Tags: stat

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Your eyes are the size of the moon

Alright, I've decided to respectfully decline my Stat professor's request to turn Homework#3 in by midnight. You can drop one and damn it this is the one for me. 

Also, don't judge me when I say that I watch a lot of my favorite New Deal program, PBS. ('secrets of the parthenon" was awesome).  Last night, Nature had an excellent program about how the Red Knot (i.e. a very cute migrating bird) is completely dependant on the Horseshoe Crab(i.e. creepy motherfuckers).  
COMPLICATION:  fishermen in the 90s were all "WHOA these (the HS Crabs) make great bait, let me just overharvest the shit out of them", and that decision killed off most of the Red Knots. 
RESOLUTION: Try to help the Red Knots, (and the terrifying Horseshoe crabs) by putting a two year moratorium on the fishing of the crabs to allow time for the population to recover.

Why do I tell you this?

Two Reasons

A) Because it's a good thing to know about in case you ever get the chance to help save the Red Knots. Plus saving Horseshoe crabs is great for us because their blood is used to detect diseases in humans!!

but mostly to introduce you to the concept of a moratorium so that you understand my second point:

B) I'M PUTTING A TWO YEAR MORATORIUM ON ALL HAIR GEL USE FOR MALES OF THE HUMAN SPECIES.
The overuse is ridiculous. I can't see the board in classes due to the glare caused by the shellacked heads of my fellow metro-male students. My retinas need time to recover, to regenerate rods and cones scorched by the high beam sheen of gelled male hair.  As an added environmental bonus, females with frizzy hair are very dependent on the taming effects of hair gel, so the moratorium will aid in preventing a shortage.  If  there's a gel shortage, there's going to be a hair explosion, the likes of which will prevent sunlight from reaching the ground, causing a mass extinction and ice age the likes of which the earth has not seen since the Mesazoic Era.