ktk____________ (ktk____________) wrote,
ktk____________
ktk____________

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Swan-diving off of the deep end of my tragic cigarette

I've spent this last week at either one of two extremes: chagrined or amused.

It's been exhausting, and I'm tempted to go in and adjust my meds, 'cause I can't imagine its healthy. But, the thing is, I've always been that way.

My Dad used to tell me I needed to even out- I'd call him all excited about something and he'd tell me to calm down, that I needed to quit with the highs and lows because it's bad for me. But here's the thing: I can't quit. I like the highs too much. And even, I think, the lows.

When my depression really kicked my ass a couple of years ago- I was like a zombie. I never felt anything. And I just kept getting lower and lower because there was no high to balance me out.

So, I think, that maybe it's just me. Maybe pinging back and forth between extremes of emotion is my natural state. I love the elated feeling, and I even savor the sad, if only because it's interesting. It's something to feel. And I hate to be bored.

I've considered whether this is a sign of bi-polar disorder or something, but I really don't think it is. Maybe there's some hypomania in there, but in a very mild form. My mood only really swings upward, and it's not detrimental to my life or the people around me. It's just... well, me.

And I'm learning to like that.
And there's my soul-searching for the day.

In other news, I've been writing some interesting things lately. It feels good to be writing again period, but I'm especially proud of this recent stuff.

Also, I win at life, but not by much with regards to my summer classes. I don't think I got an A on my exam, but I think I passed it... which is awesome considering I studied for about 2 hours with only the text to guide me.

So, yet again I took quizzes that katja had on her journal. All of the results are surprisingly accurate, for once, especially the temperament and attention span ones. Also they're eerily related to the beginning of this post...
Heh, in any case, I heartily recommend them.


Teehee- I have cholera. But actually this is really accurate. If you know me, you know the first two sections are ridiculously true: especially "easily excited" and "instantly passionate" LOL The last part I like to think is untrue... but not completely.


You Have a Choleric Temperament



You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.

Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.

You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.



You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.

Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.

You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.



At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.

Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.

A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.



HA, I don't think this comes as a surprise to anyone...



Your Attention Span is Short



What attention span? It's difficult for anything to keep your interest.

You are so easily distracted, it's a wonder you could finish this quiz!

You find focusing a challenge. Your mind tends to wander to the strangest places.



While it may be hard for you to complete tasks, you're very creative.

You are easily inspired, and you are often thinking of something interesting.

The world would be a boring place without people like you.



I would like to know who these salsa personalities are...



You Are Barbeque Sauce



You are a social person. You enjoy cooking for other people.

You are both skillful and competitive. You enjoy mastering hard tasks.

You appreciate complexity more than simplicity.



Your taste in food tends to lean toward interesting flavors.

You appreciate exotic spice combinations. You tend to like cutting edge, fusion cuisine.

You get along with all personalities from a distance. Except salsa personalities, who always seem to annoy you.

Tags: depression, meme, purdue, quiz, writing
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