Tags: humor

Medieval Lady

Extreme Jacuzzi Enthusiasm Romance Novel!!!

Ok, so, based on a rather spectacular photo , Sarah over at Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels put together a contest for describing a romance novel with a hot tub/jacuzzi theme... which, of course, my brain immediately came up with an entry for (SEAL agents, hot tubs, and hot air ballooning! How can you go wrong?). After a brief detour into the spam filter, it's now up, along with a whole list of hysterically funny possibilities-- check them out, and vote for meeeeee* as inclined!

*What? *attempts innocent look* Book store gift certificate prize!**

**Because, really, I currently suffer from a shocking lack of books....
Medieval Lady

Weekend Conversations, pt. 1

(nb-- bracketed words are an attempt to mark out a roughly phonetic spelling)

Last Saturday:

d_ragondaughter: Heeee!

Me: What?

Her: Reading my flist; copperbadge has an entry up... "“I just received an invitation to The 31st Annual [MAYL]COM Conference & Exhibition. As far as I can tell, [MAYL]COM is like a fan convention, only for people who really love business [mayl]. There's an exhibition hall where you can learn about the latest in [mayl] technology. I could go to a seminar on [Mayl] Systems Management or learn how to secure my distribution options and develop [mayl] disaster preparedness...."

Me: Um.. wait... hang on.. could you spell the verison of "[mayl]" involved?

Her:... M. A. I. L.


Her: What did you think I was talking about with "MAILCOM"?

Me: Um... well... I thought it was... umm.. you know, like Yaoi-con.. but with business suits?


Me: Um?

Her: So... the latest in "male technology" would be....?


Her: *goes off snickering about "male disaster preparedness"


d_ragondaughter: *reading website* Huh.... interesting... "When I get [mayl] ready to sell/wear/give to someone, I've taken to prepping it a little before it leaves me."

Me: Uh-huh....

d_ragondaughter: "First, I clean it with lemon juice"

Me: Wait... um... er.. could you spell which "[mayl]" you're referring to, again...

Her: M.A.I.L.E.

Me: Right...

Her: What did you THINK was being cleaned with lemon juice?

Me: Erm... I was still getting confused about the "getting ready to wear"....

Her: MAILCOM cosplay!

Me: Well, I do like a boy in a suit?

Poultry Concerns

As part of my campaign to escape the shackles of my computer desk at least once a day, this afternoon d_ragondaughter and I went to the grocery store to take advantage of a sale on canned soup, then swung back around to the Target, using the Sekrit Back Route of Not Taking the Highway on a Saturday. (it's non-stop fun and excitement around here, folks)

We came up to the first turn, waited for the light, and she was about halfway through the intersection when we both kind of looked, blinked, and simultaneously said, "Is that... a _chicken_?"

Because, yes, indeed, there was a fairly large chicken, at the side of a gravel driveway belonging to a small pinkish house, happily pecking away. And, as we drove past the house itself, we could see there were two more chickens, also cheerfully involved in some very important gravel- and bug-related endeavors. Not a usual thing to see in that part of town, free-range chickens.*

Then, as we were pulling up to the Target, I noticed that the parking lot had sprouted a new building. With signs on it indicating that it is soon to become a Kentucky Fried Chicken.**

Me: That's... they're putting up a Kentucky Fried Chicken??

Dragonsdaughter: Wait, what? NOOOOOO!

Me: There, there; the Chick-Fil-A will laugh at it. *pious tone* Except on Sundays, when it will pray for its miserable soul.

Dragonsdaughter: *bursts out laughing*

(seriously; the Chick-Fil-A is no more than fifty yards away from the new building)

*Mostly due to the large intersection and significant road, frankly. Although I vaguely recall regulations about chickens and suburbia in general sort of way, but that might have been for the next town over.

**Or, if you want to go by their recent, face-palmingly dumb attempt to redefine "KFC" for the modern, health-conscious age, "Kitchen Fresh Chicken"... that never really seemed to take, although they pretty much stick to the initials nowadays, and hope people won't think "Fried."