I wish to complain most strongly about today. It is not the day I ordered. At first, it all appeared to be going as required -- my cunning midnight ruses caused the humans to exclude both boy cats from their bedroom for being wildebeests, leaving me as sole cat and Supreme Mistress of the Pillows. This was good. Then female human got up when I told her, without me having to over-exert myself by turning all her tissues into confetti. (I only tore one. This is almost proper service, though I think they could read my mind if they only tried.) And I got acceptable food at breakfast, for once, and stupid Horus who is stupid did not dare try and steal it. I am Mighty! He Fears Me!
Then it all started to go wrong. The nice sunny day I had ordered does not work properly. There are clouds and things. This is not right. Then the marquise decided to do messing about with her fur, which is wet and makes Bad Smells and distracts her from paying attention to me. And now she's doing cleaning which is even more wet.
Something should be done. I demand recompense.