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Apr. 25th, 2016

To ask or not to ask... that is the question at hand.

I'm a single mother with three kids. That's rough.

One of my children has a chronic disease.
That's rough.

I'm moving across country to be closer to my parents.
That's rough.

While I can struggle and get to the other side, some help would be really, really nice.

So, do I ask for help, or continue to struggle alone?

Family and friends have helped as far as they are willing and/or able... so who is next to ask? Random strangers‽ *exasperated cry*

If YOU care, and can... would you please consider helping with a very small amount? Anything would help my situation, even if it's just to reaffirm people do care.

Thank you for reading this. *warm smile* I am thankful for being able to live this rough life! I breathe, I have a job. I have much to be thankful for! I'm just having a hard time at the moment. I'll be okay... honestly. It's what I do. Thank you!


Jun. 19th, 2015


I can still feel it, the spear which stabbed me to the core. It's been years since it was pulled, but the ghost remains... scarred and painful.

I was giddy, they say, while I was healing. I don't remember much from those fevered days... and nights.

But today, today I feel it. Sliding into me, past my skin, between my innards... and I scream, my agony renewed.

Is this a dream from which I can... will wake? Or has this hell descended upon me again, waiting to bring me down into the depths of longing and insanity?

The cold hard head and the firm wooden shaft... a gateway towards my doom. I refuse Death but he is patient. I cannot escape this enduring torment. I scream again, panting from the effort. I can feel the slick fluid leaving my body. I shutter, my energy spent.

This spear cuts me to the core... yet I claw at reality, shredding the last bits of fabric, the last threads of my sanity.

Against this foe, I stand alone and fall before the night is through... only to wake alone, in my bed, my resolve renewed.

Sep. 20th, 2010

Bedtime Dance

What thoughts run through my head as I am sitting up, avoiding my bed?

What lingers beyond my thoughts, keeping sleep at bay like a fox?

I want to know what my mind hides, what lurks in the deep dark inside.

What thoughts feed it, I want to know. What keeps it below.

Sleep beacons like a warm lover, but dream's cold embrace stirs from me a shutter.

I stay, frozen with dread... but warmth and comfort await in my bed.

Ah, but exhaustion distracts me yet, pleasantly and finally, and so with that...

... I am off to bed.

Jul. 9th, 2009

Writer's Block: Firsts

What was the subject title of your first-ever LJ entry?
Subject: Good Afternoon
Date: February 14, 2004

my postCollapse )

Feb. 13th, 2009

Quote for the decade...

"It is never possible to deduce judgments of value from matters of fact" - David Hume

Nov. 4th, 2008

Get out there and VOTE!!

Only 38% (estimate) of registered voters exercised their rights in 2004.

That means 2/5 of the country decided for the remaining 3/5. If democracy is gonna work, you have to work it!!

Go, vote!!

Please help decide the future of our country... our own future's are at risk!

Oct. 27th, 2008

Break the Bottled Water Habit!!

Break the Bottled Water Habit

Apr. 25th, 2008

Now that's hot!

I love my husband.

I just received a call from my honey, saying he was just called by a friend of his... who was standing at the ticket window, getting tickets for Game 3 of the Suns vs. Spurs series. My honey actually called to see if I would mind him going to the game tonight while his friend waited for a return call!

My response had I been the one to get a call like that would be "yes, I'll tell my honey later that I'm going", but no. He calls and asks first.

Ah, I love my husband.

Really, I wouldn't have minded if he said yes and told me later. I'm just impressed with his consideration. Like I can't handle a 5 year old and a 2 year old on my own. *scoffs* I'll be fine. Hopefully, I'll get to see his scruffy mug during a crowd shot. We'll see...

Dec. 28th, 2006

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

You are Ocean Blue

You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded.

You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

These things are too true sometimes...

"Golden skin reflecting long hours surfing.
White plastic reflecting the swirling colors of information.
Swaying in and out, one finds killer wakes, slammin' beaches, and all the ladies.
Find "it" in the barrel and bid.
Hang loose, hold on, and enjoy the ride.
All the information is out there."

So, today is my birthday. I'm yet another year older and what I have to show for it is experience. I burned and I learned... I pushed and I grew.

I think sometimes I do too much... but then I remember how much fun I'm having and woohoo! it's a wild ride!

Catch me if you can! You'll have to keep up with the power of the ocean!



Dec. 13th, 2006

Beginnings and Endings

After some time, I have realized I miss someone.

  Standing by the rusted gate, a figure stood, cloaked in darkness as well as a long, dark jacket. The castle she looked upon was dark and ruined. A smile played across the woman's lips. How much happened, how many happy times were had?
  Suddenly, memories of it all came back with a rush. A cold embrace, a warm farewell... it was all here. All the fear and rage was beating at her psyche. Nothing was the same, once this place had entered her life.
  After years of devotion to the Church, she went willingly to the man that was to change her life. Little had she known the extent of the change she would endure. Nothing... nothing could have prepared her if she had.
  The woman started walking towards the ruins. As she approached the toppled stones, she paused. Why am I here? What does this place hold for me now?
  Suddenly it was clear to her. I am to understand the beginning to allow for the end.
  She searched through the night, looking for any scrap of that past. Only bits of china and pieces of tattered furniture from the previous owners remained. Nothing of her past was at this place.
  She sighed. It was too long ago. Too much had come between then and now.
  Time to move on...

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