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my dream girl aint all satin and lace [entries|friends|calendar]

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[02 Mar 2005|09:33pm]
2 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

[02 Feb 2005|01:11am]
[ mood | cranky ]

Oh damnit, I lost my digital camera..so i have only been taking pics with my shitty webcam. I think i have insurence so I beleive i will be getting a new one soon. :)

Burn and twirl

[03 Jan 2005|01:11am]
You are Bettie Page!
You're Bettie Page!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
3 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

[22 Nov 2004|10:32pm]
Ok went back to the fucking hosptal..except this time i went to memorial hospital.
Day one: I arived at around 3 am so I got to sleep in the whole day..well at least till 5pm. Once i was awake i had to shower and then go out to the day room ..i ate nothing that day. Once i go to the day room i sit down on the only couch with no one on it. The girls across from me glared at me, some of them nasty looks and the others nice look."Hey blondie!..who are you?..how old are you?..why are you here?" the kind girls asked me i quietly said "erm, I'm chloe..i'm 14 and i am here for anorexia/bulemia,cutting,depression,hearing and seeying things,taking pills to overdose and suicidal ideation" ..They just said "oh.." and continued with what they were doing.I felt so miserable and depressed that evening i didnt think it could possibly get better in any way. Once we were all settled in our seats we had group on drugs and substance abuse. We would go around in a circle saying our name,age,why were here, and if we had ever used drugs or alcahol. After listening to everyones addiction to weed and heroin and alcahol..(mainly) we did a drug substence abuse art assignment woah boy did that suck. We had to write 15 or more reasons people do drugs. During that time a girl named Rabecca told me she likes my lip ring and then told me to hangout with her during dinner and free time. When she said that it made me feel a little bit more stable there knowing i was going to be a complete loner.
Day 2:
Got no sleep because i never got my meds. I eventually fell asleep. I was awoken by my doctor sitting at the tip of my bed chewing her gum so that you could see it roll around in her mout..it smelled awefulll like mint losing its flavor she tapped my shoulder and said " did you know throwing up can give you a heart attack?" I just said no and continued to try to go to sleep. I remebered that when i first got settled in and fell asleep a guy woke me up to take MORE blood outta me ( i had been in the hospital earlier that night getting all my drug tests,potasium test and blood drawn from me) So i complaned and told them that i already had blood drawn from me he just said "fine well then i guess i will leave you alone" i simply said "ok" and tried to sleep . ...Again i was awoken buy the same man except there was another man there standing at the tip of my bed ..he was one of the night staff he was very big and scary looking with his grey hair and his pony tail ..eeek. The man said "here i am going to take some blood and if you dont let me he will hold you down. So i got more blood drawn out of me ..oh let me add that i was dehidrated from the week before from being sick. SO they shouldnt have taken all that blood out of me. Now my hand is all bruised and discolored and dead...assholes. But that morning at 8 am ..(day 2) I got up and they handed me a tray with a box i opended the box and there was pancakes,syrup,gritz and eggs. I only ate half of the first pancake because they were horrible, the eggs are made from powder so i had trouble eating those ..uck..and the gritz..tasted horrible so i only drank my juice :> later that day i got introduced to the group i had my friend i and i was feeling pretty confident and hopefull. Morning group was just girls in the activity room (they seperated the boys and the girls for one day) We talked about one time we were miserable in out life..I talked about when i found out my dad died, rabecca talked about when her adoption dad beat her and her mother was a heroin adict, Lenay didnt want to share, Jessica didnt want to share, Flora (girl who reminds me of salena) Shared ..about when she was raped. Later that day in the day room i was very very very very talkative ..everyone would laugh because i would go on talking about anything blah blah blah. Sarah (staff) called me chatting cathy haha.AFter that was a good day everything was the same ..we watched a lot of movies at night while i talked all through them.
Day 3:
day 2 was filled with anger ..anger about the rules anger about being in a sucky ass hospital and anger with the staff that dont listen to you when you knock on the wall to get permission to leave the room. I would just chat and talk about how much i hated the rules...that got me No Where. I was mad that the staff made me feel violated when i though about when they Strip searched me. I was happy that i could finally shower that day with my shampoo and my conditioner ...oh wait they took away my conditioner because it had alcahol in it and i would drink it ..lame mother fucking rule.....to be continued
4 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

[21 Oct 2004|12:55am]
I made a cake..this morning ...

peace bitches
3 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

[02 Oct 2004|10:56am]
Last night i got drunk..i guess ..or thats what everyone else says. But it was fun. I now can say i have been sexed on in a hot tub and 3am...yes that right sexed on..i was being sexed..just sexed on. Damn you alyse and kevin i feel so violated.

1 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

[30 Sep 2004|11:03pm]
New blonde hair.....

When you're alone and life is making you lonely You can always go - downtown Collapse )
Burn and twirl

[27 Sep 2004|12:39am]

.....It comes down to this.I will still prolly have some public entries but the rest are gonna be friends only.Comment and Maybe I'll add you back.
2 Dead girls dance Burn and twirl

New Livejournal [26 Sep 2004|09:49pm]
[ mood | bored ]

New livejournal.

Lately nothing great has happend today i dyed my hair blonde but I will soon dye it blue or green or something like that i dont know.

Burn and twirl

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