with eyes wide open

it's like this, i suppose

"don’t forget to smile"

she smiled
ballet shoes laced up real tight
swept by the fringe of her
flamingo skirt, curled upwards
trailing up to the corset
holding her in

heart hammering,
while she counts her breaths.

trying not to
breathe too loud
breathe too much
just to smile
trying to hold up
her five tier tiara
upright (along with herself.)

she lifts her hand
pursing her lips
painted passion red
zeroing in on the camera
with her dark glittered eyes
and best saccharine gaze because...

"Everybody loves you"

trying to maintain the pose
grace and beauty
till the picture is taken
and the light goes off
shattering the gypsy mystique
atmosphere surrounding her

and the lights fade.
sleep = <3


I hope you're having a great time in NY and that your day is one of the happiest ever! Eat lots of cake. With strawberries :3
  • Current Music
    *sings the happy b-day song* :P
with eyes wide open

(no subject)

I’m beginning to find myself
trapped between
half-starved barren
pieces of paper
and that broken pencil
with no way of sharpening

Like I'm losing myself
No imagination
No inspiration

I’m beginning to wonder
Why am I doing this now?
For you? Or in my own horrible self guilt?

Eating sugar straight from the bowl
Never bothered me ‘til now
  • Current Music
    Stars- Switchfoot

Can't sleep..

I usually don't post song lyrics, but my cousin sent me a song [having no idea I had heard it before] from a few years back that I used to love..even though I didn't know the translation. I mean, it sounds so sorrowful and the video is pretty eerie, but for some reason I was always attached to it. Now that I've actually looked up the meaning of the words, I think I understand why.

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It sounds simple, but the feeling I get when I listen to it is hard to explain. It's like searching for a part of your soul...Yeah. Just something that was on my mind for a while ^^;;

EDIT: http://www.eyemaze.com
  • Current Mood
    recumbent reflective

My life is just full of awkward moments

Wow..ok, so a lot of things have happened. Like the New Year! Except it was really anti-climatic this time around involving me thinking too much and being lonely, but it's all good now ^^ And I have my resolutions! This is late, but eh..who cares :P

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Ahh..every time I laugh my tummy hurts! Had to do 50 situps and 30 pushups today x.x..and I have no muscle ^^;; What does this have to do with running anyway?! That's right. NOTHING. >.>

In other news, I'm going to Anime Expo this coming July, and the best part is, I didn't even ask. YAY. Tam and Chau asked me, which means they're interested :D I didn't have to say anything so no coercion will have to be used at all! *pleased* I hope they agree to do a FFVIII cosplay, because I've always wanted to do Selphie. Hehe, and now I feel all over-excited and lameee :P I'm not missing this--its similar to how I feel when I read a great book, try to express my enthusiasm, and am met by mostly blank stares. Anyway, you all better not miss it either! ^_^

Oh, I also have some detective work to do. Today my secret buddy from yearbook gave me a $40 gift certificate to Nordstrom! That completely shocked me o_o The price range for most ranged from $15-20...so I have to find out who this mystery person is! Well..I Probably shouldn't. I'm not supposed to know yet, but I feel so unworthy. I'm also curious, as always ^^;; It MUST be someone that knows me or someone super rich XDD Whoever it is though, I need to get a small thank you gift.

Anyway~ I should get back into sleep mode ^^ I have to wake up at early for driving lessons at least once a week now. Watch the roads XD
  • Current Music
    Frou Frou - Let Go
sleep = <3

Just breathe, allow the friction

Brief recap of the week. Because I'm lazy and stuff >.>

  • Only a few more days until school starts again [insert angst + woe T_T] Completely spoils the festive New Year feeling!

  • Caught up to 3 months of Bleach ^^ ..Talk about completely random plot twists! Who saw that coming? o.o [Byakuya is my new 2nd favorite character! Aizen is so not.] Ooh, and if anyone has the full version of the 4th opening song, Ichirin No Hana, then you can send it me and I'll be your best friend forever~ :D

  • Am living on oranges + boba. Mmmm <3

  • Also, I think I'm slowly becoming vegetarian..

  • My friend just got engaged! It was arranged by her family..but wow. I'm still recovering from shock ^^;;

  • I got your card elle787! ♥ It was very cute :) Came fast for being all the way from the UK too!

  • My room is now so clean that the shiny glare will blind you! XD

  • Saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith. So now I ask, why are assassins so cool? I mean, the downside is that they kill people but I wouldn't mind marrying one XP; Hmm..

    Ok, that's all. I'm off to eat more oranges XD Have a nice day!
    • Current Music
      Growing a Garden - Castledoor

    Time to be merry ^^

    "It's the most wonderful time of the year.
    With the kids jingle belling,
    and everyone telling you,
    "Be of good cheer,"
    It's the most wonderful time of the year."

    Happy Holidays everyone! I love you all :) -hugs-
    • Current Music
      Christmas music

    Baaaack ^_^

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    Did I mention that college applications are done? Now I just have to wait. Waitwaitwait until it drives me insaneeeeee @.@

    MY ROOM..OMG. This is so unlike me, haha. I'm such a neat person most of the time, but just look at this! LOOK o_o;

    In other less stress related news, I tried to give blood for the UCLA blood drive at school today and I got turned down! At first I thought it might be because of my weight/age ratio or possibly low iron or something, but The REAL problem is that my pulse is below normal! You have to be between the range of at least 55-90 and I'm 46 >.>; Apparently if I had tried to give blood I would have felt sick, fainted, been sore, or uh, something like that. Doesn't low pulse mean I'm healthy though? I thought low pulse rates were good...lol. But when I told Kyle he was like "Oh my god, you're dying!" :P That scared me...kind of. His is like 75! Maybe I should look this pulse thing up XD;; But anyway, I was really disappointed! I wasn't old enough to donate last year, and when I finally can, I get turned down -.-

    ..I still took a PB&J sandwich though :D It was yummy.

    EDIT: Oo, Wuthering Heights is such a nice read ^^
    • Current Music
      Especially For You- M.Y.M.P

    Just ignore this

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    I know. I'm usually not like this, but things will get better. I promise.. ^^ I just need some time to think


    You spend so much of your time
    expecting to become
    someone else
    always someone
    who will be different
    someone to whom a moment
    whatever moment it may be
    at last has come
    and who has been
    met and transformed
    into no longer being you
    and so has forgotten you

    meanwhile in your life
    you hardly notice
    the world around you
    lights changing
    sirens dying along the buildings
    your eyes intent
    on a sight you do not see yet
    not yet there
    as long as you
    are only yourself

    with whom as you
    recall you were
    never happy
    to be left alone for long

    -W.S. Merwin
    • Current Mood
      distressed distressed

    Still alive ^^

    Ok, so I've been wanting to update all week because so much has been going on! Especially Harry Potter night but I haven't had time. Thank goodness I have Thanksgiving break now..[even though it still won't feel like one] I really really need it o.o

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    I feel kind of bad for my sister. She got three C's and an "accidental" F on her report card so my dad doesn't want to let her go see the movie now. That's harsh ;_;
    • Current Music
      HP music stuff