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Further adventures of Mooncat.

My humans have been very busy recently. They have gone out and left me All By Myself several times. I do not approve: they have a duty to stay in and attend to my every need. I don't know what a Cambridge Folk Festival is, or a Unicon, but they are bad because the humans go out to them and leave me with only the boy cats for company. This is not acceptable. Boy cats are vastly inferior to me, and moreover should not exist because they distract attention from me.
When they have not been out, they have been having other humans to stay. This is mostly good. Other humans can be colonised and made to wait on me. Recently, they have imported Senior Human for several days. My normal female human is Senior Human's kitten. I like Senior Human: she understands that I am Queen and must have all the fuss, and she lets me sit on her lap and use her trousers to keep my claws tidy. But she does not let me sleep on the bed. That is bad. All beds are mine.
Horus tried to claim Senior Human too. He sat on her lap. I explained to her that this was all wrong, but she ignored me. I had to turn my back on her for several minutes.
My humans have also have other humans to stay. One of them was mevennen. This was extra good. Mevennen is properly trained. She knows I am Top and that I need to be waited on whenever I ask for anything. She does smell of strange cats, though. I had to work quite hard at scent-marking her to make her smell of me, which is proper. She brought T with her. T needs training, if you ask me (although he does understand that Ish is Bad and Not Allowed). He doesn't do what I tell him at once. Next time he visits, I may have to bite him until he learns better.
There were also some new humans. jemck is good. She does good scritches. She brought her kitten with her. He is very big: almost a catlet. He went to sleep in the living room and shut out the boy cats because they are Not Allowed. But he let me stay and walk all over him in his sleep. That was good. Humans need to be walked on regularly. It keeps them in their place and also causes gravity, so that they don't fly off like birds and forget to feed me.
Today I went to the vet, which was Not Good. The vet prodded me and squeezed my tummy. I was very good and did not bite her or use my claws. She said I was very beautiful and gave me scritches. Boy cats don't get scritches because they are not good [and because they weren't there: La M].



( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 16th, 2012 09:08 pm (UTC)
Did the vet declare that your prodded-places and tummy were as perfect as the rest of you? *is a little anxious here*

PS, boy-cats send respectful adoration, for I have explained to them that you are best.
Aug. 16th, 2012 09:57 pm (UTC)
She seemed pleased with my tummy. She wants to see it again in 3 weeks.
Of course I am best.
[Moon had an elevated heart-rate when she had her boosters back in June, and the vet asked to see her in 2 months. Heart nice and normal today; a small mass in tummy which is probably bucolic end product of cat, but vet wants to see her again just in case.]
Aug. 16th, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
I Do Not Get your rubbish about boy cats, but since this is your human's webspace, I'll refrain from remarking on that here.

My human, too, has left me at the kennel *twice* in the past four weeks. There are dogs that bark there, even if I can't see them. Do Not Like. When my human picks me up to take me home, I express my displeasure all the way home. She just pays attention to the long black snaky think on which the car-beast travels.

Also? She took me to the vet a few days before abandoning me at the kennel this time. Belly prodding? Do Not Like. I tell the vet what I think of her by sitting in the carrier with my back to the door. That. Shows. HER.

My human tells me that she will be going away AGAIN soon to spend some time with your human and also Mevennen (and T if he is there).

Aug. 17th, 2012 09:17 am (UTC)
My humans send spare humans to wait on me if they go away. This is acceptable.
But boy cats are bad. They try to steal my dinner.
Aug. 17th, 2012 01:39 pm (UTC)
My human did that a few times. And I really like my HumAunt L--. But last year, at that event where our humans met one another in Wales, HumAunt L-- left a day before planned, leaving me alone and unattended for a whole night and day. My human was Not Pleased At All, and now she takes me to a kennel, which Does Not Please Me At All.

Oh, and BTW, I wouldn't eat your dinner. I hate all other cats, and any dinner that you'd started in on would smell of, yanno, you. So there. ;-P

Edited at 2012-08-17 01:42 pm (UTC)
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:24 pm (UTC)
It is bad that your spare human left you on your own. That should never happen! We should be waited on all the time!
Aug. 16th, 2012 10:40 pm (UTC)
But surely all boy cats bow down to the senior lady cat! That is the law. Sez Little.

Sadly, I've just helped remove a neighbour's little boy cat from the road [bad, bad road]. Tomorrow, if his owners don't call round, he goes into our Pet Cemetary. Have enshrouded him, am drinking to his kitty memory (which took much red wine (and, apparently, I smell of flattened kitten, and I don't think I should be ashamed of this)). Tilly will be sad; the livestock, less so.
Aug. 17th, 2012 08:53 am (UTC)
I'm sorry. I usually think that if they get to two years old they have usually learned traffic sense.
Aug. 17th, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
I've always thought that too. But it's a very busy road we live by.
Aug. 17th, 2012 09:17 am (UTC)
That is indeed very sad.
Aug. 17th, 2012 02:55 pm (UTC)
Yes. He was a particularly friendly little cat.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 17th, 2012 09:19 am (UTC)
I was an Only Cat, when Caspian Who Taught Me died. It was good. I ruled! But the humans said I was 'too clingy' and 'too anxious' and brought Ish.
I do not approve of Ish. He is annoying. He sits on My laps which are all mine.
Aug. 17th, 2012 12:17 am (UTC)
Boy cats. Pffff. I Glare at mine and then he bites my tail, and I swat him on the nose and he goes away. And Momma TwoLegs laughs and sighs and cuddles us both so that's not too bad...

But the going away is Worst. Do. Not. Like.

Aug. 17th, 2012 09:19 am (UTC)
When boy cats go out of the cat flap, I bite them on the bottom. It is really funny!
Aug. 17th, 2012 07:17 am (UTC)
I AM ONLY CAT and my person knows to never, ever bring boy cats into my kingdom. Going away is really bad. She shouldn't do it. She went away a few weeks ago and I throw up on my sleeping blanket. She had to wash it when she got home. We should make petition - Tell hoomans to never ever go away from good girl cats.
Aug. 17th, 2012 09:20 am (UTC)
This would be excellent.
Aug. 17th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
Ah, yes, my foodbringermonkey is kind of stupid and doesn't understand her role in my worship, either. She actually invites the vet into our home to torment me!

She leaves me alone all day. I try to prevent this by tripping her at the top of the stairs, but she's too nimble. She doesn't look that nimble, but foodbringermonkeys can surprise you.

I hope that the vet will not prod your tummy overmuch at the next visit. I know you are too well-bred a lady to chomp on the vet, but I confess I would have difficulty being so tolerant.
Aug. 18th, 2012 11:18 am (UTC)
The vet comes to your house? That is Evil!
Aug. 21st, 2012 03:40 am (UTC)
Dear Mooncat,

I invite the vet into our home because Random is a fierce warrior of unsurpassed skill. He did, while drugged and bound, manage to bite the vet's hand right through the heavy leather gloves, drawing copious amounts of blood. If he would behave more civilly in her office, I wouldn't need to invite the vet into our home. I supplicate him with catnip and treats, and he deigns to let her approach while at home.

Believe me, I would rather not torture him, either, but he is an utter thug remarkably strong-willed and defiant.

--Random's Foorbringermonkey
Aug. 21st, 2012 09:21 am (UTC)
Boy cats are always bad. It's good for them to suffer. My human thinks you are being very sensible, though.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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