Well, Kaya-san and I got stuck in a big storm, it was so foggy that we had to link up so we didnt loose eachother! A man told us of a Bed and Breakfast to go to, and its really good, very pleasent looking, and the people here look happy, it definitely brightened our moods.
I want to meet with Mana san so badly..and Kaya-san said hed try to get in touch with him.. I hope Mana san can call me soon, or at least arrange to meet with me somehow so we can talk..
Well, I decided to look around online (something im not to good at) for anything by Kozi, i heard he had gone solo after Malice Mizer and i wanted to check out his work.
He sounds pretty good..its nice that he was able to keep making music, Gackt, Mana..everyone was able to carry on making Music, what i didnt realise was that there are so many songs for me..so many after i "died" were made for me..
I couldnt help but cry when i found this out, why hadnt those dammed doctors told them i wasnt dead! Why didnt they find out? so many songs, so much sadness..and for nothing..and yet they still think of me as dead...
"Saikai no chi to bara" is one by my former band, no? and some even say Gackt-san wrote "U+K" for me...
i cant imagine what will happen when they find me..find me alive, will they kiss me and hug me, cry in joy that they still have me? or hate me for not finding them sooner..for putting them through pain.
believe me though..i am so grateful for that music..for those songs, i just hate to imagine their tears..
Well, i went to meet with Kaya-san as promised yesterday evening, and it was good to be back in Shinjuku, you know, its good to be back in Japan! I got a little lost in the station, but i soon found him. then we went off to the tea shop, talking about pretty general stuff i think, about what we did and what we could or couldnt do, we didnt touch really on our respective bands until we were inside.
I think i was more nervous then i led myself to believe, because i said some pretty goofy sounding stuff, but i was trying hard to be as nice and normal as i could to Kaya-san, afterall i didnt want him running off on me!
I did tell him though..all about the hospital, and how everyone thought i was going to die, i suppose everyone really did believe that to..even my band mates, which is why now no one really recognises who i am..
i want so badly to get in touch with Mana, or Gackt, or Kozi and Yu~ki! it dosent matter, hell i could even talk to their last singer right now.. i really need to let them know im not dead, i heard it was bad..when i left Malice Mizer..
but yes, we shared some stories, just things we liked, and didnt like. He was very sweet, very pretty to, and i know that you can have a male kind of pretty, but he was on the border of both..im not saying i found him sexually attractive, i dont think id be ready to take such a bold step yet, but nevertheless he is pretty.
Well..i hope soon il see him again, and meanwhile i want to meet with many other people to..
Wow, finally i have found someone who recognises me, although i'm not sure how, have i met him before? i have no idea, but he invited me out to tea in Shinjuku on thursday evening, and i more then readily accepted. A nice tea house, and especially after having no tea for months, it will most certainly be a pleasure.
I think i know breifly who he is, Kaya? I'm sure thats his name, a friend of Mana's, im also quite sure of that..hm, maybe hes a part of Mana's new band? or maybe just a friend of his, all the same im sure he has some connection to my old friend..
Speaking of Mana makes me feel sad, its only when i talk about them that i realise how fully i miss them..all of them..
"back from the dead" they called me, "how did he survive?" they said, but whatever the case, i did survive it, and i came out and now im back here in my old house, and i've met Kaya, and i'll soon have a friend once more.
Hes very pretty may i add, far prettier then i am, and more femanine to, in looks anyway, i hope i dont mess up, i can be quite the goofball at times, but he seemed a nice man..
wish me luck, tommorow night i will meet with Kaya in Shinjuku..
well, its been what, a week? maybe longer, maybe slightly shorter, but i havent heard from anyone, no one from malice mizer, or anyone else i knew even a little..
i had connections to a lot of bands, if only briefly...
dir en grey, psycho le cemu...x japan, ive come across all of those bands but to name a few, and probably more in the early days when i was new. I wish i could get hold of one of them so i could talk to them..i feel so lonely, where i was, no one knew my name, i was just some patient in a bed..
i have to get back to civilisation, its driving me insane being alone, and even my drums aren't enough to keep me company for much longer..
wow, i finally got here, i thought my travelling would never come to an end, i can't even remember how many planes i've been on to get here..lots of books have been read, believe me, i even learnt a new language, or pretty much...thats what you get, sitting next to a foreigner who never stops talking..
I'm lonely now though, i can't get in contact with anyone..and they don't have a clue where i am either, i suppose i'll have to wait and see what can be done about that though..
well, at least everything here is as i remember it..i might go and practise my drums, i've not been playing for so long i'm afraid i may have even lost the knack of doing it!