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moved! [Feb. 21st, 2007|10:27 pm]
hello friends,

i have moved! come visit me :)
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Jeepers Creepers [Feb. 21st, 2007|12:20 am]

There is a boy, a very creepy boy. Let us call him Jeepers Creepers for nothing else can express the sheer creepiness of his utter creephood. He seats himself - uninvited -  with us at our table during dinner. He opens his creepy creepy mouth, competely out of the blue, and says, "So, do you live in China?"

I am sure that I have misheard him over the noise of the dining hall. "Sorry?", I say, "I didn't catch what you were saying".

"I said", Jeepers Creepers repeats very slowly and clearly as if I am hard of hearing or perhaps slow of comprehension, "I said, do you live in China?"

I correct him politely and tell him that I live in Singapore but was born in Canada, and vow to avoid running into Jeepers Creepers in the future. Jeepers Creepers believes that he is The Expert on all things Asian because he has taken several years of Japanese. And in his Expert opinion, someone who is Chinese must be from China, just as someone who is black must be from Africa. Obviously.

There are far too many Jeepers Creepers here. But never mind that, we Asians must go write fortunes for our fortune cookies and take over the world with the sage advice we offer.
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the sky is so blue [Sep. 26th, 2006|05:45 pm]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Location |my room]
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]
[Current Music |Chocolate - Snow Patrol]

oh yes it is, and the sunshine is so golden, and the grass is so green, and it is a very very beautiful day (and no, i'm not doing pot). which is my way of justifying the uploading of random gratuitous photos of college ;p enjoy! :)

ps. stay tuned folks, the focus of the next issue of the photoblog shall be FOOD ;D
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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2006|03:25 pm]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]
[Current Music |All These Things That I've Done - The Killers]

hi there folks :) ok i haven't blogged for like the last five million years so this is just to let you know that i'm still alive and well and have not yet been viciously assaulted by some random american sex fiend and left to die in some dank dark alley ;p in fact, i think that my inability to remember that the cars all drive on the wrong side of the road over here is rather more likely to see me into the hospital than any number of fictional sex predators (which small town Brunswick, Maine seems to lack anyway). fortunately, it's mandatory by law here for cars to stop when they see pedestrians which means that even along the busiest road here (that's not saying alot, this -is- small town Brunswick), i can choose to cross along the most crowded stretch and be perfectly within my rights in causing a ten-car pileup on each side of the road as i trapse lithely across the asphalt.

in case you think i'm exaggerating when i afix the words 'small town' to Brunswick everytime i mention my dear sweet sad little college town, just keep in mind that most (by that, i really mean all buildings not on campus) of the buildings here don't exceed three stories in height and that up until a couple of years ago, a 12-storey dorm on campus was the tallest building in the entire state of Maine. there are people living out in the woods who don't have neighbours within walking distance. there are even people who think sweatpants constitute perfectly acceptable garb for braving the public! talk about rural seclusion =_=

but it's not all bad out here, actually it's been rather unexpectedly enjoyable. for one thing, the social (ie. night) life is incredible. there are parties every thursday, friday and saturday night. they engage bands to put up concerts at least once every week (which makes choosing between hitting the parties and the concerts rather tough). there's an amazing ice cream place about ten minutes off campus in Brunswick which serves icecream in scoops about the size of three of my fists (that's a size small, mind you. Welcome to America) in the most fabulous crunchy waffle cones - unfortunately it's now closed until next summer which is HEARTBREAKING. the people here are pretty nice too and by 'nice', i don't just mean that the guys are tall, hot and gorgeous (though they are ;p). the people are all genuinely friendly and interesting and also surprisingly diverse considering that Bowdoin's known for being primarily a recipient of rich white prep school kids who shop exclusively at J Crewe and Abercrombie & Fitch.

actually, i feel like i should insert a disclaimer here. these kids are interesting and intelligent -until- thursday night and then they all get completely trashed. i've had to walk more than one inebriated friend back to their dorms and i've only been here two weeks - can you see where this is going? so far, the drunks i've encountered have all been charmingly drunk (ie. refreshingly unabashed and utterly hilarious) though i've heard stories of the more unsavoury variety. the only issue is that when you're the only decently sober person at a party and incidentally also probably the lightest person around, it can be extremely difficult to lead people who outweigh you by perhaps twenty pounds back to their rooms, especially when their alcohol-soused minds are telling them that one more can won't hurt. haha did i mention how enjoyable it is being the lightest by a large margin? ;p it lets me tuck in to the fantastic dining hall food without feeling too guilty haha ;D anyway, im going to go do my work now - feel free to entertain yourself by drooling at my lovely dining hall menus here ;D;D
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Hi, my name is Helga [Aug. 5th, 2006|09:32 pm]
claire: jiaxun we can't hear anything if the speakers are facing down
me: i'm putting in the batteries la, you dodo

-2 second pause-

lucas: haha you're extinct!


jy (while seeking to peel orange with exceptionally thick skin): i need something sharp
me: well that's definitely not your brain then!


tq: look, i have an orange peeler!
jy (official orange peeler): oh no, i'm redundant!


tq: where does happy go?
everyone: uh where?
tq: happy go lucky! *laughs madly to herself*


claire: we should stage a Lucas musical! and jy can be his Vegetable Man sidekick!
lucas: i don't think i wanna be in this musical


lucas (after observing my plaits, straw hats and shorts): jiaxun you're german! you're a Nazi! you're Helga!


ladies and gentlemen, i present to you my classmates ;p
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there's life out there [Jul. 25th, 2006|10:35 pm]
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i think that perhaps i should consider taking up Scientology so that i can make my peace with the aliens. they have recently escalated their harassment from their usual midnight machinations where they merely rattle the roof tiles and make the water pipes groan while im trying to get some precious shuteye to actual physical attacks! :(:(:(

for example, on Saturday the aliens kidnapped my brain and when they returned it to me, it was cunningly re-programmed to delude me into believing that spending an afternoon at ECP partaking of Healthful Exercise would be a good idea despite my usual (sensible) avoidance of any and all physical exertion thingys. so i foolishly and naively undertook renting a set of rollerblades and proceeded to fall like, i dunno, five times in ten minutes. eh, i know what you're thinking, stop that right now - i can blade ok!! anyway i discovered that the reason for my extraordinary attraction to the ground was a faulty Left Blade of Doom (its front wheel was loose) - obviously the work of those aliens! so i turned around and headed back to the Evil Alien Rollerblade Rental Shop to get another set of blades when this evil speed demon - obviously an Evil Alien Agent in cahoots with the Evil Alien Rollerblade Rental folks! - came up behind me and swept me off my feet. uh, literally, not figuratively or romantically or anything pleasantly agreeable like that but physically and painfully and disturbingly! i have a slightly sprained left wrist and a deep plummy blue-purple bruise approximately the size and shape of a smallish egg on my left hip to show from my decidedly disturbing encounter with Mr Alien Speed Demon, and also a newly-discovered and highly regrettable propensity to swear under shock, for which he is solely and horribly responsible though his grovelling apologeticness somewhat migitates his crime (instead of being a Careless Young Punk, he's just a Careless Young ..Lad?).

you'd think that i'd have been wise enough to throw in the towel after that but i, gripped in throes of a bout of abysmal stupidity, decided to practice cycling after i was done blading! i could go on at length about my ineptitude with wheeled objects but suffice it to say that i wove incessantly from my side of the road into oncoming traffic, nearly hurled myself off a bridge into the canal, and caused a three-bicycle pile-up in a relatively uncrowded stretch of ECP. fortunately, nichole (my favourite nun! i think Saturday afternoon has chalked up some major brownie points for you up in heaven!) intervened at this point and decided that i should stop endangering myself and the general public and that we should go home and shower so we could watch all of Johnny Depp's glorious gloriful glory onscreen later at night!

<3<3<3 Captain Jack Sparrow, and not to mention the gorgeous Will Turner ;D;D someone smack stupid Elizabeth Swann though rahrahrahhhh - she must be an Alien too ;p

i think i'm going to go put on my tin foil hat now - them aliens can read our minds!
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Attack of the Jigsaw Part II [Jul. 16th, 2006|01:58 pm]
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(also known as The Reunion of the Kooky Friends ;p)

i cannot think what possessed me to buy a thousand-piece nightmare as the sequel to our first foray into the world of obsessive compulsive jigsaw completion. i think we may never complete it. or wait, perhaps we will and then realise that the Gods of Jigsaw are frowning on us and have vapourised that vital piece of puzzle right in the middle where the little boy should have an eye and that we will never be able to actually complete the puzzle and that little boy will be a cyclops forever!! oh the horror :(

on the bright side, it's a marvelous excuse that forces us to keep meeting up again and again and again ;D;D bring on Part III !!
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just to prove that my blog's not dead ;p [Jun. 25th, 2006|05:12 pm]

i spent the better part of today trapped in an insane 200 minute driving (read: the activity which has been sucking away my life and rendering my blog comatose for the past month) nightmare. i've never really enjoyed driving lessons - something in me just can't get used to the fact that we're not supposed to knock down all the orange cones and that, no, we don't get twinkly star-like bonus points if we knock them all down with one movement (the product of far too many hours of super mario in the tender years of my misspent youth?) - so it's no surprise that today's session was no different ;p

you see, the Instructor of the Day was Mr Apeface (he does so remind me of one) who is evil and discouraging and racist and should be banned from inflicting his Supreme Ugliness upon the unsuspecting and undeserving general populace. he likes to start each lesson by telling me how "alot of peepul have plobrem with dis one, i hop you're not like dat ah", with a disapproving expression that tells me of his deep and abiding conviction that i will be the worst yet of the lot, and liberally spinkles his discourse with random sweeping (and utterly unfounded) generalisations against All Who Are Not Chinese which only fuels my desire to drive him into the nearest drain - a deep dank one with running sewage for preference - and leave him there to rot! only consideration for my own well-being (ie. how i'm going to clamber out of the aforesaid sewage-infested drain) stays my hand ;p

also, Sir Apeface always comes packaged together with a particular car which (unfortunately) complements his loathsome personality perfectly. its engine vibrates excessively with great shuddering jerks such that when the car is at rest, i can feel myself being bounced off my seat like a ping pong ball in the hands of one of those super duper megastar table tennis players from china. the sound effects which accompany its statacco trembling go something like "ghh-dhh ghh-dhh ghh-dhh" except vastly speeded up and much more annoying. there's also something desperately wrong with its coolant tank cause it seems to be continuously and horribly overheated. it emits this strange hissing popping noise which leaves me convinced that the engine is about to spontaneously combust but Mr Apeface in variably waves this away airily as the "pehhhhhr-fect-ry normal" sound of the coolant evaporating.

thankfully thankfully thankfully, this is the last of my 200-minute marathons of madness that i've booked - all lessons henceforth shall come singly ;D;D;D it's hello once more to my sadly missed social life, glory be alleluia ;D;D;D
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random [Apr. 13th, 2006|10:55 pm]
[Current Music |Seasons of Love - Rent]

conversation between sheena and me:

everything in its time says:
the only boy i rem from kindergarten was
everything in its time says:
everything in its time says:
called LYCHEE or sth
when the skies are brighter canary yellow says:

like what a cool name, he must wake up everyday thanking his parents for that one.
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Dancing In Red Shoes Will Kill You [Mar. 22nd, 2006|11:19 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Music |Linger - The Cranberries]

i have a secret admirer and her name is Sandra.

Sandra, who is a very friendly young lady, has been sending me love messages - yes, it's Disclose The Steamy Contents Of Your Junk Mail Folder Time again - titled along the suggestive lines of "EverybodyNeedsAF**kFriend..we all do" or  "BeMyF*kBuddy" (with censorship courtesy of yours truly). goodness, i'd no idea i was so irresistible ;p i know i was in a convent school (and for that matter, in st nicks - famed for its production of Grade A butches and passives) for ten years, but this is a bit much. i mean, look: Sandra, i know that we live in a free country and that we're currently wooing the pink dollar and that you're perfectly entitled to have atypical romantic leanings for your gender. but still, i'd really appreciate it you'd concentrate your amorous attentions elsewhere CAUSE YOU'RE BARKING UP THE WRONG STRAIGHT-BRANCHED TREE HERE (!).

ah well, at least Sandra is a fan of mine cause the people who call me at work every day (to ask inane questions about Terribly Asinine Xylophones) sure aren't. on the contrary, they'd like nothing better than to stand cackling over my very dead body (no prizes for guessing who's killed me), preparing to harvest my organs for sale in China and to donate the meat from my carcass to the UN Oil For Food Programme :(:(:(

perhaps i'll just dance away in my new red shoes and never never come back to the dread House of Xylophones where the air is as dry as how your throat feels before you have to give a speech and the calls are as unending as how a semester of school looks at the end of the june holidays.
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