August 23rd, 2010

Horus

Help they are evil

Help my humans have gone mad they are torturing me. Evil black cat that Does Not Belong tried to beat me up he bit my foot but I beated him I am tough. It was cool only my foot hurt and I had to hold it up and hop it was not good I could not do stairs it was bad. Bad humans grabbed me and put nasty stingy stuff on my foot, then they made me stay in all yesterday they are horrid. And today girl human put me in the Big Evil Box of Doom and took me in the Hell Thing That Moves and Smells and then made me go in the Bad Place with Sharp Things. And I poohed on Evil Box and peed on it and on Hell Thing and that was my revenge I am good at revenge. Bad Place people fussed me and said I am handsome they are nice humans I like them. But then girl human put me back in the Evil Box and the Hell Thing so I did more pooh and then waited till we stopped and threw up on Hell Thing I am clever. But they are Bad.
And then she put nasty stuff on my tummy it is sticky. But I am magic I stared at her she gave me tuna and Ish and Stuck-Up Mooncat did not get tuna hah hah.
But she still won't let me out to beat up Evil black cat some more. Please do diggings and make me tunnel to go out.
Horus.


Or, in the human version, Horus managed to get bitten on his front left paw late on Saturday -- we suspect the small black cat that has been hanging around the garden lately. He's now on antibiotics and painkillers, plus nappy cream for his nasty scabby tummy (he's reacting to something outside). He's not amused. Neither I am I. Taking Horus to the vet is a special for of hell, as he is utterly terrified of the cat, shrieks the entire way, loses control of all his bodily functions, shrieks even louder in distress at that... You get the picture. Plus, cat pee and cat vomit on the car seat: does not want. How he managed to get both through the cat-carrier grill is beyond me. He'll be staying in most of this week, and will, I suspect, become spherical, as when shut in he tends to eat everything in sight. If you want to meet him, this would be a good week, as he tends to be more sociable when he's bored.
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