds and forget to feed me.
Today I went to the vet, which was Not Good. The vet prodded me and squeezed my tummy. I was very good and did not bite her or use my claws. She said I was very beautiful and gave me scritches. Boy cats don't get scritches because they are not good [and because they weren't there: La M].

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la_marquise_de_
Aug. 21st, 2012 09:21 am (UTC)
Boy cats are always bad. It's good for them to suffer. My human thinks you are being very sensible, though.
Mooncat.

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